Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I know i'm lucky.. I got diagnosed this year, which is really early on. but why is it that I can't be happy? I keep uping my meds and it works for a couple of days to a week. but it fades and i'm back to hurting. I feel hopeless and so alone. why me? why is it that no matter how hard I try I can't be happy I'm trying so hard. I really am. But i keep thinking and thinking.. I feel like such a failure to me and my parents. I've managed to lose myself and I can't find me anymore. The worst part is that It's on me. I have nothing to blame it on anymore..it's just me. I cut again for the first time in a long time.. and the worst part is that I liked it. I'm so miserable and I can't seem to help myself. My parents have tried so hard..and i can't get better. Which makes it worse because I feel like it"s all my fault..and maybe it is. I feel so alone..and lost. My future seems...blank right now..I'm strong I know I am. I can keep fighting all the pain and urges to cut. I can fight all of it. but i'm so tired. I really wanna rest now, why can't I be okay enough to rest? I don't wanna fight anymore. I really don't...I'm alone and lost....I don't know what to do anymore..
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I invited Bill to have dinner with me last Sunday. He wasn't willing to drive 7 hours to mid Michigan and teased me with his beautiful ribs!!! So, of course I ate alone and had cedar salmon
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check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
I never understand cutters....I was suicidal before and that thought of cutting did not appeal to me....I ODed a couple times on purpose.....but still living many many years since those attempts....
I hope you are able to get some kind of help from P-doc...meds is a hard to do thing when it is mental health unless you find a silver bullet like I did for my schizophrenia.....I have been taking same drug since 1982 for that and my remission has been excellent....it can happen....keep trying to find the silver bullet drug that makes everything normal again....
i've struggled with depression on and off since my teen years. i didn't really realize till my 30's that it was so bad... i started a journey inside... church for a while, then meditation and reading lots of books to encourage me. i also found my "tribe" of women who were like me... friends..mentors.
do you have a friend or support network? somewhere you feel you fit in? is there anything that does help you feel better besides cutting?
you're not a failure. it's not your fault. the REAL you (spirit, consciousness) is perfect. divine. you are a beautiful soul... emotionally, you're struggling, but it won't always be that way. life is a roller coaster ride, for sure..but i can say from experience there can be more up times than down times... keep learning tools to manage symtpoms. keep reaching out. do some digging inside via meditation or just sitting in silence... peace comes from WITHIN. go within daily. helps me most days...
know that you are perfect and loved right where you are. i mean that. you're worthy. lovable. loved.
hope to hear back from you.
hugs.
Have you heard of Teal Swan? I have been listening to some of her youtube videos and maybe you will find some useful. This one seems fitting to your current struggles
https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=983&v=FQEGv9hkJtQ&feature=emb_title