Healthy Relationships Support Group

No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.

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He's still talking to her

BrooklynnMB
BrooklynnMB

He left his google account signed in and I saw it.  His ex girlfriend whom he remained friends with after his breakup about 10 years ago was 4th on his list of frequently contacted contacts.  I was number 1. But her being 4 is pretty high.  We've talked about his communication with her before and he always says they hardly talk.  Then how is she number 4? I don't know what to do.  He gets defensive when I bring her up saying he's not doing anything wrong.  I don't think he's getting together with her but I think maybe they're texting each other. 

rmb
rmb
I’m confused. Does he deny he talks or texts her? Or does he deny the frequency?
BrooklynnMB
BrooklynnMB
I didn't tell him I snooped but I told him I had a gut feeling that they were still talking and he admitted it. He didn't really deny anything anymore and came forward. He claims he'll be honest from here on out. I'm not sure I can get past the fact that he lied in the first place.
11Christmases
11Christmases
Always trust your intuition! Decide right now what your deal-breakers are with him. And stick to it...even if it's just another gut feeling, you are going to have to trust yourself over whatever he tells you.
BrooklynnMB
BrooklynnMB
My gut actually is that he won't do it again. However, I'm not sure I can get over that he did it at all.
Dzapata
Dzapata
I am sorry you are experiencing this and have been for while. I can not tell you what to do. I can not replace him in your life. It is easy for us to say ;eave him but we don't know how big of a part he plays in your life. However, I would like to encourage you to take some time and focus on yourself. Pick up a hobby that you have always wanted to do. Redirect your energy and time to positive things that benefits you and makes you a better person. The more you focus on yourself, the more you will realize "YOUR" worth. The more you realize your worth, the more you your perception of him will change.
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