I'm going out on a limb here saying no one is going to respond that they are in favor of forced marriage but I hope your day and year gets better.

Why do you have to pretend? If it's forced, it's forced. It is what it is. No one's happy about that except for your mom.

Forced is forced.

I'd be totally honest about it. I'd tell her, "Look my mom's making me do this. I have no desire to get married." Is that illegal?

I will really try to be honest cuz if my mum found out that i told her she might abuse me

Jeez, I did not know that Ireland was like this. I'm so sorry.

I wish there was something I could say to help. I wonder if there are other people in your situation that you can talk to.

oh no NOT AT ALL its not ireland i only study in ireland, my parents are in a different country

Viral, Seek out legal help so you will know what your options are.

Remember that the truth may hurt a little, but a lie hurts a lot worse. Be honest with the girl. It's her life, too.

What is your culture? I would suspect you ate from India or Japan or perhaps Judaism maybe but if you are looking for a way out of your culture and its methods of match making...I would simply refuse to be married unless it is consenting on both parts. What is the repercussion for not getting married ? It really does depend on where you live so use the law to back you up on this and what I mean is if you are in a place where the law says there needs to be consent to be married then use this. Your mother may be upset with you but use the law to help you if at all possible.

How can your mom hurt you if you are in different countries? I think you need to break this cycle of abuse. I highly recommend reading some book on boundaries. It really doesn't matter what has been done in the past, you are living in a free country in a different part of the world.

You know you do not want to marry this girl. You know it will be a disaster. So why are you not charting your own future? My dad got controlling at 17, and I left home. Or are you worried about the money pipeline drying up? Or getting cut out of the will?

Fact is - it is their money, but your life. You may lose their money, but find a better, happier way to live. Think carefully about the point of school being to earn a living. If you are a writer, you will have your own income. I think it is better to live on the streets, personally than to be in a loveless, forced marriage. Even my controlling father never tried that one on me!

Stand firm and post on Facebook as as OMB suggested. The day and age of such things has long since past. If you can this independence it will do wonders for your self esteem. And my suggestion one up Facebook. Publicly out your mother and her despicable ways to any publication that would listen. Launch an offensive against this tyranny and rally forces that I am sure would be itching to help you fight for this cause. Take this very question and our responses to a human rights group on line . The help you want and need is within your grasp. You must rally the will to get that help. If you do copy this please be sure you copy my response as well . The evil of such draconian cultural practices is coming to an end. I stand with you and will support you as I am able by publicly expressing justifiable outrage that such EVIL is still allowed to exist. You have support here and finding it elsewhere should be just as easy. Like I said before stand firm.

Viral here's a link to a group like what I am taliking about. Help is out there you just have to go after it.

http://www.stopforcedmarriages.org/images/logo.jpg

Viral, if you are in Ireland on a student or tourist visa, now might be the time to check into immigration and permanent citizenship.

The first link is just a jpg file . Here try this ...

http://www.stopforcedmarriages.org/index.php?menu_id=79&exmenu..

You are currently studying in another country away from your mother. You have the power in this situation. Use it. Do not marry someone you do not love. You'll be ruining two lives.