Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
I was going to go to a phone meeting earlier; I was out and realized that I forgot my phone. What I was going to talk about was the things that can be controlled and the things that can't. I got a degree almost two years ago now, and the thing that I can't control about it is that I've not been able to find a job with the education. It's hard for me to wrap my mind around this, but this is the case. It's almost impossible to get an interview, I've only had a few, so I've been working in jobs that I don't want, which unsurprisingly have not worked out all that well because I guess working in jobs that you don't want would not be very motivating, and therefore they have been short lived. I think that AI has impacted the field that I chose to go into, which is tech. AI is impacting all industries, but certain sectors of tech have been heavily impacted.
My life has been really unmanageable because of this. I used to be a public school teacher, which was not a good fit for me, and when I went back to it because I could not find a tech job, teaching still didn't work out for me. I'd tried an online job and it was even worse. It lasted about two months.
To complicate matters, I have a pretty codependent relationship with my parents. I am older now and so are they, but I think that I depend on them too much at times to tell me what to do, per se, and then they are not happy with my decisions. They are pretty adamant that I keep teaching and I am adamant that I don't want to. They think tech is going to be swallowed by AI completely, and the whole thing goes in circles...
I also have concerns about tech. Anyway, there is another area of tech, IT, it is not the area that I got my degree in, but you can get certifications, like in help desk, Comp Tia, etc, which I am studying. I am back to working part time now that the online teaching didn't work out. The material is far different than my master's, harder for me, I think. I understand there are more jobs in this area and it's more accessible as far as hiring. I was on the product development and software development side of things which I think has been impacted a lot. Anyway, my parents disapprove of me getting these certifications, which are pretty cheap to do. Ironically I find the material much harder than when I was at university. I think the codependent part is being concerned about their opinion at all. It's hard not to when it's hard to find a job and they are financially supporting you to a point, so the situation is complicated.
I stopped seeing my therapist, it was going nowhere, just a whole lot of 'what do you think," that is a very expensive and time consuming, and I am very busy. I don't need to pay someone to ask me what I think. I could engage in critical thinking for free, for God sake. I was hoping that the therapist had insight, which she didn't seem to.
I need to learn more about IT and understand more about it. The part want to control and can't is that I'm seemingly unable to get a job in the field that I want, which is very upsetting considering that I spent a lot of money on the degree. I guess this falls under the 'things that you cannot change."
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Gareth is getting worse, he cant put his pants and trousers on as his back is stiff whhich I told him it would be if he didnt do some yogape some 33 years ago, obviously he took no notice. I now have to help the two of them in the shower or different reasons. When I went too get my haircut, gareth had fallen in the street again, he has bruised his hip. Someone picked him up, he had his...
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I got my hair done, went to Aldi and then I went to McDonald's and got a coffee and went to the gym and sat in the Spa. I was so relaxed. Then I got a massage and worked out. I'm finally getting back into the routine with the gym. It feels good. I was listening to this great video about procrastinating and childhood trauma. Some of it was so me. The guy in the video was really...
This getting an expensive masters degree and then being unable to get a job in that field happened to me as I have written in the past. Mostly because of health issues but also because of ageism.
I feel I made a mistake going after my masters degree but maybe it wasn't really a mistake for either of us? We did learn a lot and saw a new perspective of things.
I have researched this and most people who go back and get a master's degree do not end up financially better off or able to get into that field. So we are not alone.
I think maybe coming on here and asking for advice can be more helpful than asking your parents because your parents don't know and they are clouded in their love for you. Even if they are not acting loving in your way of seeing it.
Can the person you have mentioned at the state program to help what I thought you said disabled people help you with aptitude testing to make sure IT is a good fit.
I am going to suggest again that you sit down and take pen to paper and list all your strengths, then list all your skills in a job situation, write out what things are very hard for you (like for me, I can't walk or stand for longer than an hour).
If your medical issues have impacted learning, then the IT stuff might not be viable. My chronic pain has made learning a new job difficult for me. I am smart enough, it is just that my brain is preoccupied by finding a way to minimize my pain 24 hours a day.
Not your fault, not my fault. I am iffy on the idea of IT because so many are getting laid off from that field around where I live and hear on the news. But our news tends to exaggerate a lot of issues to make a political point so this might not be correct in real life.
You have a part-time job, that is good.
And lastly, maybe take an online career assessment testing, the kind we used to call aptitude testing. Find out what kind of career you would be good at, your strengths, your personality type.
Big hugs to you.