Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
A man told me: A man never change. He never knew any man who changes.
Is there any exception?
My ex is a bad guy. Will he ever change somehow? Maybe find the love of his life (not neccessarily me) and change to a good guy?
Have you ever experienced the change in a man?
And question for men on DS: what you do, what you want, your perception of yourselves, your temper, your strength and weakness, etc... Have you ever changed?
Is there any exception?
My ex is a bad guy. Will he ever change somehow? Maybe find the love of his life (not neccessarily me) and change to a good guy?
Have you ever experienced the change in a man?
And question for men on DS: what you do, what you want, your perception of yourselves, your temper, your strength and weakness, etc... Have you ever changed?
IDK. If someone has the link to a community that can explain how you "try" to be gay, please post it for me. Thanks you?
I know! I know! .
The fact is women say one thing but they secretly want something else. If they say they want to be treated like queens, they really want to be abused. When they do, they like it but they don't know they like it.
So they think they don't like it so they break up and the whole cycle starts over again. They will post on here how terrible things are and only if they found someone who will treat them like a queen.
Low and behold, prince charming comes along, treats them like a queen and gets rejected or dumped for the guy who is going to abuse them.
I'm looking for a relationship baded on lutal caring and respect. I'd love to be treated well by someone I can treat well in return.
as for the king and queen thing, forget it. the king and queen never actually do anything. they always delegate to underlings. they are pretty worthless in a household.
I don't know about the "try" but it is true that I fell for a lesbian for a month. No emotions. I just fantasized about kissing and touching her. But she already had a girlfriend so nothing happened. After a month I became normal again.
@galvatron:
I'm afraid that I must disagree with you. As a woman reaching the age of 30, I have passed the game period (or my mental aging too fast). I remember those games when a woman says one thing but she means other. But it's only in one direction: she wants to be treated well.
E.g.: If she says: "I don't mind getting married or single" or "I can open the car door myself" or "I want to share the dinner bill"... (just a few examples ok)... That, in most women, is not true. She just says it because she's pretending to be cooler than men, be on the control of the game. It's just a safe way to protect herself while getting to know the man better.
But in her heart, she just wants to see if the man insists in getting married or open the door, or paying the bill... If the man insists in all that, he can melt the heart of the strongest woman. And she will tell her friends: "He's a true gentleman."
If the man doesn't AND things don't evolve well AND/OR they broke up, she can say to her friends: "I knew it in my guts from the start."
But those games - I played them when I was younger. Now after been through a lot, reaching the 30s, clock is ticking... I just stop playing games and talk quite frank and straight about what I want.
btw, I never answered your question.
what you do: Systems Administration, Previous Customer Manager, Previous Application Manager
What you want: I don't want anything. I already have everything I need. wife, kids, shelter, clothes, food, sleep
your perception of yourself: I'm a good guy
your temper: I'm always yelling at my wife but its a good thing. it means I care. she knows that when i'm not yelling, thats really bad.
your strengths/weakness: fixing problems and weakness is creativity and designing
Have you ever changed: yes
My ex was also a very bad man. I actually think he's gotten worse in the past 5 years rather than better. Luckily it's mostly not my problem. I added the "mostly" because he hasn't worked in a while and has stopped paying cs. Darn him.
Women need stuffs. Lots of stuffs. We change because our needs change. So many reasons: money, children, our body, the house...
We can still be bored at home.
We are fed up with cleaning and cooking.
The children are sick or running non stop around the house, making noise.
We want to be beautiful but can't arrange time to go to the salon but have too much time to be jealous with the new dress and shoes and bags of the woman next door.
Etc...
Some saying: When a woman get married to a man, she hopes to change that man, but the fact is that man will never change. And when a man get married to a woman, he hopes that she will never change, but the fact is that she will change.
It is funny that men and women are so different but can still compromise and make up life together. The most successful couples are the ones who work together on their marriage every single day, every single move. Because they understand that: when they come to the church and have a beautiful wedding, it is not a happy endings. It is just a beginning of a journey.
They get thrown in to the nut house labeled with multiple personality disorder!
So, personality doesn't change and never will but behavior do change. You can condition behavior with needs and wants. Like pavlov's salivating dogs.
I have seen and known many people that have changed things in their lives, but it did not happen because someone else wanted them to, it happened because they wanted to. So if you are asking someone to change it likely will not happen unless they want it and it will be of benefit to them.