In my opinion, it is not so much that he is married but that he is in a VERY confusing time in his life. I don't think he could have his feet planted firmly on the ground .. so to speak.

Generally speaking, I think he is a 'bad gamble' for you.

If this man has filed for divorce, then he seems serious about ending his marriage. Sure, rebound relationships are a concern, but what is your heart telling you? Do you feel that his love is real? (for you)

Listen to your gut and to your heart. If you proceed, do so with caution. I hope things work out the way you want them to.

Keeping it very simple, OK?

Aw, HELL NAW!! Don't mess with a married man.

When he's truly available, if the interest is still there, that would be be a better time to check him out.

I would not touch any married man with anybody elses.....you get the point.

Honestly, not a good idea.

You are both very vulnerable right now. I would take things very slow and very cautiously. If he is a 'great guy,' this will not be an issue for him. If he is not, then you are better off waiting for someone who is.

Whether we are men or women, we tend to equate being in a relationship with being happy. It really isn't so. It is just a mask and a distraction unless it is the RIGHT relationship and even then it can't cure your depression, just make it a little easier to cope at times.

I kind of agree with smileybear...If he has true intentions then he can wait till hes really single again. I'm also concerned with his answer about living in the moment. What does that mean? Maybe make it clear that you are looking for a exclusive relationship and offer a ultimatum. I think us girls need to look out for our feelings more. You need to always know for sure what kind of relationship you are entering into first, otherwise you may just be setting yourself up for heart break :(

HUGS

Thank you all for responding. I am trying to figure out what is best for me. I know that he is in a very complicated position right now. He's pretty messed up emotionally from what happened with his wife. Deep down I'm worried. I like him a lot and he seems to like me but sometimes I feel like he's just interested in getting me in bed. However he keeps telling me he would like to see where this goes. I do have an issue with him still being married. It feels wrong in the moral sense. Him telling me to see where it goes,have no expectations and that he lives in the moment tells me he does not want an exclusive relationship and that does hurt.

OMG, I was in this situation not too long ago. I promise you, YOU DO NOT WANT TO DEAL WITH IT
This guy has unresolved relationship issues right now. If anything, it is best to wait for him to resolve his past relationship before assuming he's ready for a new one.
The drama involved will be VERY hard to deal with. It will be especially taxing since you are trying to overcome so much in your own life right now. This is just another weight on your shoulders that isn't necessary.
I understand the loneliness involved with being single, but don't let it drive you into something complicated like this. Whether either of you like it or not, that other woman is still in the picture.

"all he tells me is that if it happens, it happens. He says that he lives in the moment and it will happen if it is meant to" - classic sign of a bullsh!tter and is giving you false hope, merely luring you in to SOMETHING. I don't know his plans for you, but they are NOT serious. That much I can tell you for sure.

If he meant it to be serious, he wouldn't approach it in such a light manner, especially since this is a serious situation. He is clearly letting you know that for now he wants this to be "no strings attached" .
My suggestion? Run. You don't need his games or the petty drama

My ears would not hear a single "poor me" word a married man has to say.

I have lived too long to be suckered in by that.

Divorced, 45...Words of wisdom, Young Lady....leave married men to deal with their wives. I don't care if they are young, old, handsome, rich....nare ya business. Just look at any married man as OFF LIMITS.

Decency.

A lot of shit can happen during a divorce. Like...they get back together.

He may think he's over her. Until...he's not.

You don't need this. If it's truly supposed to happen, it will. AFTER all papers have been filed, they've been living apart for a while. It can takes years to get over a relationship, and as much as this guy may think that he is, he probably is not.

Be his friend (if that's possible) and keep in touch...if he's really a decent guy, he should have no problem with this if you explain your feelings.

Best wishes.

Can you wait until he is single. My mom was with a married man who kept saying he was leaving his wife , but he never did. It was only try to my mom.
If you do stay with him please be careful.

"I have tried to talk to him about us possibly being something exclusive and all he tells me is that if it happens, it happens. He says that he lives in the moment and it will happen if it is meant to."

"If it happens, it happens" means I'm going to string you along for sex. If you don't have sex with me, no big deal, I'll find someone else. But, so far, you're all I got right now.

"I live in the moment" means I'm not serious with you, and frankly, I'm enjoying not being tied down and don't know if I ever want to be "exclusive" again. Because, that was hell! Take into consideration how long he's been without another woman besides his wife, and you are the first out the gate. Take into consideration that he only tells you what you want to hear. I thought there was a grey area here, but there isn't. It's the norm.

How long have you been talking to this guy?

I would just be careful. Don't look at the relationship through rose colored glasses, and take care of yourself.

Thank you all for the advice. We have been talking a couple months now. I had a lot of thoughts going through my head about this and my gut feeling tells me that he is saying a lot of bs. I will be having a serious conversation with him tonight. I had been worried to because I didn't want him to just leave me. Any time I want to talk about it he gets defensive and tells me that he is different than other guys and that I can trust him. We have been out a few times and the times I don't see him he's texting and asking for pictures. Am I wrong to feel there are a lot of red flags with him? He keeps telling me how wrong I am about him.

Go with your gut feelings.....period.

Good luck!

I just wish you the best with what ever happens here.. I have not had good luck in relationships as I thought with my heart and not my head... I wish you the best....