Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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Dad's diagnosis... not good

BrooklynnMB
BrooklynnMB

Hi all,



My dad was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer on March 11th. He started chemo March 19th. They are giving him 3-11 months to live.  I am so sad.  We are very close. We both have been dealing with depression also for years.  Mine is pretty well managed,  my dad's is not.  He's been very depressed for 3 years now, he's tried to fight it but hasn't been very successful,  and now this only makes things worse. 


I'm also scared because I'm an ICU nurse and not only do I know about this type of cancer, but I'm also scared due to this COVID-19 pandemic.  I don't want to spread anything to him, but I also want to spend time with him.  My manager and my dad's oncologist are working on making me exempt from taking care of patients with suspected or confirmed COVID-19.  Until then I have asked the charge nurses to please not assign me to those patients.  Most are very nice and good about it,  but one charge nurse was not nice. He assigned me to a patient who came up from the ER with suspected COVID-19 when 4 other nurses could've admitted this patient.  I don't care about me,  but I may only have 3 months left with my dad,  and that charge nurse was very rude to me when I requested what I did.  I realize I'm not special,  but my I am caring for my dad right now. 


That being said,  I also put in the paperwork for FMLA to help my dad with things. Family is so much more important to me then my job.


I'm sad,  angry, and in denial about this all at the same time. My dad is 71, before this cancer diagnosis he was walking 3 miles a day,  shoveling snow,  and was very healthy physically,  mentally is another story. But, I thought I had AT LEAST 10 more years with him.  Now it's less than 1 year.  I don't know what I'll do without him.  He's more like me than any other person on the planet.  We are so alike it's ridiculous

Thor2008
Thor2008
I lost of my Dad ten days ago to cancer.
BrooklynnMB
BrooklynnMB
Oh no. I am so sorry Thor2008. How are you doing?
peterthegreat
peterthegreat
See a psychiatrist. You may need to take some anti- depressant. The doctor can be your mentor.
Scott46
Scott46
I'm so sorry about your dad. I lost my dad last Nov. He was 92 and in a nursing home but still had his mental faculties. One of the many things I regret was not visiting him (its about 1900 miles) last summer when I had the chance. Its a long story. He was in fairly good shape and I figured he would be around a few more years. His mother died at 101. Looking back, the thought of just spending a week with him talking, really talking, about all sorts of things, was such a huge missed opportunity. You have 3-11 months (maybe even more) and you are right there in the same town. Surely if you wear a mask and keep some distance, he'll be safe. Spend time with him. Ask him about his early life. I know a lot about my dad's life growing up and serving in WWII, but there was a lot I didn't know, and didn't think of until after he died. Now I'll never know. There are things I never told him. Now I can't. You are right to take FMLA and you are fortunate you can afford to. I know the loss you are facing and I'm very sorry, but you can make the most of the time he has left. I wish you well. God bless.
bethelbee
bethelbee
So sorry about your Dad.. I hope you are able to get FMLA to help spend more time with him. You're right, family is more important than a job. My dad passed just over 2 years ago at 93. He had a good long life...
Sending hugs and support.
bethelbee
bethelbee
So sorry about your Dad.. I hope you are able to get FMLA to help spend more time with him. You're right, family is more important than a job. My dad passed just over 2 years ago at 93. He had a good long life...
Sending hugs and support.

Thor2008, So sorry on the loss of your Dad. I know how difficult that is. And, thank you so much for your service to this country!
Sending hugs and support to you as well.
KimmyO
KimmyO
I'm so sorry you are going thru this and your Dad is going thru his cancer battle too. That sucks, and there is nothing to say that makes it better. Praying for you both and I know it is hard to focus on work when you feel your time with him is short. All can do is all you can do, and let go of the rest. Take care of yourself, too, in this to be at your best to get thru it. Take your vitamins, eat right, get out in sun and walk.
God bless.
veggiequeen
veggiequeen
You are in my thoughts and prayers as is your Dad. I do think you are smart to try to take advantage of FMLA. My cousin had this also and I am told it works very quickly.) If this is the case- you would be able to share more time of what is left . Hugs to you both as you do deal with this.
Kim
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