If your on medication for depression, you shouldn't be "choosing to take it or not". When you start psych meds, it takes a while for them to affect your brain chemistry and help, when you start not taking them on and off, everything gets thrown out of whack and your depression can actually get worse. Then when you decide if/when to take them as prescribed again they may not work the same and you may need a different medication. Psych meds are pretty complicated medications and are not designed to be used off and on whenever you want.

You don't seem crazy, perhaps you should call your Therapist and see if she can see you sooner than the 4th.

The 4th is a long time to wait! Can you see your therapist more often? Is there somewhere else you can go for help?

Hang in there friend *hugs* Listen to music. Go on walks. Dance around the room. Write positive thoughts even if you don't believe them. Definitely take your meds, if they bother you, talk to your doc about it.

Much love to you--you can do this!

His schedule dosnt work with mine so I can’t get in til the 4th :(

Just watch this video: "Insight Into Depression - Sadhguru" on youtube, He is such a kind heart, you are gonna love him.

It’s just when I start to spiral I feel like I loose all control over what I do . Luckly I haven’t really done anything bad other then wripping my skin open with my fingers then not letting it heal :/

Hi music girl,
I’m sorry you are going through this. Please don’t hurt yourself. Talk to us, we are here for you and willing to listen.

If your therapist is not available until the 4th, maybe you can try to call him/her or talk to the nurse about your medication. For the meantime, you can also talk to your Pastor or any spiritual leaders and ask them for counselling. I hope you can get the help you need and you will remain hopeful. You are in my prayers. God bless.

So sorry you're having to wait to see your doctor, that has to be frustrating! Its hard to find your way out when you're in the downward spiral. Try to focus on the good and what brings you happiness. Is there something at work that triggers it? I completely understand feeling like you have no control, and sometimes it is true. Some times you have to go through it to feel better. I like to laugh when it's been a rough day so I'll watch stand up specials on Netflix, Jim Gaffigan and Iliza Shlesinger are some of my favorites.

Hope you're having an easier day today. Here if you need to talk -hugs-

Honestly the only thing that brings happiness is playing my instruments . But lately my head won’t let me play in my spare time cause all it wants is me to be misserable it’s like it takes total control of me . Once again I had another ok day survived sightreeding a pit book but I’m still crabby :(

Can you call and leave a message for your therapist and see if they can talk to you sooner? Also, I know you are off and on about taking your meds, but I would still strongly suggest that you take them as directed by your doctor. It will ultimately help your mood, and just help how you feel each day.

I guess I could text them and ask for advice