Family Issues Support Group
Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.
ive been in a same sex relationship for 4 and half years. we are both on benefits because of mental illness,i'm borderline personality disorder my partner is bi polar. she does nothing to help me around the house and garden even if i ask for help she refuses saying i dont have to do housework . when she isnt in bed shes playing on her pc or watching tv.doesn't get dressed unless shes going out and personal hygiene i won't even go there. but we do love each other. i'm going to be inheriting a large some of money which means neither of us will get benefits .she keeps going on about losing her benefits,she doesn't want to be a kept woman etc etc. she wastes money on buying dvds ,old ones that has been out years .she spent 175 on dvds in a 3 week period. i have tried discussing with her that once we are living off my money that we have to cut down on things. like sky tv which is the biggest bill but she refused because it shows her favourite tv shows. basically she refuses to cut down on anything. now this is going to sound really mean of me but she has 6 neices and nephews two are 19 and 22 but she insists on giving them 20 each on birthdays and christmas plus 20 to her 3 sisters. this year because she didnt see her neices and nephews on their birthdays and just sent a card because its not safe posting cash she says she is giving them their birthday money along with their christmas money at christmas and i just can't see how we can afford to do that. my family is worried that she is going to spend my money like water. i could just cancel sky tv as its in my name but she would make my life hell if i did that. she has already been bankrupt not long before a met her and had her house repossessed. she told me when she had to give up work with bi polar she couldnt keep the payments up. but i was told recently she was once made redundant and instead of using it to get her mortage down she wasted the money. and i know when her house was about to be repossessed she spent what money she had got on new laptops for her then girlfriend and her girlfriends 2 teenagers and herself. this is my dilemma do i give her a allowance each week ? i dont want to be mean.
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Good Thursday to you!I've been watching a really long trial on Youtube these last couple of nights and will finish tomorrowHopefully I'll be in the land of nod soon and I hope my peeps are having sweet dreams followed by a great daySending hugs...xo
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Hey all, i know its been quite awhile since i posted on here. Its been a summer all right. Its been something else........... You know how they say not to open the can of worms? Well a few months ago i decided to find out what my due date would have been for my first baby, the one conceived by r***. My baby would have been due on March 4th of 2006. They would be 20 years old. I was R**** on June...
I also think she's using you as her meal ticket.
I also resent that someone who gets money from the government is wasting it like that... I know MANY bipolar people who can -- and want -- to keep a job and not leech from the system.
I'll be honest- she can't go through your money if you don't give her any... I'd tell her that this inheritance is YOUR money and you are no longer going to enable her by paying her part of any of your mutual bills. I'd also restructure the situation by putting her on a lease and canceling any luxury bills- like the TV and stuff.
This is NOT being mean! This is making the situation into an adult one instead of you being Mommy giving her stuff.
If she gets mad, then you know why she's really been "loving" you...
Hugs.
It doesn't sound like there is much give and take... If I were you I'd go on strike
Other than that, i gotta go along with others posting before me.
IMHO, she sounds like the kind of person to NOT be in a close relationship with, and i am wondering what your "love" is really based on. Kind of sounds like you've "settled" on ANY "relationship", rather than just "do you" and wait for Ms. Right over Ms Right Now.
Mebbe use this as the opportunity to get out while you still can. Once she is financially dependent on you, if you allow that to happen, your stress will compound, as will your resentment of her presence, but she will use the "guilt card' to entrap you longer.
Then you're really screwed.
Just from what you've written, it doesn't sound like true "long term, happy relationship" material, IMHO.
Gotta get out of quicksand fast, or you're sucked under and dead for good.
GL!
PS~ DeliAnnem, i like your new to my eyes avatar. :)