aladdin4d - thanks - I try not to pry into one's place of residence or whether they are the offender or family member. If the offender, and not allowed "computer" access - I don't want them violated for being here.

Life for the SO and family is hard enough without worrying about this site being used against them.

The PO can search the house.. but not the places such as
1.My bedroom or any personal room that I only use. I'm not on probation, my son is.
2.Any closet, drawer or anything that is closed off.

They could if we give them permission, or if they have a search warrant.

The cops are not allowed to search our house, without a search warrant.

My husband's PO and treatment provider were both excited that we have such groups, because they felt the support and info would help him know what he needed to do and help keep him accountable. Granted my hubby just told them it was a support group for families of SOs and not that there are SOs themselves in the group...but still.
I guess it's all in the mindset

Our son is still incarcerated and we don't know if he will be granted parole later this year or if he will accept it at this point.

But since I know what to expect from our probation officers and what they can and cannot do - we can better prepare ourselves and our home should our son be allowed to live with us.

faery,
I told the PO that it was for families of SOs as well. He still didn't seem to like it.

Nakohichi you have helped a lot of people by telling your story. The treatment center where my husband is at thinks the only people that can help him is that particular treatment center. They love the money we give them even though we have good insurance they want our cash. It is nice taking cash with less paperwork through insurance company's. They have it made. His PO I call the PO from hell that enjoys pushing his buttons whenever she can. It's called power. Where I live they like putting young women in charge to bully those on probation. This has gone on ten long years after five years in prison. It's not Florida but getting there.

@jackiecook,
I agree. Better evaluations are needed! Although there is a lot of research and professional work going on, it is mostly on the treatment and law enforcement end of things. Unfortunately, it is still a career-ender for many academics to study sex offense. But that is why this area of study is so behind the curve and we have something as heinous as a sex offender registry being declared by the SCOTUS as not being "punishment."

The background research for the evaluations needed to effectively determine sex offender risk should have been done a long time ago. But, because of the strong stigma in academia against studying this topic, the people who were interested in doing it for the most part were shunned.

When you think of all the sophistication there is now to studying things like neuroscience, for example, you would think that something as important as understanding offensive sexual behaviors would have gotten a whole lot more attention. But, no. There is some basic science, but for the most part, the study of sex offense is in the Stone Age compared to areas like neuroscience. That's why you get states depending on such obviously deficit evaluations (like the Static-99) to evaluate risk.

Of course you can't tell who is really at risk to re-offend if you use the wrong tools to assess it! Most people don't realize that declarations about an individual sex offender's level of risk is often made on totally flimsy foundations, like Nako has pointed out.

But, you know, beyond that point, the ultimate issue is that the lack of substantive study of sex offense in the '80's and '90's is what allowed it to become such a political football today. Because the science was so sketchy, people could declare whatever they wanted and get away with it.

I remember when I first got caught up in this 3 years ago, there were still a lot of politicians and websites declaring the "FACT" that sex offenders reoffended at rates of 70-90%. You rarely hear that now because it has been thoroughly debunked, but many people still THINK that is true. It takes a lot to change a mindset like that, especially when it has been built on fear.

I wish more was known about the link b/t/w Autism and CP. I have struggled for years w/ my family member, knowing full well something wasn't connecting properly. The counselor who is running the program where he is currently incarcerated thinks there's NO such thing!

This is a PUBLIC Site... if he wanted to google "Support for sex offenders families" I am guessing that this would pop up in the first 20, shit I just tested it and it was in the top 10. Telling him isn't going to hurt you, depending, I would be vague and make them search a little. But if you try to tell him that it is private and then they find it and it isn't they will wonder what else you lie about.

Supervision is a frustrating venture for all that must endure it. For those of us with civil rights, it seems unbelievably harsh. For those of us that have falsely accused people on it, it is like being stabbed over and over. For those of you that were over sentenced and over charged, it is the same.

I get nervous for the people that aren't the offender talking about fighting/battling with a PO, first because it isn't their life they are playing with, it is their loved one's. The only person that is going to pay any consequences is the offender that is on supervision. Because supervised release is just that, release contingent that supervision continues as it would have in prison, it is arrogant to assume that a loved one is going to make an impact on the PO on the behalf of the offender.

I hated the idea that someone with so little education and so little common sense would have such power over my husband. I loathed the fact that they could at anytime deem me a 'bad influence' and have him 'removed' from our home and forced to live somewhere else. These are the consequences that I faced if/when I chose to fight any of the POs that my husband has had. Granted I have never been forced to do anything drastic, but I also didn't push the issue KNOWING that the first 6 months they are going to be total pricks to both me and him, treating him like some crazed criminal that could never be trusted again by anyone. I knew this because it was WI DCC (Department of Community Corrections) policy manual on how they dealt with SOs. That which was not in the manual as 'the way it will go' were optional in the manual, such as the electronic bracelet and the GPS monitoring. They are both options for the PO to use as ways of keeping track of their charges/offenders.

Nak, because you are being so vocal is the reason he is being so curious about it and it is only a google search away too. That is why I urge you to get your hands on the manual that is being used currently in the Fed system for supervising released offenders. There will probably be one for regular offenders and one for those that commit sex offenses.

The most valuable information I received before my hubby came home was, the PO is GOD, yeah it is not fair, it is not right, it is unlawful, it is not therapeutic and it won't help reintegrate an offender back into the community. But because they hold the power to put your loved one back in prison for the rest of their sentence, hold them on a PO hold for probably up to 45 days without putting them back in prison, messing with the job they struggled to get etc... The cost of the fight vs the reward of just playing the game, picking the appropriate battles, and being assertive but not aggressive with them will get you further than trying to shoulder your way through it regardless of how pissed off the PO makes you. Unless your son is ready to serve out the remainder of his sentence in prison, you might want to consider taking it easy on the PO and seeing how things pan out.

You keep saying that the PO doesn't know him and I can say that the PO hasn't had time to get to know him or you yet either. And you only get one time to make a great first impression... Sometimes you don't want them to know that you know how to battle, sometimes it is far better that way.

I took the approach to see what they were going to give him freely. It took us about 8 months to get his internet rights back and his crime had NOTHING to do with the internet AT ALL. He had to pass a polygraph and a 6 month evaluation. The privileges that you seek for him are looked at as just that, privileges not rights or needs. I know it seems like giving up, but it isn't, playing the game by their rules keeps your son out of prison and in your life. It helps him progress and learn to deal with people and entities that are like the BOP and DOC (many companies are run in similar manners, they also have huge turnover too) Getting that manual will help you learn how to fight their decisions in the acceptable manner that will be recognized by the BOP and DOC that you deal with.... It creates diplomatic skills that are usually harder to come by these times of instant gratification.

I have not said much regarding this PO situation as I never had any experience with a PO. But I did have many, many experiences with COs, case managers, and staff in prison and I would think that situation would be similar to you and your son's situation with this PO.

There are two types of people in prison and this probably applies to parolees and probationers: 1) those that are full of piss and vinegar who want to assert their point of view and challenge the system. These people have a very tough time. and 2) those that learn to play the game. They survive and even thrive in prison or any kind of custodial situation.

If a person wants to "show the PO that I am not about to allow him to run over me," and if that person is always wanting to contest what the case manager wants (or as in your case, the PO), then he has to be prepared when he gets sent to lockup for a period of time or lost a lot of his good time. That was his decision. He could do five years on a five year sentence or he could do two years on a five year sentence.

Which would you, as his mother, rather have him do? I know your son is out of prison and under the control of a PO, but the principal is much the same as what I saw in prison.

I always thought it was borderline stupid to do the five years on a five year sentence when an inmate could have been out three years earlier. There was no reason to allow the DOC or the BOP to take three years of his life. After all, it is your son's life and the BOP could care less what happens to him.

You might win a couple of battles with this PO, but trust me, you will never win the war. You are playing HIS game, in HIS park, by HIS rules, and HE is the referee. Who do you think will ultimately prevail here? The PO will send your son back to prison in a heartbeat.

I understand that you cannot allow the PO to violate all your son's civil rights, but right now your son does not have the civil rights protection that a normal citizen enjoys. Unless the PO is treating your son with some egregious conduct such as putting his hands on your son, then you will be better served to try to get along with the PO. Yes, he is an ass, and yes, he is unreasonable, but he has your son's fate in his hands right now.

Sometimes when it seems as if we have lost, we have really won.

Here is the secret: go along with the PO (within reason), and even if it makes your son madder than hell, just act like it does not bother him and just allow it to run off his back. Don't allow him to get your goat. But your son should also develop the mindset that he does not really care if he has to do what the PO tells him to do and that he should just play along.

If your son plays along, then HE has won the game. Your PO may think otherwise, but your son will have prevailed. I think you and your son's major goal is to stay out of prison. If he does that, then yes, he has won the game.

What real difference does it make if your son plays the game well enough to attend the sex offender treatment? Really, what difference does it make? Your son knows he is not guilty of downloading any CP on purpose, you know that, most of the posters believe you, so what difference does it make if the PO thinks he is guilty? What does he know about the crime anyway? He only knows what he has read in the reports.

Who cares what an uneducated, power hungry bully like a PO, thinks? Let him THINK that he is winning the game by showing his authority. Let him think he is going a great job. Who is he anyway? A DOC or BOP employee who is uneducated and working for the DOC or BOP for just above minimum wage? After this probationary period, your son will most likely every see this guy again.

What difference does it make if the PO does not believe that the download was an accident? Who cares about his personal opinion as long as your son makes it through the treatment phase? I can tell you right now that the PO probably does not believe it was a complete accident anyway, so it is not a case in which you will change his mind. No matter what he tells you, he most likely believes what the reports say.

When dealing with these POs, COs, or case managers, you have to make them think they are half-way intelligent, make them think that you respect them, and make them think that they are doing a good job and making the right decisions. Even though you know that they are probably uneducated, incompetent, and beneath you and your son, you have to learn to "play the game."

You could push the envelope with the PO, but you will lose. What point are you trying to prove? Really?

Pushing too hard on him will cause nothing but more trouble for your son. First, it can cause the PO to make his life a living hell during his probationary period, and secondly, he could revoke him and send him back to prison.

You can hire all the Perry Mason's and Matlocks in this world and unless it is some kind of major violation, nothing will change except you will be poorer. And when you have an attorney challenge the PO, it only makes the PO more angry toward you and your son and he will take that anger out on your son. Who really wins in that scenario?

Nobody in the history of this country has ever outmuscled the DOC or the BOP. But many inmates have outthought them.

Just think about what I just said. Sometimes we have to allow the other side to win a few battles so we can win the war.

rewdiazepam

Nako,
PO's can only look for things in "plain sight". When in common areas, they can not rifle through magazines, look in drawers, etc. Technically, they can't do that in your son's bedroom.
As an aside, two of my three POs in three years are supervisors in Philly. I found the list and now I can't find it again!

Rew: manual that is being used currently in the Fed system for supervising released offenders. There will probably be one for regular offenders and one for those that commit sex offenses

Where do I get these? I don't want to call the PO's office. My son is not being vocal with the PO.. my son is pretty quiet shy guy. The PO was surprised when the therapist I picked is someone he knows.

As far as wanting the internet.. that's something the PO wants. Not my son. We're pretty laid back, except for the SO Treatment. A little ruffling of the feathers is something we're willing to deal with if my son doesn't have to take treatment.

What difference does it make if my son has to take sex offender treatment or not? It makes a lot of difference.

If the federal judges says he's not to take it, and our lawyer gets that confirmation here in PA with the federal judge why would it be bad for the PO to go along with this. After all, he's not the judge. He works for the judicial system. He would actually be in contempt if he did not follow the judges rule. He might not like it, but if it's clarified to the point where it's very clear, I don't see the issue here.

For my son to shut up and take treatment after we worked so hard to get him off.. It's not your son lined up for this. Maybe if your son were in this position you might not think it was a big difference.

We're not going to piss off the PO.. I fired that lawyer who called his office last week. My son Is going to treatment tomorrow.. but if we can change that we will.