No, not at all. I saw messages from a 'co-worker' several times: "Miss you". He claimed she was married with kids, but could not explain why a woman married with kids would be texting him on a Sunday (off day) afternoon. You are not being unreasonable. I asked to see his phone and he refused and said it was an invasion of his privacy. Use this break to ask yourself how much more are you willing to take. If not this, what else are you willing to overlook? Is it worth your time in the end?

In my opinion NO you are not unreasonable. They
start off sort Of innocent then it progresses. Emotional
affairs Are deadlier than physical ones because they are
sharing Emotional intimacy and private conversations.

You are being Basically kicked out of your own marriage.
They are the bonded ones now And the go to Person for
Your spouse not you.

I have no idea if you have any proof but you will find Out
soon enough. Now that she has been called On it and you
Are on break. Do not expect any openness or honesty from
her, only anger and resentment for getting caught probably.
HUGS

I pulled up the phone bill and its a lot more than I ever realized. She also brought him into our home on Wednesday because he was suicidal and drunk because his friend died. I found this out from a neighbor

Good luck, sounds all very Suspicious. Many
Of us go thru limbo for awhile before divorce
Is declared. HUGS

If she's texting someone and being dishonest about it, it means there's something there... Maybe early stages, and you can go to counseling and work it out. You're not being unreasonable at all, if you let it go and didn't say anything, then it would be a worse situation. I wish you both luck in working through this.

A marriage only flourishes when each of the spouses honor the other in their actions and words. Lying is not honoring you. Extensive communication is going way beyond the acquaintance boundary for the opposite sex of a spouse. Again this is not honoring you. The same should apply to you. If she can justify these actions towards him (an in appropriate level of communication) and towards you (deception) then it is highly likely she is able to justify much greater infractions in morality. I truly pray I am wrong and it is only the cynicism of my past experiences coloring my perspective. Be smart and strong!

I think your wife should be putting you first. If you've told her how uncomfortable you are, that should be enough to stop whatever she's doing with this coworker. My soon-to-be-ex husband was exactly the same way. We even went through marriage counseling for months and he still couldn't understand why he had to stop contacting his coworker. He thought I should be ok with him spending hours with her on the phone because they were just "friends." I left, and he didn't even put up a fight.

It is apparent to me that for some reason or reasons she is losing interest in you. Is your marriage now as it was when you first became so? Living with is properly knowing, is she the same person you met before moving in with her? Do you think you are a changed person since she moved in with you? Familiarity breeds contempt, do you sense she has contempt for you? Is it possible she thinks you have contempt for her? None of these questions may be relevant, but you never know if they are never asked. Are you being unreasonable? Face value no, however, in fairness to her I am not hearing her side of the story, only you speaking on behalf of and, I fail to know you from a bar of soap.

You are being reasonable. Sounds suspiciously like she has something to hide
My STBX started to guard her phone with her life. Changing password, became paranoid I'd find something. We never used to lock our phones.

One day she wanted to show me something on her Facebook, so I said let's see...she said in a minute and took off. I followed her and said what are you deleting. Long story short, she was chatting up men and had multiple affairs.

My STBX started saying I was controlling too. Totally inaccurate. She did what ever she wanted when she wanted to....I was just starting to ask more questions because I was noticing plenty of red flags.

In today's world, it's so much easier now to go out seeking emotional support from others via online. This became an addiction for my STBX which lead to her infidelity. She chose not to come to me for support. Anyone who knows me knows I'm a helper, I talk, I listen. It's not like I ignored her at all. Always complement her, never forgot an important date, supported her in every way...yet she still strayed. Nothing I could have done.
I wish you well, and best of luck to you friend.

yes, you are being unreasonable,
call a lawyer
get tested for std's
get counseling
get away from her

she will take a break from you
she won't take a break from the guy whose cock she is sucking

wake up,

Your concerns are valid. She has suspicious behavior and you have a right to feel as you do. Wishing you the best.

Thank you everyone for your responses, Such a great community here.

My philosophy is if you have to hide something it is a no no. You should never do anything you wouldn't want your spouse to know about. And do unto others as you would have them so unto you. I am sure she wouldn't want you to have another female over without you knowing. You are definitely not being unreasonable. Marriage is faith and trust without those things it is a miserable place. Stick to your gut.

If there was one thing I'd wished I'd done when he was having his affair, it would be to listen to myself. I knew something was amiss and, for many, many complicated reasons, I let myself be talked out of believing my gut. He looked at me for years and lied so convincingly--even thought the truth was there. All I had to do was google "is he having an affair?"--I was afraid of so much---being poor, being the guileless wife, having to explain to my kids that daddy was not living with us bc he had a girlfriend, and on and on....

You KNOW what she is doing is wrong--not just for us outsiders but for YOU. Like the others, I wish you well but caution you not to be like me----get the truth now. There is still time. Use it for you.

Thats just wrong of her. U know it and so does she. Its an excuse to make u feel like ur the one wrong, and for her to cheat. Even if shes not being intimate with this guy its still being unfaithful.