Hi guys, so I'm dealing with a breakup, which is the primary source of my depression... but with everything else going on these days and a bunch of different factors occuring in my life right now, I'm feeling super low and isolated. Like lower than I ever have before. Every day feels mundane and boring and I spend a lot of my time obsessing on my phone, which I know is not healthy. My work has changed quite a bit since Covid started with hours being cut back a bit. I'm lucky to still be employed, but I'm feeling restless. I work alone, which never bothered me before when I was in (what I thought was) a happy relationship and going out and about with things opened up and more "normal." Now I feel alone day and night, and my social circle has gotten much smaller due to Covid and the feeling of being isolated from the rest of my family that lives far away. Every day I feel worthless and like a loser because I don't really have anyone to lean on in life anymore. It's hard having a small family to begin with, let alone when you live a long way away from them and don't have a strong support network close by. As much as I love the area I live now, I have to think that if I'd known my boyfriend was going to break up with me a few months before Covid hit, and Covid itself would happen, I probably never would have moved.

Anyway, I'm wondering how people get through their day feeling low like this, I don't sleep well at night at all (I fall asleep just fine but I can't stay asleep for more than a couple of hours). I don't know how I haven't messed up by now at my job. I'm trying to stay as social as I can with a group I meet up with and exercise with outside a couple of times a week, but even that's getting uninteresting to me. They're really only acquaintances and not much by way of relationships have come out of it, but I am grateful for the socialization it brings each week. Everyone but me seems so busy with their own families right now, I feel like I'm on the outside looking in to everyone else's lives now as the world goes by. I've been trying to look into low-cost therapy in my area, but it's almost impossible to find and I'm not a huge fan of Zoom, I'd rather be in person talking. It's one of those times where I feel like everything is falling apart and I have absolutely nothing going for me. It's hard when the one person you cared about most in life literally barely talks to you at all anymore and has totally moved on. I can't understand it. Can anyone else relate, or have any helpful suggestions to bring me up and out of this funk? Thanks for listening!