Depression Support Group

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Full of Regret

Uniquelyme1993
Uniquelyme1993

I had a really good guy. He helped me with my depression and anxiety. He was also very sweet and caring. But he was spending a lot of time with his ex girlfriend. He told me they were good friends, which I understood. I didn't mind them hanging out, but it started to make me feel insecure about myself. 



I also became very jealous of her. Compared myself to her, then realized it's very unhealthy to compare yourself to others. We all have a great uniqueness about ourselves.



I kept pushing him away, telling him he should try to work things out with her. She was the one who ended the relationship, so I immediately thought he was still in love with her. I'm so confused. Now we're broken up for good because I kept ending things, thinking he was cheating with his ex girlfriend. I'm so depressed and I wish there was a way we could be together again.



Thor2008
Thor2008
I don't know what to say. It is often hard to see the value of what we have when we have it and are most often quick to discard what we value most. It will take some healing to start to feel better. Stupid question, any chance of reversing this situation?
Uniquelyme1993
Uniquelyme1993
Thor2008,
I told him I needed a month to heal before I see him again because he told me he still wants to be friends. But I want more than friendship so I can't bare to be around him right now
Scaredandafraid
Scaredandafraid
I have been on the other side of your problem before. My wife and i separated and i was seeing someone and she hated the fact we got along. My wife is my best friend and we have kids together but the other girl couldn't stand it. It actually ended us as well and it want about being in love or cheating. If we assume the worst in every situation, the worst will usually happen. If he was doing it behind your back and sacrificing time with you for her them i understand but you have to give the benefit of the doubt
Restful
Restful
Personally, my opinion is that he should have respected the relationship he had with you enough to stop spending time with his ex. I can understand your side, and it is not fair for him to stay so connected with someone he was just recently romantically involved with. I think that would make anyone insecure, so don’t be hard on yourself.
GirlinCalif
GirlinCalif
You have to trust your gut instinct. You had reasons to believe he was still at least seeing his ex girlfriend it seems. Maybe they were doing more than just being friends. Why were they hanging out so often right after supposedly breaking up?? He obviously was not in a place in his life to have a relationship with anyone else. This isn't your fault at all. You did the right thing. It would have only gotten worse with him+her. You don't need that kind of stress and drama in your life.

Look around for a new guy, one that is not still hung up on his ex.
Apoe
Apoe
I agree that you can be cool with your ex but not spending time together. I think ex’s are to be ex’s for a reason. Like when they see each other out Somewhere then cool so hi but not hanging out. If he knew you felt comfortable he would of understood that he didn’t need to be cool with his ex in the way it made you uncomfortable. I
boldeagle27
boldeagle27
Always a tough situation when there is an ex involved. Sounds like the ex will always be a part of their life which doesn't mean necessarily that they have romantic feelings but they will always be there. You have to be realistic and decide I you are able to deal with or not, if so then you can have a relationship with them if not then you have to move on.
RiSober
RiSober
Let him be, let him go. Restful and others, above, are exactly right: Don't be so hard on yourself. If he was in an intimate relationship with you, he had no business hanging out with her. I babysit at times with my ex, but I am 70 years old (yes, half a century older than you) and we have two adult sons and three little grandchildren in common. You will find someone else to love, someone who helps make you feel better about being you.
Esther2259
Esther2259
Hi there,

You know, I believe, that sometimes people are in our lives for a reason and a season. It sounds like this man was in your life when you needed him, and now you are continuing to move forward. I think it is important to trust your instincts, as you have stated in how you feel.

When people in my life change and I feel that I have lost a friend or loved one, I’ve found it helpful to start praying for the Lord to bring other people into my life to fill that void. I also go to work on trying to make sure that I keep focused on the right priorities. I love that we can read the Bible and learn so much from Biblical history and Jesus’ example.

I pray that you are encouraged today and that the Lord fills that void that you are feeling, with much joy and happiness.
Uniquelyme1993
Uniquelyme1993
Thank you all so much for your uplifting words.

He and I haven't talked in a week. I don't feel good about it, but I also don't feel bad
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