I still don't know if my husband is The One. Ask me again after we decide to open the divorce gift we've offered one another for every one of our 38th anniversaries. The 39th anniversary might be The One.

In my own strictly personal marriage, the freedom to walk away is what keeps me putting up with his less appealing qualities. Damned imperfect humans. . .

Good thing he found someone perfect, huh?

If you have to ask, he's not the one.

I like both above responses. After 26 years I stubbornly kept telling myself she’s the ONE. When the truth is, while we love eachother, there have been times when we simply weren’t good for eachother. This is when we have learned (the hard way) that it’s time to make ourselves the ONE. And then come back together. Like arfie said; freedom. The trap of the ‘one’ concept is that it leads to oneness thinking ie one life, one intimate friend, one choice.... When we create moments where we bliss on eachothers company then I feel blessed. But I have learned not to pile up expectations for the future based on that. That’s where complacency sets in and when we allowed that to happen we suddenly weren’t the ‘one’ for eachother anymore. Ask yourself: can I be my honest self around this person. And can they around you?

I don’t think there is a one. I think if you meet someone and you really like them and they like you, then you try to have a relationship and see where it goes.

What rmb said. "The one" is a foolish myth perpetrated by rom-coms and Disney movies. To think there is only one person you could be happy with out of 8 billion in the world, and you perhaps have stumbled across that person... well, maybe play the lottery instead. :) Odds might be better.

I gave this a little more thought. My perception is, that whle I agree the disney fantasy is silly, we really don’t have 8 billion choices either. Cut that in half by gender, unless multi- lingual reduce to your language, then who you are attracted to, a person who’s thoughts and morals you can respect, and someone who is willing and able to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Now the pool isn’t in the billions anymore. In my experience she’s the one because that’s what happened. We learned so much about ourselves through eachothers eyes. I am happy being married to her. So she is the one. Of course I could be with another woman living a good life. But it wouldn’t be this one. We create the experience everyday with our partners. How much maturity we attain together is the difference between the one and the wrong one. I’m curious to hear your take.

Take your time and get to know someone. Relationships take a lot of work and commitment.

Romantic destiny is a myth. Lump the idea of a soul mate into that too.

It's part luck who you meet in life and part deciding to love the one you are with.

When you love the one you’re with aren’t they the one? Even if for a little while. I agree with the soul mate myth. Mostly. I believe in karma so who we ‘luck’ into may be necessary for us to work out some lessons we didn’t get the last time. This has certainly been the case in my marriage. Would I have gained the same insights that has led me to the place I am with someone else? Certainly possible. Different path same destination idea.

Right, loving the one you are with by definition makes them the one for whatever time you have with that person.

Maybe it’s choosing one vs waiting for THE one.

I dont have the romantic perception of "the one" anymore. But I do believe that two people can grow into a functional, very loving, and fullfilling partnership for life.
What comprises that for me is respect, understanding, and support, physically attractive qualities, similar interests, and a sense of humor. You both build each other up, are selfless and realistic in battles, and you feel safe in his arms. More than anything you never feel your freedom is taken away.