Hi everyone,

I was at my boyfriend's house last night, and brought over homemade dough for everyone to make their own pizzas (including my 10yr old daughter). He was mostly outside with his friend, while my daughter and I were inside helping his daughter make her pizza etc. Later that night his daughter was snuggling with myself and my daughter and he scooped her up wanting her to snuggle with him bc he said he was cold. He wanted to be close with her, which is fine. However, she didn't. She wanted to hang with "the girls" as she put it.

However, he wouldn't let her go and kept holding her on his lap to the point where her emotions escalated and she was screaming, hitting and trying to get out of his hold, and at one point said he was hurting her, which he said he wasn't. This went on for about 15 minutes and it was all I could do to keep quiet about it. Both my daughter and I looked over a couple of times but said nothing, as I didn't feel it was my place to do so, being his child and home.

After finally letting her go, she came over and sat in a chair close to me heaving from crying and very distraught. I wanted to take her in my arms and comfort her, but tried to remain neutral and put my arm around her. He then got mad again saying he'd had enough as he turned her bedroom light on telling her it was time for bed, and she said her mom let her stay up with her and watch movies...she was still heaving from crying before, still very upset at being held against her will. My daughter piped in trying to strike a nuetral deal, for her to give him a hug and him letting her watch the rest of the movie with us. But his daughter didn't want to go near him. He then picked her up anyway and brought her into his room (in an attempt to put her to sleep now) where she cried again for about 10 minutes and to the point of saying over and over "I want my mommy!"

It was very upsetting for me to be in a situation like this because if it were my daughter I wouldn't want her restrained against her will like that and to the point where she was screaming, hitting feeling physically hurt and clearly in distress. And because I didn't feel it was my place to say anything, I told my daughter we were leaving. I couldn't stand hearing it anymore. It was hard to listen to.

But once we got our coats and boots on, they both came out, and she came over to me for comfort asking "aren't we having a sleepover?" She was still very upset and I stood there caught in the middle of leaving and him seeing us ready to go (we were supposed to spend the night) and her now wanting us to stay. My daughter wanted to stay to be there to comfort her, but he mentioned something about me going to warm up my car (I guess providing an out for whatever reason). So then I felt guilty for leaving this distraught little girl who seem to need us for comfort. But he told her to go get something and we made our way out.

It didn't seem he was intentionally trying to cause her distress but rather oblivious to the fact that he was. He seems a little jealous at other times too when she wants to sit on my lap and sit with my daughter and I and has done this before, but not to this extent. It was awful to see her being held against her will and to the point of this level of distress. It was so disturbing that I had to leave last night at 11:00 at night, and still is. It was awful to witness and not be able to do anything. And I can't imagine being physically held against my will like that regardless of my feelings and actions, like his daughter was.

What are your thoughts?