Misa you have just described a person I know, they want people to forgive and forget anything they do "wrong" but will hang on to whatever little wrong - perceived or real - that has been to them - going back not days, weeks, months but years.
Don't people like this realise that in doing this that the only person they are hurting is themselves?
That their friends get fed up with listening to the same old stuff being brought up about X or Y who did this or that back in ******?
No, they just don't get it. It is all and only about them - but they never see that and that is sad.

BTW Misa I have that same letter, not so much for what I have done or not done but because I choose to talk to and be in the same group as someone they hate. Would be funny if it weren't so sad!

@manny & tipper - thanks, missed you guys!

@hathani - wear it with pride, babe! we can only be responsible for ourselves, and when others treat you badly, at least *you* know what is right in your heart. =)

xo, misa

I do Misa and with humour. As one friend told me - it is their loss!

There was a time when I removed friend from my life because other people wanted me to in order to be their friend - not any more. Now I make my own decisions and if someone doesn't like - tough titties!

Do we know who got the job, or if they have decided.

Nope, as far as I know, there has been no announcement as of yet.

I agree with a few posters here and disagree with a few. I agree that a CL to THIS group should be familiar with cp but not necessarily have been a MEMBER of this group for a while. There is nothing that says that a person that has been a member of DS for at least 6 months is qualified for the position just like there is nothing that says that a person that hasn't been a member for too long isn't qualified for the position. Also, another poster commented that someone random shouldn't have so much power. A CL really doesn't have much power as the position has nothing to do with it. As a CL you get noticed as such on your profile and have the power (if you want to call it that) to close posts. The main function is responsibility. The responsibility to greet people and keep posts on topic. I completely agree that the sole decision should be made in private by other CL's and the DS team. There should be a certain amount of anonymity in the selection of the leader. As someone else stated previously, the CL shouldn't be picked on popularity or how well they are liked. Those aren't the best qualifications. In any event, the search for a CL has sparked some interesting discussion to say the least. I hope that the DS team chooses wisely and NOT based on anything said in these posts. Just based on the pm's they get.

Misa it seems you understood my meaning more than TY did in the "quoted" post. Without being mean or with any other intent I tried to point out that the past doesn't just go away because you say it's over for you. People do remember comments and attitude and will believe that things have changed only by experiencing the change just as they experienced what took place before. Some people will never change their opinion and that is just life. There was no secret message implied, just trying to explain why just saying things are different for one person doesn't mean everyone else will immediately agree.

Now, is that bad for a CL to have been a member who remembers what happened in the past? I don't think so since if there really has been a change there should be no worry. If that person is aware of how things go wrong problems can be nipped in the bud without drama. That is why I think DS should look at problem posts from the past to see how a person wanting to be a CL handled themself. If they have a history of going to mud and complaining about everyone else in reports maybe that isn't a good choice.

I agree that the CL needs to come from this group. If you don't have CP you can't be all that helpful and supportive. You have to know what people are talking about. I also don't think they should have to have been active here for 6 months. I see great new people I wish would be able to volunteer.

* I am not looking for nomination or support to be a CL. It's not an easy job and I think who ever is chosen will need the support of the most of us or the job will just get harder.

I believe there is a better solution to the issues. If we actually "owned" the threads that we start and were allowed to control the reply's with power to delete
--Off topic
--Rude
--mean
--vengful or spiteful
--otherwise not helpful
reply's, the back and forth that I have seen with some threads would effectively stop.

Then the person creating the thread would control the reply's. They could immediately eliminate comments that come from pain and medication issues.

Of course, there is room for abuse with this idea. A person could vengefully delete a persons comments out of spite. BUT that would help really illustrate the intentions of the who are here for something other than being supportive.

We would not have to beg admin to put an issue to rest. If honestly helpful comments were constantly deleted by someone, it might be more obvious.

It might be easier than expecting a CP'er to spend hours on end sitting on their computer wading through hundreds of comments to figure out if a person is being nasty.

Just a thought.
Sunny

I think the whole CL thing is being WAY over thought--- IMHO.
I think people are unsure about it because it will be something so foreign to us here. Never have we felt the need for this up until just recently and I am still sad about it.

But again IMHO... this is not going to be giving anyone any "power" or allowing some ruler to take charge and suddenly be under their thumb. This is OUR board and that will never change. Nothing will be set in stone. I think we have always been CL's in a way because we know when something is going side ways and needs correction. For example ... when a post comes up and its clearly someone pushing junk for financial gain-- it gets taken care of with lightening speed- LITERALLY- I have seen it. LOL we take care of each others best interest.

I dont think the job will be all that difficult. They dont need to be here to police anything or be a referee or basically... direct anything. Its about checking in on a daily basis ( so they have a good feel about whats going on and what posts are getting a little "sore" ) and shut it down if it gets out of hand.

* dont take sides
*dont play favorites. Just shut it down and done with it. Thats all it takes. There is no power- as far as I can see. No more "say" than the next guy / gal ...

I put in my recommendation for someone. I'm hoping they pick at least 2 people for this job though. It takes alot of time to read posts and replies.

Yes you need chronic pain to understand this group. I also think you need to have been here for awhile just to know the past and all the drama that was going on in here, so you can divert it if it starts to go in that direction again. I don't think it necessarily has to be someone that has been here for 6 mths. The drama wasn't that long ago.

I help admin. the Support and Chronic Pain Room and I think of everyone in it as my friends and I have had to delete posts and replies. Not very many at all though. When you do this it is for the benefit of the group. We agreed to no drama and there has been very little in it.

I volunteered to do this to service a room I enjoy and care about alot. I have plenty of time to do this.
Good luck to those applying,
Toni

Lady this is not the first time that a discussion about a CL has been brought up for this group. The last time was just after they were first appointed in some other groups and the assumption was that in time all of the larger and active groups would end up with one or more CL. There have been three times that this board has been in turmoil and each time people who have been valuable members of the board have been warned, suspended or banned.
I can't say that this would not have been the end result if there had been a CL but there is a chance that situations might have been stopped before they got to the boiling point. In groups that have problems with volatile situations and where there are CLs I do know have managed to avoid those end results to a very large extent.
Hopefully when we do get one or two on here that will also be the case. Sure it is calm right now - but ---------- well anyone who has been here for a few years knows that this can change, it only takes one or two trolls or people acting like trolls to start problems up again.
I think that we will know when they make the decision about who it is p either DS will (Jesse) will announce it or we will hear from the CL(s) themselves.

Jesse, I have already added my name for consideration....I'll do it again....May I be a CL???? Please????

the more I think of this, I think this is a really bad idea. No matter who they pick someone will be upset at who is picked. There is so much drama and end fighting and lies and bickering and on and on. Then if you pick a non cp person then how could they truely be understanding of our situation that anyone would respect them.

I really think the quality of people in this group have really droped, there is a person who "claims" to be a doctor who is horrible rude and cares nothing for people. I think he is a lier and refuse to beleive anything he says. Then someone mention chronicil if wasn't banded be a good leader, she was a drug addict that bought fake pee to lie on drug tests to stay on illegal drugs. Such worthless people should be tossed in prision where they belong. I must ask where the morals and decenty of this group has gone? The idea of wanting to reward someone that makes all of our lives impossible just makes me sick, I wanted to throw a party when she was banned got what she deserved as far as I am concered.

I don't trust a lot of people in this group, too many people have no morals of respect for our laws. Nor do they stop and think how this will effect honest people like me, and then even worce they have the ordactity to advertise illegal drugs as a natural alternatine medcine. There illegal for a reason! No morals no respect for laws and no respect for how it effects decent people like me. I wouldn't trust almost anyone with this job.

I really don't care if this bothers people someone had to say this, I am sick of all the lack of morals going on in this site and I am sick of supporting people like this and now they want to reward people like this. I have to wonder why I came back to this group.

Hi Hathani...

I know that this hasn't been the first time to be discussed. Its been going round and round since all the ridiculous drama--couple months ago.

I just hope this will be resolved soon - is all. *sigh*

Hathani is right... this group has been at breaking point many times over the years. It just takes one person to start posting consistently with a controversial point of view... or one person who is a troll (someone who joins a group for the sole purpose of causing discord) and suddenly posts are flaming all over the board. People can have strong opinions on all sorts of subjects, not just chronic pain and its associated treatment options... and being in chronic pain can make the sweetest person snappy and ill-tempered at times. During one of the previous very discordant times here (I believe the same one that made Hathani and rockysowner exit) I decided to stay away from the board, and just concentrate on supporting my DS friends and sending hugs, because the stress here was exacerbating my pain. No-one should be chased away from the support available here because of arguments on the board... so I definitely think a CL would be an asset. I have seen the difference they make on other DS boards. I do agree that they need to have chronic pain, in order to relate to cpers, and to have been active on the board here for over 6 months. Someone who hasn't had that amount of experience here, or the ongoing commitment to the board, is unlikely to know how people can react sometimes... or how quickly the board can turn sour. I hope DS appoints more than one CL... it's a big job for one person to manage, especially if they are dealing with a bad pain day.