Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
As children many of us were taught that "Sticks and stones may break my bones but your words can't even hurt me".
Now as an adult who is suffering from depression, I know that statment could'nt be further from the truth.
Lets face it, broken bones mend, cuts and scrapes heal, but words...Wow, the right words can make you feel larger than life and put you on top of the world.
The wrong words crush your heart, shatter your spirit, destroy your self worth and mess with your mind in ways you may never recover from and when the wrong words are being said by someone who your in love with or love or respect or even just admire, it is complete devastation.
Your fat! Your ugly! Your stupid!
Why can't you be more like you brother?
No one will ever mary you!
Why cant you be smart like your sister?
I hate you!
Your just like your father...NO GOOD!
Your never gonna be any thing?
You would probably think, thats terrible and no child should ever have to hear that. And you are so right. But here I am 47 years old and suffering.
Earlier today, a very close family member asked if i would bring him some doughnuts, glazed,and when I took him some sugar doughnuts (because the bakery did not have any Glazed doughnuts left) this is what he said
"What the hell is wrong with you?
Are you stupid?
Why can't you follow directions?
I said I wanted glazed doughnuts.
Do they look glazed to you?
You just can't follow directions.
I should have known better and just had your brother get them for me.
I bet he would have got me what I asked for.
I was stuck. He did'nt give me the chance to explain. I just stood there for a minute as my eyes filled up with tears and I turned and left quickly.
I thought that he would have been happy to see me getting out and being in a good mood.
I was crying so hard, I could hardly drive away. I cried all the way home. This has hurt my heart all the way to my soul. Just a few days ago, I started feeling good, leaving the house, looking forward to moving to a new HOME in a couple of weeks.
Thinking that this could be a new start and maybe, just maybe a begining to the end of this horrible depression and I felt like that because of all the wonderful ppl here at DS. Comlpete strangers who always have the right words to say, Now I am back to square one, all because of the wrong words used by someone that I love and respect.
He did not have the right to do this to me.
To make me feel like this. It has taken so long for me to feel good and he took it all away.
I don't want to ever feel good again, I don't want the false hope of getting better and being normal. being hurt by words is a pain unlike any other type of pain I ever felt. Normal for me is waking up, laying around and at least one time a day, wishing I would just die. I'd rather stay in my "normal" world where I know just what to expect........NOTHING!!!
Now as an adult who is suffering from depression, I know that statment could'nt be further from the truth.
Lets face it, broken bones mend, cuts and scrapes heal, but words...Wow, the right words can make you feel larger than life and put you on top of the world.
The wrong words crush your heart, shatter your spirit, destroy your self worth and mess with your mind in ways you may never recover from and when the wrong words are being said by someone who your in love with or love or respect or even just admire, it is complete devastation.
Your fat! Your ugly! Your stupid!
Why can't you be more like you brother?
No one will ever mary you!
Why cant you be smart like your sister?
I hate you!
Your just like your father...NO GOOD!
Your never gonna be any thing?
You would probably think, thats terrible and no child should ever have to hear that. And you are so right. But here I am 47 years old and suffering.
Earlier today, a very close family member asked if i would bring him some doughnuts, glazed,and when I took him some sugar doughnuts (because the bakery did not have any Glazed doughnuts left) this is what he said
"What the hell is wrong with you?
Are you stupid?
Why can't you follow directions?
I said I wanted glazed doughnuts.
Do they look glazed to you?
You just can't follow directions.
I should have known better and just had your brother get them for me.
I bet he would have got me what I asked for.
I was stuck. He did'nt give me the chance to explain. I just stood there for a minute as my eyes filled up with tears and I turned and left quickly.
I thought that he would have been happy to see me getting out and being in a good mood.
I was crying so hard, I could hardly drive away. I cried all the way home. This has hurt my heart all the way to my soul. Just a few days ago, I started feeling good, leaving the house, looking forward to moving to a new HOME in a couple of weeks.
Thinking that this could be a new start and maybe, just maybe a begining to the end of this horrible depression and I felt like that because of all the wonderful ppl here at DS. Comlpete strangers who always have the right words to say, Now I am back to square one, all because of the wrong words used by someone that I love and respect.
He did not have the right to do this to me.
To make me feel like this. It has taken so long for me to feel good and he took it all away.
I don't want to ever feel good again, I don't want the false hope of getting better and being normal. being hurt by words is a pain unlike any other type of pain I ever felt. Normal for me is waking up, laying around and at least one time a day, wishing I would just die. I'd rather stay in my "normal" world where I know just what to expect........NOTHING!!!
-
She's gone. She's really gone and she's never coming back. I didn't even get to say good bye.
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Most of the people in that group are toxic parents and I wrote a post about why a child would want to get away from their parents. The scary thing is, there's way more support for toxic parents than victims of toxic parents. The Estrange parent from adult child group has like 2,000+ people... Who don't seem to understand that they caused the estrangement, they think it's the kid's fault and...
So you see dear, some people enjoy hurting others or at least think if they verbally & emotionally abuse someone, they will get their way. It is about control & it is important for your mental & emotional well being to not take it personally - very, very hard to do but not impossible.
It is about growing a thick skin, depressed or not.
Hugs and peace.
You go right on looking forward to a new life in a new home. Frankly, sounds to me like you're better off without someone like that in your life.
I'm not bothered by people putting me down and saying hurtful things to me because I don't stay around people who do that. Isn't it funny how we punish ourselves by remaining in the company of such people, JUST because they happen to be related by blood? You are a human being who is just as entitled to basic respect as the next person, and to be spoken to like that is intolerable.
I wouldn't have been crying. I would have been mad as hell. And this person would know it. Then they would have become persona non grata. Buh byeeeeeeeee!!
Frankly, you don't owe him any explanations. Walking away, whether you were crying or not, was the right thing to do. Someday you'll be able to stand up to this person with a clear mind and dry eyes. You have nothing to be embarrassed about.
certainly words hurt, cut deeper and remain open wounds longer than any physical pain. i can relate to these kinds of things. my mother has hung up on me when ive threatened suicide, told me i didnt deserve to have anyone care about me, told me my old pet that had just passed away wasnt as important as getting her to her dental appoinment, mocked me when i was stuttering due to an anxiety attack, mocked me when i was going through a divorce, oh poor little you, im in such pain, she said in a smarty tone. yes relatives can be worse than ones worst enemy. i just dont understand treating pple closet to ya, worse than ya would ever treat a complete stranger or someone in life they actually didnt like. and then still they will often say those 3 little words. i love you. ive come to realize words, those words alone mean nothing.
im sorry you were treated that way. i do hope you can still feel good about the house, thats still a positive chapter to look forward to, dont let someone destroy that for ya.
if loved ones or friends continue to treat ya like a baby treats a diaper, then its time to close that door, until time they can treat ya with the respect you deserve. best wishes.
at me during my entire lifetime, even all the way back to kindergarten. And it has screwed up my life horribly. And most of those people were blood relatives or people who should have cared for me and respected me.
Unfortunately, except for my dad and his mother (who have both passed on) all the other relatives are pure monsters. I have NO blood relation I associate with. If I'd had the guts decades ago to estrange them from me I would have been better off. But unfortunately I also do not talk to my own 2 grown sons. I just won't tolerate their disrespect for me.
So due to this abuse I have a very hard time relating to people
or maintaining much contact with them. I've actually ruined
some friendships by going way overboard, getting too involved
personally. I've just recently done that again. My girlfriend may
not talk to me now cause I've involved her way too much in my personal problems. I know she's very tired of it, and I can't blame
her.
I agree with deekay. Don't waste your time with this person. It
might hurt and maybe make you feel guilty for awhile, but no one
has the right to put you down like that. You did nothing wrong.
We feel guilty from all the abuse we've had. We feel like we have
to take it cause we're 'bad'. Getting yelled at makes you think
you're no good and you deserve it. You DON'T.
I was thinking about this quote the other day after that horrible woman called me overweight on the street:
"Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent" -Eleanor Roosevelt
Well its hard.. but its true. Nobody can make you, or I, or anybody else feel inferior without our consent.
You did a really nice thing by bringing him doughnuts.. if he feels he has to be such a jacka$$ in return then he is not worth your time.
*bighugs* Come talk to me whenever.. I'm here :)
Sometimes those we love feel uncomfortable when we make progress. Maybe we won't need them anymore. Maybe we'll grow past them and leave them in the dust. Maybe our progress will show them how little progress they are making.
Whatever the reason -- it is BS and don't you let it rob you of the amazing strides you have made.
Your posts speak volumes about you. You are very intelligent, deeply compassionate, and have a wonderful soul. Don't let this sour, old jerk dampen that spirit! I had similar relationships w/ my mother and father and verbal scars that only now am I learning are not true and never were. It's hard, so hard! to put those ingrained messages of worthlessness behind you and see yourself for the person you *really* are. But I truly believe you have that strength. Your relative tripped you on your way out of the hole when he should have been applauding. But you will be back on your feet and still climbing in no time. I am sure of it.
I am a Christian and I have never talked to anyone like that and I am afraid if someone ranted and raved at me like that, they would have had sugar donuts as part of their hair attire and wardrobe. No-one says that we are to be doormats for anyone. This person who said that may be a relative but, certainly not a friend.
Trust me when I tell you...you are NOT Broken...Turn around, Walk AWAY from these Types of People...Put ur Face in the Sun.
Up to you what ya want...what you are Willing to put up with...there is Life, Love, Positive Healing out there...but you have to Walk Towards it...not towards all the negative.
Really.
it's painful. of course it is! still, what do we do if others demean us and we allow them to deem us as worthless . yes i said " we allow them" to deem us as worthless. our worth is found inside of us as the person we know we are. look deep and see if there is love inside of you... do you feel kindness to others? do you wish to make a difference in the lives of those suffering as you are? i do..... if you say " yes" to this, then you need not worry about what others say to you.... believe in the person you are.
you sound like a person that wishes to please others. a giving and kind person... do not let this make you bitter. find others that will appreciate your kindness. there are surely plenty of worthwhile people that need some love and help.. those that would appreciate a loving person in their lives.
PLEASE DO NOT ALLOW MEAN SPIRITED ONES TO BRING YOU DOWN... i can't explain why there are those like this. i just know this.... there has to come a time you let go of them and find a place where your help is needed and appreciated.... make the step to find those in real need. those that deserve your love and kindness.