Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
So I've struggled with depression and anxiety for the best part of 6 years now. I've came a long way since my failed suicide attempts and hospitalisation. But right now as I type this I have no job, my driving license has been revoked but the main thing that's bothering me now is that I feel I'm living a lie with my current gf. My marriage broke up this time last year and after months of crying myself to sleep I eventually found someone. Fast forward a few months and she became pregnant with my child. The thing is I feel so terribly guilty as I struggle to sleep at night thinking about my wife (I'm still technically married) and how much I still miss her. She had originally wanted a break but after a few months it became clear she didn't want me no more. I've struggled with this for ages now. My anxious mind now keeps playing tricks with me and I ask myself am I still in love with my wife? Do I love my gf? I know the most important thing in all of this our unborn child which I will love with all my heart of that I've no doubt but is it fair on my gf just to keep 'going through the motions'. I question myself all the time and still have suicidal thoughts from time to time. I've lost all confidence in myself and I've been putting off getting a job as my anxiety hits turbo when I think of having to work again. I KNOW suicide isn't an option I really don't wanna go down that path again but I'm struggling to make my own decisions am I being selfish for having feelings still? I'm due to see my psychiatrist again in a couple of weeks so I'll be sure to speak it over with him. Thanks for reading, much love cheers.
I can understand still having feelings for an ex, but if my BF wasn't honest about his marital status, I would be totally pissed.
And you’re NOT a horrible person !!!
My husband of 21 years and I are seperated right now ( my fault I spare the details and no I didn’t cheat )
And the loneliness I have felt the last month and 2 days has been more than I could handle and I ALMOST want to just find someone just to have beside me when I’m
Scared and lonely .. but I haven’t Becuase all I want is him and we are trying to work on us .. do I wish for someone to hold me YES .. but It won’t be him
And if you think you still have these strong feelings for your wife , maybe their is a reason ? Have you tried to let her and the idea of your marriage go or are you still
Hoping it can be fixed ? In a perfect world where do you see yourself ?
And shame is part of what's keeping you stuck.
Well...pfft...to it all. As Forrest Gump said..."Sh*t Happens".
If it makes the shame easier to deal with...then okay...you acted terrible for a couple of months, and started dating before you were emotionally free.
But no, you're not terrible, you're "only human"...and humans make mistakes. (Trust me...I have my own!!!!)
Put another way, if you never looked back at your life and saw something that you'd change...then you'd never have Learned Anything. ......and THAT...would really be sad.
On the PLUS side, you've got a new baby coming. Perhaps try looking ahead. Be the person that you want to be 5 years from now, and know that you've got time to get there.
Big hugs, Patti
Psychiatrists generally only prescribe medication. In addition to that medication, other therapies are often needed. Your life is 'messy' to put it mildly and you need professional help to straighten it all out. It is affecting you, your girlfriend, and a (soon to be) baby human ... at least.
Talk to your psychiatrist about more therapeutic help .... referrals perhaps. You are headed for worse times if you don't get your situation improved.
Making babies when you cannot support them, .. or have 'doubtful' relationships with their Mothers is a very irresponsible thing to do. You need to Man Up a bit.
I have replied to one of your posts in the past. I am aware of your surgery and meds among other things. But you have to learn to make sound decisions because it affects other lives. Now you are going to have a baby. Consider asking for really solid advice from well-grounded friends or even a pastor. I do these myself because some life-changing decisions seem good on the surface but creates more problems in reality. You have to deal with your emotional ties because you will be torn between one and the other. The worst thing is that it can come out and your gf might not take it well and you could find yourself alone again, and reliving the same cycle of problems. I am sorry if this offends you but sometimes we need to hear hurtful but realistic advice and I have been on the receiving end before and today grateful for knowing such friends.
No, your not a terrible person.
Hope things get better for you soon.. I know it's easier said then done but try to stay as calm as you can. When we are calm, we make better descisions.
Take care