Sounds like to me you are not even serious about quitting gambling. Please respect others on here that are trying daily to abstain from gambling. Anyone can gamble, very few can admit the destruction and horror that this disease brings. I chose to stand with those that are trying to improve there quality of life by using this website to inspire others to stay away from gambling .

Victoria2014..that is what I am saying. I also said playing with borrowed money got me in a mess. I also said I gotta get out of this house. I also said I will take no more money with me and leave my cards at home and I set a time limit on how long I will play.

Skip88.. I have never said I want to quit gambling. AMOF I have never called myself a gambler or addicted. Depressing events in my live caused me to seek a smoker friendly social venue and the casino is the only thing around other than bars. Been there done that and dont want to be around people who are drinking alcohol or stoned.

I have learned a lot from reading this site and believe I can manage having a couple hours of fun occasionally and not get back to where I was a couple of weeks ago.

I am overcoming a lot of the issues I tried to escape from and now know enough not to go play every day before work and every evening after.

What I cannot understand about the hard core addicts here is why? Is it greed?

There is no such thing as a hard core addict,just addicts. And most compulsive gamblers are not greedy, but they are very sick. They gamble for the action,not the money. It sounds like you think you can control your gambling. I hope you can,for your sake. But I am still baffled by why you are here. Like someone going to weight watchers that is not trying to lose weight. I know for me,almost a year clean I am a happier person away from that miserable excistance and feel sorry for those that can not stop.

When a person is borrowing, extending a loan etc, to gamble more, it is a sure sign that they have a problem. A normal person who controls their gambling does not borrow or have an obsession to chase their money. They simply play what the can afford and walk away with good feeling when they win and bad feeling when they loose.

Also a normal person does not put a blame on their life events as a reason to gamble. They usually find a solution to their problems and work through their issues without self destruction.

We comulsive gamblers are not so called "normal". When you are addicted you validate all of your reasons. To escape from a hardship, to recoupe the losses, to be alone, to celebrate, to reward myself for a hard work etc.... Anything and everything is a reason to place that bet...

It seems to me that you have learned some valuable lessons by putting yourself in a financial jam. And as long as you recover from it, you should be ok... This maybe true, however, there are conflicting statements you have made here, you've banned your self, not driving well at night so you are done.... And then now you are caught up with the bills so you can go now....

You can gamble or not gamble, it's your choice but if you are in need of gambling venue to get away from your life issues, you maybe better off getting yourself a massage or some type of relaxation with your $100.00. That's how the most normal people deal with their issues and problems. When is the last time you've felt relaxed and free of stress after gambling? Did you really felt great afterwards? And did your problem resolved? If you win, it's only a temporary solution to your issues and if you loose not only your problem still exist but you add 10 times more to your problems...

I hope you win when you go, I hope you win 10 times over and recoup all your loss. But my sincere advise is to choose different venue to "escape". There are many other ways to escape, relax and rewards yourself besides gambling.

Love,
Victoria

After reading some of the stories here I KNOW I can control how much time I spend at the casino playing the slot machines and smoking cigarettes just to keep from going home. I may have been on a path to addiction but woke up to reality soon enough to save myself.

Banning myself for a year from this local casino (and all other casinos owned by this Indian tribe) was not something I wanted to do but reading the sad stories here played a part in that decision. I will recover financially nicely before the end of the year, but one must have some fun sometimes

Hi there sixtyplus
I am a bit confused. Why are you even counting the days you do not gamble if you don't think you have a problem and don't want to stop gambling?
I am marking off the days on the calendar with a Big GF.

My confusion even goes to the extent of how do we know to cheer you on as you count down the days. I am excited for people to add those days up of not giving their money away.

ummmmmm, now what?

Well Marie, others here count the days they have not gambled. And how many times they have started over. I was just going along by saying I have not played for 18 days
For the umpteenth time I do not go to the casino to gamble there are other reasons for me being there.
Reasons, not excuses.

Victoria, can you name some smoker friendly social venues for a 70-something woman who works 6
days a week can just pick up and go to anytime she is free?

First let me say that I am posting this reply in an attempt to help you, trying to stay positive and respectful and am fully aware the decision to gamble, or not gamble is clearly yours. I do know from personal experience that our addicted brains trick us into believing things that will send us back to gambling, and sometimes it takes blunt and honest words from people who care to show us the reality of the situation.

I spent approximately 7 years of my life believing each morning as I awoke that TODAY was going to be the day I had control over my gambling, that (as I got ready to go play) today I was NOT going to lose control, spend more money or time than I wanted, or avoid things that I really needed to be doing instead of gambling. I went from no financial struggles each month, to barely squeaking by each month, to having to borrow from family or friends to get by, to even when borrowing...it didn't cover it all, to not giving a crap how far behind I was, I just knew I could win it all back. I lost all self respect for myself, I was no longer living by the values I once treasured in myself. Honesty, Respect, Truth, Integrity were no longer in my dictionary.

I lost more than money, I lost precious time with my family that I cannot get back, 7 years of watching my daughter grow up were wasted on trying to figure out when I could get away to go play more, stressing over money, and not being the mom she deserved. I felt numb. There was no happiness, only pretending to be happy, there was no goals, nothing. I could not stand to be by myself, at home alone was a nightmare as all I had there with me was my shame, my guilt and regret. The television always had to be on, or my laptop in front of me, worse yet I felt I had to leave each day to go gamble to escape the feelings that were caused by...the gambling.

Today was my 138th day of being gambling free, my 138 day of NOT thinking about when I could go again, my 138 day of thanking God above for giving me my life back. It took a while, but I can now feel again...the numbness has lifted, I can feel happiness again, and I have started to respect myself again as I have never been more determined to pay back the debt I incurred while gambling, and fix what I can, let go of what I cannot.

I have goals now. Paying off debt, save money, plan for retirement, spend all this new found time with my loved ones, spend time LIVING. I want to someday buy a beach house so when I am 70-something, I am NOT working 6 days a week, but instead we can drive to the beach house and I can enjoy it with my husband, that I thank God still have. I can now sit quietly at home without the television or laptop and just BE. There is peace in my soul, and I chose LIFE.

So, what would I recommend you do with your extra $100? Put it in a savings account and when you have enough, go on a cruise, or invest it in a yoga class, or SOMETHING other than gambling it away. You might as well set a $100 bill on fire and save on the gas money it would have taken driving to the casino.

What about what a 70-something can do? I'm not sure where you live, but I'm pretty sure there has to be another 70-something year old in town that has activities that are not gambling related. You cannot be the only one. Yoga, chess, book club, volunteering in a cause you believe in, there has to be something in town and if there is not...you can drive your 40 miles to a town that does have something...just NOT the casino. The choice is yours, you can choose to not gamble or gamble. In my book, the choice is to live, or not. I choose life.

@Focusnow- 138 of not thinking about Gambling! Yeah! It feels good to think of other things then that thing that controls our brain.

The days counted are the markers to not return, and when day one is started over again, it marks the day of not returning.

I am not trying to be picking on this day thing, but why count?
You have said you don't want to stop going to the casino.

I don't have a lot of "Friends" I know people.
My calendar count down now has the days I work out. Where I am suppose to be and what work out I am doing.
Face to face, I was done telling myself, I am depressed and don't have friends so I am going to do what makes me feel good. Gamble.
Good God that was a huge lie I was telling me.

I am not telling you to stop counting.
I am counting the days I am living and facing myself in the mirror and growing through this.

Thank you for that lengthy reply FocusNow. You are clearly trying to help me and others reading by telling us where us where you have come from, but your shoes do not fit me and you have never taken a step in mine.

First, let me say I did not go back to work at age 70 to (or because I) gamble. I was in a car crash with an uninsured, at fault driver. I won a lawsuit for damages then she filed bankruptcy to get out of paying me. That is when I had to go back to work after being retired (and volunteering) for 7 years.
(
It was unfair, and many many other unfair things have happened to me over the last three years that I went to the casino to escape from. I have no family, no non business related friends, no one to turn to and when I lost at the casino I hurt no one but myself.

I did not take time away from my children or a spouse or an elderly parent who needed my assistance. Shame on all of you who do that!!! Skip88 is right. You are all sick!

I won a lot of money when I first started playing. This was fun!! That and subsequent wins carried me through two and a half years before machines cooled at the times I was able to play. They do run in cycles, you know. I thought I could wait it out, but realized I was getting in too deep and had to quit playing at this casino. It is too convenient. Only a couple blocks from my work place and only 10 minutes from my home

I have learned a lot from reading this board. I know I do not want to be where some of you are, or even where I was 19 days ago. I have used this time to set some budget and financial goals. I will be back in control in only 5 days and ahead of the game at the end of the year and can take a 40 mile each way trip once a month to have some fun.

Perhaps some of the sick people here who want to get well can learn from my experience


I think it would be interesting to know why some of you even started gambling. Do you remember your first time?

My exact words were that compulsive gamblers are not what you called greedy but very sick.. Enough of this back and forth brain picking, Go lose your 100 and smoke like a chimney. My time and this site is to valuable to be used for bickering.

I do not like bickering either, skip88 but I do feel misunderstood.

I was not bickering. I truly wanted to know.
I thought I was going to learn something.

Don't worry I am not offended. .....

You asked a question about when we started gambling.

My mother died and I was sad and bored. I lived next door to her and I hated looking at her house and she was not there. I would
let myself into her house and sit in her closet and cry for hours. I would try to smell her. I was lost. I bought a different home, just to get away from the sorrow. The sorrow followed me. That is when I started going to the casino. I went before, but only spent what I took and most time came home with some money. A form of entertainment that didn't consume me. My sadness grew and my trips became more often. One day, I had sat at one machine for 8 hrs and had drank many beers. After drinking all day, I didn't think I should drive home. I would like to say this happen one time. Nope, it started becoming a regular thing and I became a regular visitor. I truly was embarrassed when I was recognized. I lied about where I was and how much I was losing. I won big and I lost big, most of all none of this brought my mom back to me and non of this made me feel better. I started fighting with my wonderful husband who I was lying to. I didn't know who I was and I hated me. I didn't trust me anymore. I am now paying for all my actions. I have got to dig myself out of a money mess and this will take some time.
Good news is, I don't dwell on the death of my mom.
What started me going to the casino? I was not dealing with reality. My reality is.... I have a lot to live for and it is not setting at a machine wasting my life. I have got to trust me again.

Makes sense to me, Marie. Like me, you began visiting the casino to escape.

I was fortunate (I think) to win enough in the beginning to keep playing until the last 6 months and I began questioning myself about the time and money I was spending.

I told myself I was "habi

Makes sense to me Marie. Like me you began playing to escape .

I was fortunate enough to win in the beginning and win enough along the way to keep playing until the last 6 months. It wasnt fun anymore. I began questioning myself about why I keep doing this to myself. Is It a just a habit or am I irrevocably addicted?

I found this site and came here to find out. I have confirmed for myself that I am a habitual player and not a gambling addict.

This is my 20th day without playing and do not miss i t at all. I have been to the smoke shop 3 times to buy cigarettes and not even peeked in the game room.

(I know if I attempt that I could go to jail for trespassing)

I am facing the issues I tried to escape from, and set recovery goals and told myself this morning that I have won $2000 this month by not playing.

I do miss social activity and will make that 40 mile trip with $100 of the money I have saved for a couple of hours of fun.but I will have to be home before dark.