Hey sweetie... I'm sorry that you're struggling..... I haven't been through what you have BUT I was very sick for months last year and it can come back so it's really affected me to the point that I lost my hair due to the trauma

I think it takes a lot of courage for you to reach out and it would be nice for you to get together with old friends.... it might be really uplifting for you

People on this board are great.... Many long time DS members who care and try to help with all different kinds of relationships

There is also a PTSD board on here..... Big squishy hug... xo

Hi and Welcome!! I salute you for your efforts to reconnect with long lost friends...you Are Braver Than I For Sure!! I think it's wonderful to reach out, take each person as they are, ask them to do the same with you and see what happens.

What I've found is that there may be initial interest, but if you feel negativity, or people don't recripicate and you are doing all the work to connect...then maybe they might not be right for you at this time.

All you can do is "Try"....I'm 70, have one 2 friends I can call and talk with and my many online friends here on ds. I've lost friends over the years by them moving, dying, or me pissing them off...oh well, it's all part of life. I don't know if this might help you with your anxiety, I try to keep in mind 'accept, adapt' to life situations these days.

Sending you my best, with the hope your 2024 Year that is just Blossoming will have lots of color!!

HI E! This is where I think we have to really examine our motivations and our old friend's personalities. What do we expect from contacting our old friends? Will we be okay if they don't call or text or email back? Will that make us more depressed and anxious or will be accept and adapt as mlro said.

Were these people who obviously dumped you because you got sick or tried to stand by you until you dropped the friendship ball? Because it matters, don't pursue those people who can't handle illness or "disability" in other people.

My husband has lost his vision and lost many friends who couldn't handle it. He has one old friend left. He nows has tons of new friends and most are visually impaired of some type. We now have friends who are couples and one is blind, one is not. It is such a relief to not have the judgement -- the treating visually impaired as children.

You might consider joining a support organization for people who have had strokes or similar to your situation or a PTSD support group. Because those people will truly understand.

And then if you want to try to contact old friends and can handle any silence from them, then do so. So I am saying actively pursue new friendships and consider attempting contact with your friends who tried to stay in touch but you dropped the ball. The high character ones. Those who blew you off when you got sick, don't contact them.

This is the time of year that people seem to naturally think of old friends and want to contact people.

I have chronic pain and I think I am sick today and might have to cancel a lunch with a good friend tomorrow and I am distressed over this. I feel the need to connect but whatever is wrong with me is not the type of thing you drive with, it feels too shaky and headachy. I have learned to pursue friendships with high quality people of good character. The pandemic made me lose a few friends who I realized were not good character people.

This friend who I hope to eat lunch with tomorrow, she told me about how during the pandemic she realized her friendships were not high quality, be there for her, and she wanted "real" friends. We had a discussion about that and I totally related to what she said. Our friendship goals were the same which was a relief.

Well I think you should move on!
From the past behavior that has been limiting you:)
Reach out and be your genuine self. Honesty is refreshing and will be received well by the right people for you!
I’m a volunteer EMS responder and have had a good number of stroke patients. I know it’s scary and I hope you had dedicated people to help through that ‘accident’ Best wishes

I was in a similar situation. I wouldn't follow through on get togethers with friends. I would cancel. I didn't have much of an excuse. It wasn't too nice of me. My good friends had enough of it and the friendships soured. I was very lonely afterwards.
I saw them years later the two of them, but we were never much friends again. Sorry it didn't work out. Maybe if you moved on and met some new friends then you could try to reacquaint with the old friends. That way it wouldn't be too.much of a blow if they weren't interested.

Thank you all! I really appreciate all of your words!

Just going off of the overall consensus of the group, I feel like I shouldn't overthink it and let it happen organically. Don't try to force something and don't get my hopes all the way up. It's hard, because I miss those friendships of years ago, but we all are different people now, they didn't know what I was going through, and I never fully explained.

We're all grown up now and maybe can start something new or it's nice to just hangout one more time and that's ok too.

Thank you all for helping me, it actually brought a tear to my eye to come to that realization from your help. Thank you!

Hello, my feelings are if you feel like reconnecting with some from your past nothing wrong with that, time will tell if they reciprocate and you might be pleasantly surprised,
Happy New Year!
Gary