that is what i have been trying to do. i have not had sex with her yet. read my previous replies. i have become her regular but it is more than just getting a lap dance or a stint in the vip room. she will hang out with me at the club for 4 hour clips of time. no stripper just does that. we sit, drink and most importantly for me we talk. sure i would like to make love to her but i like her. i know i'm crazy for this.

There's one way to know for sure: Ask her out! To someplace other than the strip club! If she squirms or freaks out, she wasn't into ya to begin with; it was all about the cash. If she says "yes" and shows up for the date, look at her and see if she's as friendly as she was in the VIP room. Good hunting!

i have. and there is always a family obligation or something. she has said that she wants to but i am feeling more like a favored client rather than a potential boyfriend. she says that she has 2 children and has shown me pictures and stuff. i don't think she would make all that up but stranger things have happened. the hunt continues....

Ah-hah-!

Ask her if you could take her and her kids to a park for a picnic. If she feels weird about that, you're just a "preferred VIP client".

WOULD be kinda weird, her introducing you to her kids as "this is my...um..."

Such is the nature of dating a person in that profession.

well, i have a college student son and i have not told him about my escapades either. i don't know if i am ready to meet her kids yet. and i don't think she would be ready for that yet. she does like to say "jokingly" that i am her future husband. maybe when the weather gets nice i will invite her to the beach or a ballgame. being a favored client is not a bad gig either.

russhark, trust your instincts. I had a similar but brief relationship with a stripper (never got beyond the talk and time sitting together). But those were some great times; I was happy just being with her. She likes you and spends time with you because you don't push dating her, but hang with her like a good friend. I also sense that she is afraid. Not going out with you is her way of testing you and keeping a safe distance, but still enjoying your company. You enjoy her company too and get to see her up close and personal. Nothing wrong with that. In short you have a good, very good or even great relationship with her. Don't ruin it be getting greedy and demanding more. Now if things continue this way and your start to grow tired or the limitations then you'll have to make some choices about how to proceed.

thank you for the advice. she has told me stuff about her past, not great. i can't help but feel sorry for some of these girls. many come from at the least disfunctional to disasterous backgrounds. she is definitely a guarded soul and is not quick to let anyone into her inner sanctum. i don't act pushy and treat her like a lady when i am with her. that is just the way i roll.

if i had the body i would do it aswell, its a job at the end of the day it dosent mean she is a horrible person, i guess if she got all she needed out of her job she wouldnt have a relationship. She wouldnt care less about the people watching her strip its a income thats all. just my opinion.

no argument from me.

Look, she needs the money. As soon as the money slows down from you, it'll be interesting to see just how receptive she is to the beach or a ballgame.

But, she might just surprise ya. She might just be a diamond in the rough. As long as you don't put any pressure on her to give up her, um, job, you two might just become a couple.

But, if you continue to be her VIP client, she may indeed be receptive to those other forays. Just keep the money rolling her way.

no never. you have to accept her job. you never want to come off as some knight in shining armour who is going to take her away from all "that". i will see her again on friday. same as usual. there will be no pressure to take it to another level. that will come from her if it ever does. i only come in every other month, sometimes once a month. i saw her at the end of october and then not until late january. we still talked on the cell and texted. will let you know how it goes.

Have fun!!!

I don't believe you are looking for a relationship, are you? Sounds like a friend with benefits to me? Does sound like bragging...lol

Hey, for some of us, a "friend with benefits" is all we can handle anyway lol.