there is nothing wrong with having a friend with benefits. relationships can have many shapes and forms. i'm hopeful and patient. stay tuned for the latest updates. thanks.

Sounds awesome my friend, just make sure she is understanding and has the same expectations as you. Hell you might fall in love? Personally, a stripper or dancer is no tabu for me, you don't date her at the strip club, you see her in her life, who she is, how she thinks, what makes her smile and laugh, what makes her cry, there is certainly light in every person.

By the way.... bump... back to the top.. for this old discussion... LOL

Just keep in mind who you are dealing with. I have dated one in the past, and there is one in my life now that I think will become a regular friend with benefits, although so far she has been very regular. Also, remember, she probably has some major issues in relationships because they do not trust and have no real self esteem. That business seems to attract them. There is also a lot of drugs around most of the clubs and she will have a lot of opportunities to use and abuse. The current one in my life only dances from time to time. She really is going to college and only dances when she needs cash. She says in her past life she has been a hustler but not a hooker. Her background also includes some time during which she was totally supported by a sugar daddy.

My experience is that these ladies are not boring, but, they are not candidates for more than superficial relationships.

i agree with all of you guys. last night was with my "friend" was different. first time that i went to see her on a friday. it was busy. we did our usual thing but she would go off and work the room and then come back to me and then be off again. she was concerned for how i would take it watching her work on other men. i was very cool with it. had a great time met a bunch of other dancers in between. fun night. can't say any progress was made on taking it to the next level. money was spent.

a contination of my own reply. i am feeling really weird and empty today. alone..... i feel part of me is empty. i want to be with her more.
haven't felt this way before. am i falling for her? what the hell am i allowing to happen?

As long as you accept it for what it is, and are cool with the fact that it costs you money, I see no harm in continuing as is.

today i am debriefed and cool with it. i will continue. got to keep in mind that she has a group of regulars and i am just one of them. once every month or two does not pose a financial burden on me. i think next time i go in it will be on a slow night ( mid week). i have known her for about 4 years but it has been only the last year that i became one of her regulars. i don't have anyone that i talk about this with so this exchange we have really helps me. thanks.

I used to be one, and I must admit that the work makes a women get burned out on men, and usually too tired for sex. Also a lot of dancers tend to string men along trying to get money ... so be careful.

sapph, thank you so much. that is what i keep telling myself. i really should distance myself from that scene.

I have never dated a stripper. LOL But it sounds like you are judging her. stripping ( I heard is a good job if you work in the right club).

are you insecure within yourself? she was honest, and open about what she does. she shakes her ass for a lliving, now you can either get with her( acceptance) or you can walk away. (self preservation)

Good luck

connecticut. PS is she pretty?

i have dated them (dancers) before. but this is the first time that i have allowed myself to get emotionally attached. i accept what she does. she works at a good club, i have been going to for years and i feel very comfortable there. i am a very confident guy why else would i be pursuing these most illusive of creatures?

to me she is beautiful.

i am not judgemental of her at all. the conflict is within me. you go to these "gentlemen's clubs" and on the surface you understand the game that is going on. but underneath you are a man and she is a woman. things get easily blurred. these clubs are double edged swords. we men get sucked into going to satisfy our urges and some get in over their heads emotionally or financially. the girls are lured in by the "easy" money and then get caught up in the "lifestyle" of it. they begin to, if they did not already, to view men with hostility and disdain. just a source of income and they lose there ability to have a normal relationship with a man. i think that is why many dancer girls turn to lesbianism or drugs. i'm sure the club owners are very sensitive to these issues. haha!

big development. i'm going in to meet my dancer tommorrow. but first she agreed to meet me for dinner outside the club. could be a big step to taking things to the next level. will let you know how it goes.

I wouldnt. you should ask if they have a vip room... if she says yes then you know she doesnt just strip. if i was intwerested in agirl and i found that out... id bolt.