Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I recently posted about a break up with my ex girlfriend.we lived together for a year and we're together for a year and a half. We broke up officially 4 weeks ago now. Within those 4 weeks we decided we would work on ourselves and relationship to see if we should get back together and we're actively planning to get back together although we had several fights within that timeframe due to some unfelt feelings by her that I wasn't trying enough.
fast forward to last Saturday where she lied to me about going over a guys house that she just said was her friends. we fought and then that Sunday night she brought him back to her house and I saw them on the ring doorbell. I officially called it off between us after that. She claims he was just a friend and she brought the guy over to hurt and spite me. Furthermore she says it's not cheating considering we were not officially back together and not boyfriend and girlfriend because she would have never done what she did. I am unsure if I believe her or not or if what she says about it being only happening cause we were not together. She tells me every day she wants to get back with me but also she's not the one to text first in the day, saying that she thinks I don't want to be bothered. I 100% want too get back with her, but I also have to think I don't want this to happen again. I do love her and care for her, and she did treat me very well before. She asked me to meet up with her a few days ago and I just couldn't bring myself to see her not only because I know I wouldn't be able to let go and two my anger and other emotions would come out. Is it wrong for me to see this as cheating on me? Even if nothing was done with this guy and he was truly a friend?
im unsure what I should do and I am unsure of what questions I need to be asking myself if I would even consider getting back with her. I don't know if I should let go and look elsewhere or what. And advice would be greatly appreciated
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I'm horrified! I knew my insurance would go up due to getting a new car but I didn't expect it to go up over $2,000. I did have an accident with the snow/ice in the winter. I was just telling my brother that I have had my car since March 2, 2026 and have only spent $75 on an oil change. Now this! I called another insurance company and their quote was over $4,000. I guess I have to pay...
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She is having sex with another guy, lying to you about it, seeing him two nights in a row (that you know of). You had to "catch her" on the ring doorbell, and then she still lies about it???
If it was "just a friend", she would have told you about seeing a friend before. And guys that are "just friends" don't spend the night at girl's houses, two nights in a row.
You know what is up. You are not "second best"! You deserve to be with someone who will not cheat and lie and break up with you so she can sleep with other guys.
Keep this broken up. She has made her decision. She is obviously not "working on" getting you and her back together at all. It is going to hurt a lot, but not for long. Keep working on yourself, taking care of yourself, not obsessing about what she is or isn't doing. The game playing messes with your head too much, which is not healthy for you, and it won't change what she is doing with other guys.
Do your own thing (because you're "broken up" according to her, right?) Talk to other girls, do what you want to do. You need to look after yourself first and foremost..
And, cheaters lie.
You can believe what you want to, and drag this out longer and longer if you want.... but the fact that she is not trying to put this back together with you, she is lying to your face, and having a guy spend the night with her two nights in a row behind your back ("just friends" of a guy and girl don't spend the night just to talk... they have sex), is a girl that is not interested in fixing the relationship between you two.
If she was truly interested in getting you two back together, she would not be doing these damaging things. She would not be playing dangerous games like this. She would not be lying. She would not be having guys over and going to guys houses. She would be completely honest with you, and talking with you, and texting you first, and actively talking about how you two could fix your relationship. But, she isn't doing any of those things. She is playing games and it will only mess with your head.
The sooner you realize that it is done and she has moved on, the better for your mental health and overall well being. You can not change another person. You can only take care of yourself. You know inside what is up.