There is no excuse for someone to treat anyone like that. I don't know your background, but if you could get a counselor to come into your home and counsel you both, I think that would be a good start. It's ok for you to stop loving someone who is abusing you - no matter how sick they are. If they are taking their anger and situation out on you -its their problem. But its your problem if you accept it. You cannot care for anyone else until you care for yourself first. Do not feel you are betraying him by letting others in your life know how he is treating you. Its not acceptable. Take care of you.

I think I messed up. No, wait... I did. I called the transplant office to see if there were any resources or anything for caregivers like support groups or anything like that. They called him.

Now I just added to his guilt. Made him feel more alone and that I don’t love him. That he just has to take care of himself. And he’s the “bad person”.

No explosive behavior, but then again he’s at work but he doesn’t want to talk to me. God I just don’t know what to do anymore.

You didn’t mess up. The transplant office did. Let him feel guilty. Maybe it’s letting him no you need help.

I think he’s just trying to lay a guilt trip on you. If he doesn’t want to talk to then let him sulk. If he’s up to going to work then he’s surely able to be a half way decent human being. Does he treat everyone like shit or just you? I mean is he an ass with his coworkers, his boss, his family.

Seriously maybe you take him up on his offer and let him take care of himself. You take a few days to yourself. Take the dog if you can do so he’s not an asshole to the dog too. I think you need to reach out to friends and family. I had in my head for some reason he was too sick to work. So really if he’s able to pull himself together for work he can pull himself together to be a decent person to you. What a miserable human being he is.

He works because he has to. We can’t afford to live on one income. Dialysis is making him weaker. The fact that he does t have a donor who is staying on top of appointments killed his hope. He’s just feeling deflated and depressed. Which I get. He isn’t himself. He’s foggy and weaker than he typically is. I’m trying my best to help by doing nearly all the house work, take care of our daughter and pets. But when I get home at 6, and our daughter goes to bed by 7. I try to do as much as I can at night but I get so tired that I can’t get much done plus I just want to spend time with him relaxing not just cleaning till I collapse every night.

He’s not strong enough to do much. Dialysis wears him out a lot. His blood pressure keeps dropping and he nearly passes out every time from it.

He’s hurting, scared and just not himself

Damn. You need to stand up for yourself so he will respect you.

Where is your family and his family in all this? How are they supporting you?

What do you need to clean every night? Can some stuff wait? The only thing I clean every day is my kitchen counter, my dishes and well that may be it. I guess I’m wondering if you can prioritize things so you aren’t running yourself ragged every day thinking it all needs to get done.