That would be true when the child is actually taught that for 18 years.

The thing is that codependent homes do not teach or raise the child to become independent at 18 or even at 22 after college.

The child being raised in a pampered home where they are taught about Santa Claus and about having fun in High School and then when they turn 18 they get shocked into finding out that their loving parents expect them to leave and that they are getting thrown out.

The fact is that if the child had really been properly taught for 18 years then they would already have their motivation and their own plans worked out, and they would not have any false trust in their parents.

The dysfunction is when the child is raised by being taught childish things for 18 years and then thrown out of the home for failing to grow up.

The parents first teach the young child the dysfunctions and then later punish the adult child for being dysfunctional.

That is the real problem here.

Well that was not the real problem in my house. My kids were raised from birth to be responsible people, including having chores to do for a modest allowance. They were not coddled, and getting a part-time job was discussed with from the time they were about 14. They actually wanted to work so they could have their own money. You can do everything right as a parent and the kid could still grow up to be a slacker. You can also grow up in the most dysfunctional home ever and go on to be a responsible, caring, successful adult. People have free will. Some exercise it properly, and others don't.

I also don't get where you think this boy wasn't raised to grow up, get a job and move out? I see backsliding here, not a failure to launch.

It comes from any parent who openly tells about pushing their own child in low trashy jobs then the dysfunction began years before.

And since the reference was given for an 18 year old then why not push them into a college? instead of a menial job?

If it is a healthy push from the parent.

"Trashy job" was your characterization, not hers. She merely wanted him to work harder at finding another job. I was the one who suggested that any job was better than no job, and I stand by that statement. Sure, college would be a good option if he/they could afford it, but college isn't for everyone. But one still needs to be actively working to grow up and out of the parents' home, not sponging off of well-meaning parents. Some kids will take advantage of their parents if they let them. As John Rosemon, reknowned child psychologist, has stated many times, our job as parents is to get our children out of our lives and into lives of their own. They're not doing that sitting on the couch playing video games.