Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I recently posted a topic entitled "Skeptical of Marriage", which received a suprising amount of input from women.
As I stated in that topic, my last two (2 yr.) relationships were ended by them, due to their desire & belief in marriage.
I'm still a little fresh from the last relationship ending and today I was thinking, maybe I should call her or if she contacted me I would tell her "OK lets talk about marriage" .
I then came to my senses and realized the insanity of that thought
based on the major red flags I saw in the relationship. LOL
For me yes, marriage is just a piece of paper, and what's really
important in a relationship is the love and committment towards each other.
My question is:
1. Why do women who've already experienced 1-2 failed marriages feel the need to enter into another relationship with the desired outcome of a marriage certificate to validate their love and committment?
As I stated in that topic, my last two (2 yr.) relationships were ended by them, due to their desire & belief in marriage.
I'm still a little fresh from the last relationship ending and today I was thinking, maybe I should call her or if she contacted me I would tell her "OK lets talk about marriage" .
I then came to my senses and realized the insanity of that thought
based on the major red flags I saw in the relationship. LOL
For me yes, marriage is just a piece of paper, and what's really
important in a relationship is the love and committment towards each other.
My question is:
1. Why do women who've already experienced 1-2 failed marriages feel the need to enter into another relationship with the desired outcome of a marriage certificate to validate their love and committment?
Two engagement rings in my cupboard, no intention of trying the engagement again. I'd just go straight into marriage this time...read my reply to a previous discusion, don't want to repeat myself.
it sounds to me like you need to choose women who have as much practical security to offer as what you have to offer. needy women without money and assets are a dime a dozen. a smart man at 58 will choose a woman who is his true peer. he will not "marry down."
maybe that's the problem. the two women that you describe are not really peers of yours. they are trying to marry "up" and that is going against what you really want inside.
I think I'm going to have to agree with faithful.
And...so what if a woman has two failed marriages and wants to continue dating? Why should they let themselves be defined by their past relationships?
If we are going to generalize here, then I will point out it seems most men tend to be needier and rely on marital support more than women do.
My question was based strictly on my past two relationships, even though I stated "women". The first woman I first dated was married in 11 months after she left me, and I'm not sure about the second one. I believe a better way to have phased that question would have been:
Does having a marriage certificate keep a couple in a long term relationship more so, than a couple without a marriage certificate.
Again it's my belief and my belief only, and that is, if a couple has a strong a committment to each other, then how does a piece of paper make it any better?
I think for anyone who believes in marrage and wants to be in one, they will continue to search for the partner that they fit and can be married to. However, I think sometimes, we blind ourselves and really want to believe that everyone believes in marriage at some point in the relationship which leads people to jump in to relationships with both feet without realizing the future goals of their partners may not be the same as theirs in the long run.