I am sorry you feel this way. I often dont find beauty in myself but we all do have it. I really feel working on you is the best start. Also look at your accomplishments like a job. We are all a work in progress and its a process.

Hmmm. Sure, I get it. Self-esteem can't be wrapped up in money or anything external, although we need money to survive and material comforts are nice.

I find self-love and self-beauty through taking time to create something beautiful outside of myself, even if the creation doesn't bring in any money. i take pretty pictures and mix music. It helps me see the beautiful emotional core in things.

I also find self-love and self-beauty through physical exercise. It really helps! Exercise works from the outside in and from the inside out! Strength, forged through physical exertion and sweat, for me, helps create self-love and a sense of pride in whatever beauty I may possess! Strength, forged through physical exertion and sweat also helps foster flexibility and a sense of humor, some of life's greatest survival techniques.

thanks, everyone tells me such as my friends and family that I need to love myself but I always ask them why is it so important. I guess I dont get it and I guess it's preventing me from finding love. Is there any good books on self esteem or self love? I guess I do need to appreciate my accomplishments such as getting a job and went back to school. I feel there is something missing though and I feel that I'm not making enough money.

Sometimes I wish my life would have turned out different, my mom says I'm still young enough it may turn around.

My self esteem took a beating with the onset of my illness ten years ago. Lost my marriage, my career, my money, my friends, my appearance.

Not to sound religious, but honestly my faith really did help.

Another biggie has been feedback from other people, albeit slow in coming, it's made a difference at how I view myself. My ex husband said, despite everything, he thinks I'm the most decent person he's ever known and he has a lot of respect for the fact I keep picking myself up after every episode. My sister-in-law and some other loved ones have mentioned how "funny" I am.

I rather be a funny decent person than a wealthy attractive person. I dunno, I value those attributes more in others as well as in myself. Self love is a bit of a journey - you have to take it one day at a time.

Maybe the issue isn't making more money, but having more FUN, laughing more, getting more and deeper enjoyment OUT OF life, socialization, relationships, a job, nature, etc.

The feeling of failure is what depression makes you feel. Try avoid this feeling, of course it's not easy. Try not not focus too much on the bad things.

For example the looks - I felt like I never can have someone to love me because of my looks and I really did not for many years. But its been like that because I believed it thanks to depression. Now I am with a girl who is super beautiful (it's not the most important thing). Things feel that bad because you are too focused on them. Try to straighten up, put a smile on your face - even force yourself to. I know it's not easy, but it can be done.

Good luck!