>>it's to late

Never too late.

>>feel so distant from God lately,

He is all'round you. Talk to Him.

He MIGHT tell you to confer with a DOCTOR and get effective treatment for depression.

It is not easy. Study say to be happy is to have close relationships. But it is hard to find, Study say to be happy is to have enough sex and sleep. Most people do not get enough sex. Mental illness will not go alway. Try to find something to make you feel better.

First about small jobs. They did a study of janitors and many were unhappy. But one, worked at a hospital and said it was important that when family members came, that the area was clean and attractive and he was right. Whatever, your job is, doing it well adds to society and be careful as a religious person, with putting too much emphasis in prestige, etc.

There was a lawyer in my state, one of the most prominent ones heading one of the largest firms who died. My mom came up to his wife and expressed condolence saying I am sorry for your loss. Don't she said, he was a miserable human being, I found out about two girlfriends and because of his free-spending left his family relatively little. His clients and prestige would go and his legacy would likely be the unhappiness of his wife. In contrast, there are many people with regular jobs who spread a kind word, give a smile, do a little more and make our world better.

@ Peter, perhaps a close relationship with God is the secret to happiness...

Thank you for sharing. Anti-Depressants do have a numbing effect. It is thought that feel numb is better then feeling miserable. This is true, until one has to live with feeling numb. This is why sometimes secondary medication is needed to offset the numbness. Definitely talk that over with your Doctor.

Moses waited till he was 80 to receive his calling. The Lord Jesus waited till His thirties to go out and spread The Word. He was most likely spreading The Word before that, but it is when He started to gather The Disciples together and lay the foundation of The Church.

Shame pulls us away from Who we love the most. You have nothing to be ashamed of. God loves us warts and all. He can use any as His Hands And Feet too. The waiting is the hardest part, but you are waiting for something great. In the meantime, you can live your life as godly as possible. That can be a wonderful testimony wherever you are. You are in my prayers. I hope this was of any help. God Bless.

I can relate!

Well, I think that what you need to do is to keep trying and fighting to be happy. It is not easy at all, I know. But, we need to go on. So, think of the things that you always wanted to achieve since you were a little kid. I think there are still some you can achieve and it is not too late. Work on achieving them. I know some wishes could not be achieved because of aging, but some wishes are still possible to make true!

I don't mean to sound like a jerk, and I apologize if I do, but, in my opinion, religion is your problem. I was raised as a christian, and I found about 7 years ago that it does me no good, that there's no room for religion in my life. When I was younger, I hated all the rules and restrictions that come with religion. I realize that may sound childish, but, since leaving religion, I'm definitely happier. Still not terribly happy, but I'm enjoying my freedom. I don't believe in heaven, nor hell, so I've no concern about anything happening to me after death. In regards to your feeling of being "old and useless", I, unfortunately, and right there with you. I understand. I'm 28 with no college education, working a very unsatisfying and unremarkable job. I often feel like I've wasted too much time, that I've waited too long to get my life in order. However, I recently started therapy and began to incorporate CBT and DBT into my daily life and, while I've only made a small amount of progress so far, I already feel better about myself, my life, and my future. That's not to say that it's gotten easy, but it has gotten easier. So, that is my recommendation. Seek counseling, and learn and utilize CBT and DBT. I wish you luck, and I look forward to hopefully seeing you improving in the near future.

@BeautyFoundWithin, Sorry you're having a hard time. Maybe the antidepressants are sapping the life out of you and numbing your feelings. You say you "feel" so distant from God lately. Feelings can lie to us.

Trust what you know. God loves you. He cares for you. He knows what you are going through. He is working all things out for your good. He desires to have a relationship with you and to be your closest companion. I agree with a previous post about Moses and others who got late starts in life.

I was raised in church, baptized at 12, attended regularly. But it wasn't until I was 28 that I got serious about my relationship with God. I began to have a daily time of studying my Bible, praying, etc. There are a lot of good resources available for Bible study. Check out Ligonier ministries or Insight for Living. Also, we grow in groups. Call every church in your area until you find a women's Bible study. Saying a prayer for you. It is not too late.

We often turn to God in our LATER years .... it took me about 64 of 'em.

Buddhist thought has been very helpful to me. I still believe in God, but Buddhism offers much more direction on a spiritual side of life. meditation is really helpful, pulling your energy into yourself, and coming to different conclusions about life, I'm not always practicing as I should be, but I do try to keep this in my life because it has helped me far more that Christianity alone.