It's difficult to deal with a partner who is an alcoholic. I was in two 5 year relationships with alcoholics and I couldn't take it anymore and left both of them. Never looked back. Now I am with someone who never drinks and life is so much more calmer and stress free.

Do you want to stay in this kind of marriage? Have you tried any therapy or Al Anon?

You don't have to stay in a relationship that causes you so much pain and sadness. You deserve a happy life.

Being a special education teacher is very noble. It takes someone with a very open heart, a desire to serve and help, and someone with a lot of compassion. I knew a few special education teachers. It was like a calling for them to do this kind of work. It isn't for everyone b/c yes it's not only mentally demanding, it's physical b/c you have to often assist your students, and it's emotional as well.

That said, I think when your husband attacks your job - he's indirectly attacking a part of who you are. He probably sees that it's something you really love or dedicated too, and it's a great way to really hurt you by minimizing it, or trying to tear you away from it.

Disordered people how 2 super powers. They have the ability to see very quickly the things that are important to you or your self worth, and what you are insecure about.

In order to maintain control, they have to disconnect you from who you are - family, friends, job, hobbies, identity. It happens very slowly sometimes before you notice. One day you wake up and you realize you don't even know who you are anymore.

If you believe his narrative, you will now think...it's my job that is causing us problems. No that's not it at all. His alcoholism and behaviors because of it, are causing your marital problems. Don't let him bait and switch you.

Definitely find a good counselor to help you sort thru your feelings, and see if the relationship is salvageable if you want it to be salvageable. If you feel it in your heart that you want it to be over, that is also good enough.

You don't deserve it and don't believe the lies and narratives. They are all smoke screens to take attention from his issues. Remember who you are, and if you have forgotten, start working on that and it could help with the clarity or courage you need to make the next best step for yourself.

Sending you light and love.

I am sorry you are in such a rough spot right now. It is disheartening when you are exhausted from your job and you are not getting the support you need at home. With the Covid crisis, it has made teaching even more demanding, especially for special education teachers. My daughter in law is a special education teacher and it has been extra crazy for her as well. Does your husband believe he has a problem with alcohol? Have you thought about looking for support networks or substance abuse counseling in your area? Maybe that is the place to start. Wish summer was just around the corner so you could get a break. God bless

I know so many who have been in similar situations. Living in this environment is extremely unhealthy physically, mentally, and spiritually. Please seek outside counseling right away. Have you thought to look into a local church? Many times they are willing to help and if they can't they are usually able to refer you to someone who can. Lots of hugs and prayers for healing.

If you can break it off, maybe you can do a trial separation. He has to get help, because he is medicating with alcohol for whatever problems he has.
I, unfortunately, got involved with someone who was a heavy drinker and he medicated with alcohol for his uncontrolled bipolar disorder and PTSD.
It took 4 years for him to find his way, but now that he is on medications, he became a person he always wanted to me and is a good partner to me instead of constant aggravation.
Hope your husband realizes that he can get better.

My husband does the same thing to me. I’m a nurse. It seems like he is threatened by independence. And also any praise you probably receive from people about your job. That makes my husband’s blood boil. You’d think they would be proud of us. But no.