*like* what Metta said...

I would never get married again.. I'm not saying that because of a horrible divorce, though that really sealed my thoughts on marriage..

I have seen some friends go from failed marriage to failed marriage. Some of them saying that they don't want to ever be alone. I suppose they feel that the marriage certificate is important, yet if the relationships keep failing, I don't see the point..maybe they are hopeless romantics, but for me, no, I don't want the piece of paper.. Never should have gotten the first one.

I really was thinking marriage is such a big deal for maybe financial reasons.
When I read what cheryt said about makes it harder for anyone to leave them, a bell went off in my head. That has to be right in some cases. I know a couple of women who would do that. As for me, I would certainly would not want a man to stay with me that didn't want to be there.

I also agree with the cute Llama and Ms Viv

When I married this second husband I told him he was the last. There wouldn't be a third husband in my life. That was 33 years ago and I'm finding that I really still mean what I said.

I'm about to get this farm in my name and get the ex off the mortgage. I came into this marriage with a house and I've left with a small farm. My life is secure, I'm happy and I don't need some man trying to mess up my life.

I'm just not interested in ever marrying again.

Okay to give both sides of the situation here, I'm one of those women who always thought relationships had to progress to marriage. I thought my husband thought that way too until he came home a few months ago talking about his friends who had lived together for years without getting married. After ten years of marriage he changed his tune over night. Lovely for me.

But anyhow I'll tell you my reasons for thinking this. Number one I am sort of old fashioned. Was raised to be that way. And marriage is like a tradition. You go through the whole process because it's what your mother and grandmother and so forth and so on always did and always expects from you. And not to be generalizing here but I've noticed in the men I know that they are way less likely to follow family traditions than the women I know. I guess it's a sentimental issue for women.

My second reasoning was always the fact that if a man is willing to go through the whole process of getting married that just maybe they might be more committed to the relationship. Also along that line, they might think harder about doing something stupid that's gonna end their relationship if they know that they'll end up having to deal with the lengthy divorce process. One of those think before you act type things. How many times have you heard a man comment that an affair was just a stupid mistake? I guess I always hoped that the prospect of a lengthy divorce would keep my husband from making such stupid mistakes. Unfortunately I was wrong. Or in his case they weren't mistakes but completely intentional.

Do I still believe in marriage? I'd say yes. Would I try to force a man to marry me? Never. I'm smarter than that now. But ten years ago I rushed into my marriage without finding out just how deceitful the man was that I was marrying. I think the word for it is pathalogical liar.

Okay now that I've played devil's advocate here I'll give you the same advice that the other's have. It's all about compatibility. Are those two women wrong for wanting marriage? No. But are they right for you? No to that one too. You have to find someone who has the same beliefs as you. And you have to really get to know the person before you make the decision that they are the one you want forever. And don't be surprised if that changes along the line too. People change sometimes over night. The world around us affects our thinking with every event we see. People in our lives. News stories you see on tv. Articles on the internet. Every amount of information your brain processes has some effect.

I guess I want marriage because it makes me feel "cheap" that I am living with a man instead of him thinking enough of me that he would want to call me his wife, his true partner. Just living with someone scares me to think at any given moment in my life down the road he could just stop caring and leave me out on the street. I don't think people try as hard to make something work when they are not married and faced with the consequesces of divorce. It is hard to put into words but I don't feel "special" to him just being a girlfriend. Some people even look at me diffently because I am "just a girlfriend"...I am not used to that. I am in all ways a lady with a lot of class.

I'd suggest the best answer would come from asking the specific women involved. Not everyone's reasons are the same. Also, it's not like these women are marrying themselves....meaning there are just as many men out there going through several spouses...what do you figure their motivation is?

Since women are individuals, the reasons why these women might like to remarry will vary by the individual. If you're wondering why the women you were specifically involved with felt that way, you would need to ask them.

That being said, since we can't control other people, only ourselves... and since you feel that marriage is just a piece of paper...have you stopped to think about what it is you might be doing that seems to only be attracting women who DO value marriage?

Because, as demonstrated by many of the responses here, there are women who have similar views as your own, and who have decided they never want to remarry. These women do exist! :)

The problem I've seen with people who are against marriage is that too many of them are not willing to work through any of the inevitable problems that come along in long term relationships. To me, there is always the question of what financial investments and decisions we should make together if we may only be together for less than a year.
It's nice to know that you've found someone you can count on, otherwise why should a woman take the risk of investing her time, resources and love? That's a lot to lose for someone who's ready to walk when things get rough. I'm worth way more than that.

AND THAT'S THE PROBLEM! MARRIAGE IS A PIECE OF PAPER? INSANE THINKING BY INDIVIDUAL WHO ALLOW SOCIETY TO DICTATE THEIR BELEIFS. MARRIAGE IS A UNION. A SACRIFICE BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE AND GOD. THESE INDIVIDUAL VOW TO REMAIN TOGETHER THROUGH ROUGH TIMES, HAPPY TIMES, AND TIMES OF UNCERTAINTY.

MATURE INDIVIDUALS ARE CAPABLE OF STAYING AND WORKING THROUGH IT ALL. INFIDELITY BEING THE BIGGEST OBSTACLE TO WORK THROUGH. NO ONE WANTS TO BE CHEATED ON, OR WANT TO BELIEVE THEY ARE NOT ENOUGH.
MORALS HAVE BEEN DIMINISHED BY THOSE WHO ADHERE TO SOCIETIAL NORMS, LIVING TOGETHER, CHILDREN OUT OF WEDLOCK, LOOSE MORALS, AND THE INABILITY TO CONTROL IMPULSIVE BEHAVIORS.

LOVE COMES FROM THE HEART, WHEN THE MIND AND THE HEART ARE ALIGNED TWO PEOPLE CAN STAY COMMITTED UNTIL DEATH DO THEY PART. JUST MY OPINION.

I've been divorced once and in love with two other men years after the divorce.

I'd been happy to find a trusted man as a friend and companion who appreciates me. I don't have to be married but would say "yes" in a heartbeat if I felt it was right.

LOL....I make twice as much as my husband. I pay all the bills. I was definitely not looking for financial support when I remarried.

I guess it comes down to the fact that I still believed in marriage despite the fact that my first marriage failed. Do I think that you have to get married to maintain a romantic relationship? No. But I like having that partnership. Luckily now I'm in that partnership with someone I can trust fully.

If something were to happen to my husband, I'm not sure I would marry again. It would be hard to measure up to my husband and I wouldn't settle for less ever again. It's funny that a divorce didn't make me swear off marriage but instead being treated the way I should have been treated from the beginning has had that effect.

Interesting that the gay community is fighting for legal marriage and those who can marry think so little of it.

"A SACRIFICE BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE AND GOD".

Why do it always has to be a sacrifice!

LOL

Marriage:

1. Reaffirmation of the depth of feeling for another human being.
2. Greater tax write-off.
3. Better insurance rates.
4. A promise to be faithful.
5. A life long commitment.

Divorce:

1. Yeah, I don't mean any of that shit I said when I got married anymore.

;)

I'm not sure I can really explain this in a way that makes sense. I used to think that if I didn't get married people would look at me as never being good enough and think things like "It's so sad that she was never good enough for a man to marry her". When you get married you are telling the world that you CHOOSE each other. It tells all other men that this lady is spoken for and dedicated to ONE man. It tells all other women that you choose her and you are dedicated to her, so it's hands off, you are not available. I think it gives many that sense of security knowing that you are there for each other now and in the future. When you take vows you are making promises to love honour and cherish each other for the rest of your days. When you aren't married there can be just that tiny niggling feeling of "he can walk out that door anytime he wants, maybe he's still looking for someone better and not being married makes things less messy" For those who are committed to each other it might not make sense, if you tell me all the time that you love me and you are there for me and always will be, I should believe it right? But then you get that silly feeling of "well if he loves me and will always be there for me, why doesn't he want to marry me"?
I don't have failed marriages-but I do have long term relationships that failed- looking back it's like "phew thank goodness we weren't married- that would have been a nightmare to get out of" lol
But yes there is that part of me that would like to have a husband, someone that's all mine-just mine and no one else's.