Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I have a petty rant but it's bothering me and I feel like I need to get it off my chest. I broke up with someone before the pandemic and it was crappy. He said he just didn't have time for me. I found it really insulting; anyway, now that the virus is dying down in my area I want to resume some of the activities that I was doing before and I want to go back to the meetup I was in. They are doing some things with limited numbers of people.
In the summer, the virus was pretty bad; still, he was at the meetups all the time, and I would not have been going anyway. I was really relieved and happy when he dropped off the meetup finally and stopped coming. I feel like I really got the shaft by him and I'm pretty sure I was lied to. I'd like to go on with my life and meet other people without having to see him, period. Plus I want to meet someone else without the shadow of him. I am part of other meetups as well, but this one is the best fit and I like it the most.
After three months of him being gone, and the virus more under control, I felt better about going back, so I signed up for a few events. The stats said that he had not even logged in for a month. I was SO HAPPY! Within a couple of hours of me signing up for a couple of events....he got on and signed up for them too. I felt irritated and disgusted. Some people say that I don't have the right to feel this way but it's just how I feel. Just needed to say that.
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My best friend ruined my day with her immature, bitchy self. If she doesn't get her way, she has a tizzy fit. I told her weeks ago that I couildn't go to yard sales with her on 9/12 because i have a hair appointment. She wasn't happy. I also told her that I don't have any money to go to yard sales. She tried to talk me into going to more yard sales by saying that if I don't go, there...
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The Friday before Labor Day just before we left, the options given to me basically were either quit of be fired, and if I were to stay on I were to be put on an improvement plan, which is pretty much synonymous with getting fired. I was going to do the improvement plan and just ride it out until I found another job due to money and due to the fact that I did not want to quit without another job....
You are trying to move on...and be social...and it's kind of a psychological "mind poke (LOL)" that the guy you're trying to forget about...is going to be at an event, that is suppose to be a part of your moving on journey.
So I totally understand how you feel.
Now...if I was in your situation...I think I have 2 choices.
1) Show my ass up, have fun, if he wants to greet you and say hi, I would look him dead in the eyes and smile and say hi back. I'm not going to drop tears, run out the room, or act like his presence affects me. I'm not going to give him that satisfaction. I'm going to enjoy myself and talk to everyone else...but that greeting will be the only interaction (hi or bye).
2) If you think it will still be hard to see him, I would just give up the group and put my mental health first. There isn't a timeline for when you get over someone. It was hurtful, so it will take some time to get over that feeling.
Whatever you do, or don't do...just be gentle with yourself and how you feel. I think it's completely valid to feel a bit slighted over this. He could have seen that you signed up, and just decide to not attend to kind of spare your feelings.
Again...we can't control others - only ourselves, our reactions, and our narratives.
Validating you...and sending you some light and love! Happy Sunday :)
Because it seems very deliberate on his part that he suddenly is going to the same meetup you just signed up for. Obviously he wants to see you there, talk to you, etc.
Be prepared!!