i guess maybe i didnt realize my marriage was doomed, until i found pictures of another woman on my husbands phone and kicked him out. He lied about everything...said it was innocent...now all these lies are coming out. I know i wasnt a perfect wife, but geez...no one deserves to be cheated on

Che2, you made me laugh out loud!

I had no warning signs. He was there and then he wasn't.

Warning signs.. hmmm.

He talked for hours on the cell phone with this woman (ran my cell bill up to over $2500 for a month)... when I asked what they talk about he said "gardening stuff", when I said why don't you talk at night when I'm here he said "she doesn't want to interfere with the family",

When I saw their love notes back and forth in his email.

When I saw hotel reservations for them both (he swears to me he slept in the damn truck)

When I saw a picture she sent him via email of the two of them hugging and then him in a ratty bathrobe holding a cat on his lap! He swears he wasn't it bed but it looked like a pillow to me and OMG he hates cats!

When 1 week after I invited her into my home all of a sudden he loves her (yes am I stupid and believe in my marriage or what)

Oh yes.. and when she swore to me she would never take a man from his wife and they were good friends and the only reason he was coming to her house was to help her setup a greenhouse!

OMG I'm a dip shit!

But you know what -- I believe in trusting someone -- always will -- I refuse to change who I am

I hope to god he is reading this STUFF!

Sorry for cussing

Ahh, good question, Che. They are crystal clear NOW!

When I talked about work: I heard Youre just trying to get books into peoples hands. But I got to hear all about poor Little Miss S and her struggle for a raise. Shes so undervalued. Yea, shes under something. Umm, I think its YOU.

He worked downtown, 45 minutes from home. Does he invite me to company events? No. No advance notice for me, so we can get a sitter. He lets me know about them the day they are scheduledIm just going to stay late and have a few drinks for Little Miss Ss 25th birthday party, no sense in coming home between now and 8 pm.

No, of course not darling, that would interfere with your consummation of this relationship! Ill just be home caring for your two children.

he he he my comment is similiar to yours only it involves dishes!!!! ohh no better yet...the toilet!!!

i visit his apartment and he says to me, "i just don't understand it. the toliet is black." here i am thinking there is something really wrong with the toliet. so as we are cleaning out his apartment for him to move, i try to clean said toliet. nothing was wrong. he never cleaned it!!! THIS should have been a very very clear signal to me!!! in all the years i have known him, he has never cleaned a toliet!!!! but to quote him "he is a clean person and very fussy about germs." ROFL!!!!!!!

Gosh, when I should have known is so much different when I did know. I should have known when answers he gave to questions made me go hmmmmm, but I said, oh well, not him. But when I truly KNEW it was over was when he brought my kids around his girlfriend

When my s2bx put drinking and going out with his friends before family, regularly.

When should I have known?? Let's see when I caught him lying about working. He said he was working but he actually didn't have a job...but I trusted him and forgave him and guess what??? he lied again!!! Ummm...when I would ask him to do something small for me like put the clothes in the dryer and he acted like I was asking him to kill someone...to many to mention.

Chari, haven't you learned....Men don't DO toilets!!!!"
All kidding aside, my "RED FLAG' moment came when he asked me to lie on an insurance claim. 2o+ year ago-

Ohhh, this is a good and funny topic. My wifes lover offered my then 14 y/o so a job at $12 per hour. Basically he used our son as a way to stay in contact with my wife after their one time chance meeting. Really sick, my wife pimped her on son to kick off an adulterous affair. Her are some of the funnier and so obvious signs she was cheating. Im really insulted that she thought I couldnt deduce she was having an affair, but good grief, youd have to be brain dead not to connect these dots.

1. One moment she talks about how great my sons boss is, then nothing. She doesnt talk of him at all and tries to steer the conversation somewhere else.
2. She, out of the blue, starts going out on weekends with girlfriends Ive never heard of.
3. Expensive jewelry, like I wouldnt notice a platinum & emerald bracelet, and iPods start showing up unexplained.
4. She schedules a week long business trip to Tampa. By coincidence my sons boss takes the same week for a business trip. Neither one have taken a trip sense.
5. While on her week business trip my wife took an ample supply of lace underwear and other such personal undergarments.
6. While on this same trip she would call and tell the kids goodnight at 5pm. She was just so tired after a long days work.
7. She started taking overnight trips with her girlfriends.
8. My wife walks around with her cell phone attached to her hip. Conversations end the moment I come into a room.
9. Trips to the grocery store take 4 hours or more.
10. Not to mention how agitated, distant, and mean she became when I was around.

I really was so insulted that she thought such transparent lies would go unnoticed. I have to say that she added quite a bit of Marriot Reward points to our account. I guess her girlfriend that lives down in Columbus, OH somehow billed my wife for her stay as a Marriot Hotel up in Summit County, nearly 100 miles north of Columbus? Do cheaters actually believe there own BS?

Well, there were a lot of little signs, that I could see after the fact. But the clincher was, when I was trying to talk to him about where our relationship was going, and that I wasn't happy, he fell asleep!

I guess mine would have to be when my stbx started turning mean after we moved to another state. He had always been so loving and he just turned into a monster. He would yell and he stopped doing nice things for me. He would spend a lot of time at work. In he end he told me work would always come before family to him and that he no longer wanted children. When I was leaving our apartment for good he told me he loved his job so much because the people he worked with were on his same level- he is a very smart computer guy- BUT he is totally stupid for leaving me!!!

Warning signs for me were not very subtle. The physical abuse was a big one. Also he called me a lot of names.

Well... When his hobbies became an obssesion. When his "racing" became so muc more important than our family. When ALL of his races suddenly were all in the same town, instead of in different states each time. When his put downs became more and more frequent, and his desire in me became less frequent. When I found pictures of her in his wallet, and the 2 hour phone calls in the middle of the night when I wasnt around.. and when he started shutting his cell phone off at a certain time EVERY night when he was at home. When he suddenly had this great friend(same sex he said) from this other state/town. What man is going to talk to another man in the middle of the night for 2 hours every night? When little questions i would ask him started fights... the list goes on and on.

When he went on&on about what a WONDERful woman he was working with. He once told me, "She is so sweet, she wouldn't say SHIT if she had a mouthful of it!" What she had a mouthful of was his shit!