Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
It has been a while since I last posted. I sought therapy for the depression that was driving me to the casino. I began having car troubles, I fell and broke a couple of ribs, I was in another car crash, and my home was broken into (and my computer among other things was stolen) All triggers that made me want to escape, run away from home.
On October 29th I sat at one machine and poured all of my bill money for the month of November in it betting max, and never got ahead. I was just so mad at the unfairness life has handed me the last three years and decided I am going to recover tonight or go home broke The latter occurred and on my way out the door I picked up a self-ban form and returned it on the 31st. I cannot go back for a year and the nearest place I can go to play is 40 miles away. I work 6 days a week and do not drive well at night so I am done.
I will be caught up with the bills the end of this month, and the end of the year I will have money in the bank and some available credit on my credit card for emergencies.
Now I am struggling with what to do with my time in the evenings, especially with it getting dark so early.
On October 29th I sat at one machine and poured all of my bill money for the month of November in it betting max, and never got ahead. I was just so mad at the unfairness life has handed me the last three years and decided I am going to recover tonight or go home broke The latter occurred and on my way out the door I picked up a self-ban form and returned it on the 31st. I cannot go back for a year and the nearest place I can go to play is 40 miles away. I work 6 days a week and do not drive well at night so I am done.
I will be caught up with the bills the end of this month, and the end of the year I will have money in the bank and some available credit on my credit card for emergencies.
Now I am struggling with what to do with my time in the evenings, especially with it getting dark so early.
Your suggestions for filling my time in the evenings are casual.and solitary. In earlier posts I wrote that I live alone and have no family in the area and I am a smoker.
In earlier posts I wrote that I live alone and have no family in the area. I like living alone but everyone needs some sort of social life. Someplace to just pick u p and go to but there just doesn't seem to be anything except the casinos or a bar. (been there and done that.) I quit drinking years ago this week.
1. Art work truly relieves the anxiety that withdrawal can bring.
2. Join a Meetup.com group or start one
3. Museums and art galleries
4. Church activities
5. Volunteer somewhere (Habitat for Humanity, local children's ward at hospital, animal shelter, homeless shelter, soup kitchen, special Olympics, anywhere)
6. Crafts/woodworking
7. Journaling, keeping a gratitude diary, starting your novel.
8. Look for events at your local library, book clubs, SMART, teach a young reader
9. Meditation
You truly need to do something that gives you some social contact and opportunity to meet people as white knuckling through recovery in isolation is difficult at best. learning to take care of yourself includes finding social outlets and things to do that are rewarding. This is really a more important piece than the finances, we are social beings, if we do not bond with others we will bond with substances or negative behaviors like gambling.
Day one is the most important, the day we are done. I wish you well on your journey of recovery.
I hope I have learned to recognize them and leap over them because If I did have an uncontrollable urge to go play Id have to drive 40 miles, one way, alone and at night. Not wise.
I also learned there is a second paragraph to the Serenity Prayer:
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will;
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him forever and ever in the next. Amen.
"Until you feel like doing something else," she said.
We always think we need to be doing something. But, especially in recovery @sixtyplus, sometimes it's best just to sit and do nothing. You won't be sad, bored, depressed, anxious, or despondent forever. Eventually you'll turn on the TV. You'll want to get up and grab a snack. Maybe you'll want to go outside and go for a walk.
You don't need to know all of the answers. Be content with the beauty of the imperfection and the not knowing. You need to create emptiness so that other things can eventually fill it.
A smoker friendly coffee shop would be ideal, some place I can just pick up and go to any .time, see people to chat with and leave when I am ready to go.
Its a good thing I banned myself from the casino in my small town 2 weeks ago because those stumbling blocks rolled into my path. When I got up Thursday morning I could not access the internet and the restore exercise did not work. When I came home from work I still could not get on line. I called the provider and their efforts did not work either so they had to schedule a technician to come to my home.
Anxiety! I do not like strangers in my home! Besides being without internet for 2 days.
But he is gone now and the problem was a worn out modem.
On top of that I tried to make some copies with my printer/copier and it would not work either. Seems like it is worn out tool the paper wouldnt feed. Now I have to go buy a new printer. If I had not banned myself Id go to the casino to relieve some of this stress.
Tonight I will hook up the printer and start my week end chores.
A bit of good news to share. In my early posts I wrote that I had begun crocheting potholders as a pastime. Today I received an order for 20 of them at $5 each. That is $100 I can put in my savings box next week end instead of a slot machine!
But this morning for the first time there was a bad angel sitting on my other shoulder whispering But maybe you could get ahead of them today if you borrow some money and go play after work.
Playing with borrowed money is what got me in this mess. Taking an IOU against my paycheck at work, floating a check at my workplace, abusing my banks overdraft protection policy, postponing a bill til the very end of the grace period, renewing a payday loan; all of these I was borrowing from myself and betting on the come, but still borrowing money to play..and losing.
In 7 days I will have $100 of my own money to go have some fun with. I gotta get out of this house!!! And I will take that 40mile each way trip, but take no more money with me and leave the cards at home and quit in time to get home before dark.