About a week and a half ago, some friends of mine were getting together at their house to hang out for a bit and then go out for drinks. When I got there, I knew everyone but one guy. He was nice (and incredibly hot) and I found out later in the evening, our engaged friends were using the night as an excuse to set us up. We spent the next day out with our friends, got dinner just the two of us, and then met up with friends again. We had one more date that was just us two. Already this guy is calling me pet names, asking for advice while he went on a guys vacation this weekend, etc. I'm not generally a fan when friends push people at me, but now this guy seems to be seeing us a couple and we've only hung out 3 times! I know myself and I know that if I feel pushed or pressured, I'll pull a runner and the guy will never hear from me again. I feel like I want to give him a chance so I've told my friends to stop pushing the whole deal on me and have tried to set a slower pace for how often I hang out with the guy (like twice a week.)

The difficult part is another friend of mine. He's been my best friend since we were in school and it's been getting to be more than that now. I talk to him on and off every day, we spend the night at each others' houses a lot, and we've hooked up but not actually slept together. I did tell him how I felt but it was at probably the worst time ever. He was at a bachelor party weekend and my "telling him" was more a frustrated blow-up than anything. (To my credit, I didn't KNOW he was at a bachelor party weekend till he told me the next day.) He never directly acknowledged it and now both of us dance around the topic and joke about the fact that neither one will just cop to it. I think it's more of a "no one wants to go first" type thing. My friends told me that after I left one night, they were talking about this other guy and he was acting jealous and when they finally asked him if he was interested in me, why was he so bothered, they said he clammed up and wouldn't say anything at all. A lot of people find him difficult...hell, I do too sometimes...but he's one of the most important people in my life. I love the guy, pain in the ass as he is.

I don't know what to do. On the one hand, I don't want to potentially rob myself of a good thing by completely ignoring this new guy. Slowing the pace down and telling my friends to shut up about it are both practical, easy to achieve goals. But if I had the chance to be with my best friend, that has been dealing my craziness for almost half my life now, I would take it in a heartbeat. I just don't know how to make that conversation happen...we're both a little emotionally stunted. The other problem is that I've had boyfriends try to force my friend out of the picture before, some successfully. It won't happen again. He's been there longer and it takes a lot of work to get our friendship back on track after the boyfriend is gone and I'm trying to make up for blowing him off for months/years at a time. So, if new guy comes in to the picture, he has deal with my friend's presence...and a lot of underlying tension that comes with it.

Okay, so I'm a mess. I never know what I'm doing. I thought dating would get easier as you got older, but I'm in my late 20's now and still find myself in a disaster area!