It doesn't surprise me at all that he is a sexual predator, knowing everything you ever mentioned about him. He's a very sick man. Kudos to you for refusing his request. Of course he's going to play games now. I know it's hard to stick with no contact but that's really the only way to protect yourself from being sucked in again. If he has financial control over you, that's a tool he's definitely going to use. It is very difficult to get money or anything out of a psychopath. He may have agreed to it but I guarantee it'll be the first tool he utilizes to control you. Have you filed for a separation agreement? Is there some way to put that into the terms of the separation agreement and avoid having to interact with him?

I would not give him a reference and move on. Stop all communication, period. Change your phone number, get off FB, and social media. Live in real life. Here's a blunt reality: Would you like to be involved [or your name mentioned] in that sexual misconduct case? Would you like to be labeled the same thing your husband is trying to fight against being labeled? Is he your ex-husband? If not, divorce him immediately, and if he indeed is your ex-husband why are you calling him "your husband"?
Get strength from within, and value yourself and move on now. Don't hang around or be involved with anyone, ever accused of abusing a human being. Cut all communication, end of story. Sending you good thoughts and I hope you read and understand what I typed here.

You can say to yourself "I did the right thing. I couldn't in good conscience give this man a good character reference when his character is questionable" and then "I'm lonely, but I'm throwing loving vibes into the universe, trusting that love will be returned to me in some other, mysterious, healthier way, lime a breath of fresh air". Chase the light, not the darkness!

You can get your way and avoid pissing him off, but it's tricky and requires practice.
This practice however, may be what can help you change your reactions towards him and in future relationships.

If you know something about a person, and feel strongly about it, there's no real need to verbalize it again and stir things up. You know the score, you've made up your mind, the file is closed and archived. So when they ask you to do something like this for them, your inside voice could be saying, " #@% (expletive), but your outside voice is going to be smarter and save you the aggravation, and say, "I would not be a good candidate for this because A, I'm not good in front of a judge and people, I'll start to shake and not make a good impression for you, and B, we're separated, so when I say nice things, they'll assume I'm lying, and it won't look good on you. I think you're better off having your friends to vouch for you."

Sometimes the road of least resistance is the smartest way to pave your way through difficult situations, instead of taking the road of drudgery. If you know you're going to be fine without him, and the only problems you're currently having are him, then minimize. Get smart and find ways to answer him to avoid getting pulled in. Show him how busy you are with your new life that you don't have the time to offer; make it up if you have to. You're doing it for the well-being of yourself, your daughter and your peace of mind moving into the future. Don't let him play games with you and pull you in, you're much smarter than that.

Now regarding your agreement, if I understand it correctly, you are to earn your own living, etc. and after one year, he will start to pay you alimony or will be giving you a lump sum?

If you have this arrangement, if it's even legal, I'd get it notarized or signed off by a lawyer. I know you've said in the past that if you get a solicitor involved, he said he would no longer be willing to help you out financially and would claim broke or bankrupt. Just so you're aware, even in bankruptcy, where I live, you still have to pay alimony from your earnings going forward, it doesn't absolve you from future financial responsibilities, just past owed debts, not ones going forward.

Now, I am not convinced that he has full intention of doing so, and may be leading you on to believe this. Right now you have no guarantees, and there may be loop holes in your state that gives him the advantage, if you agreed to earn your own living during your first year of separation, so I'd go and talk to a lawyer about it if you already haven't. The man who can think you were a sex trade worker when you met him, is not a man you can trust with these sorts of things. I think he's got a few tricks up his sleeve, and I'd protect yourself and sit down with a lawyer for a consultation and tell him all these things.

Imagine your horror, if after a year of doing well, merrily forging a new life for yourself, with an expectation of a bit of money coming in to help you, only to discover he's been stringing you along all this time, while you've been on your best behaviour. My best advice to you would be to dot your i's and cross your t's, and don't leave anything up to him. The only way to fully be free of him is to be free of him in every way.

Wow some good info Lenoire.....certainly should help..

The agreement is that he pays me a monthly sum for a year.
I have started divorce proceedings.

I have a new phone and I'm off social media and have changed my name.

He's just baiting me, I know it. Telling me he's back dancing (which is how we met) and 'can't afford me anymore'

I just need to keep busy and fill my head with other things in my new life.

There is no way I want to give him any kind of reference. He's disgusting to me. I want to go NC but I just worry about his wrath when I take control of this. He's very dangerous and I'm a bit scared of what he could do to be honest.

I agree the only way to be free of him is to be completely free of him. You can't have financial ties to someone and be completely free. But what you can do right now is everything in your power to not have to deal with him directly. Any and all agreements should be done through an attorney. It keeps it legal and fair for both of you. I would do all communication with him through an attorney. It's costly and it's not convenient but clearly there is just no other way to deal with this man that would be reasonable or sane.

And not giving him a reference is a no brainer. Man, he's such an asshole.

It's actually more than a reference, he wants a statement from me to clear his name in a criminal court case.
It's complete nonsense as I was his wife then and I cannot be a witness for him as such. But he won't accept that.
Anyway I have nothing to say in his favour AT ALL!

Go no contact.

If you changed your phone number then how is he contacting you?

... he called on my landline when I can't see the caller ID.

Im being a bit weak about all this aren't I.

I suppose I am trying to keep him on side and not piss him off.
If I ignore him he is quite likely to just show up at my house when he wants something., like he does with the statement.
He still has some of my stuff too.

I need to take ownership of this don't I. Cant believe how pathetic I am being! Gawd sake , get a grip woman!

It's super easy to fall back into our old habits. You are a nice person and a people pleaser. But jack asses like him will take advantage of that.
In this case you are going to have to go against your natural instincts to deal with him.
Too bad he knows where you live.
Don't answer the phone let him leave a message instead. Screen your calls.

You are doing fine, don't beat yourself up, you have come a long way, just keep going.

Yep!

Ditto OTM....and any time you start to feel soft....think again about what he did to that young girl.