Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Trying to move on with someone else

why-me
why-me

So it's only been a few days since the divorce was final and 4 months since she filed. She has not been with anyone else or is looking for anyone until she's mentally healthy she says. I hate being alone and still love her even though she treated me and my family very poorly. I am a successful man and from what I'm told a handsome man. I get approached by women quit often just about anywhere but never cheated one on my now x wife. 2 weeks ago a very attractive woman gave me her number in line at a gas station another at Applebee's restaurant and I won't even get started on Facebook. So I decided to go out with a couple of them to try and ease the hurt I feel from her leaving me. These woman are very attractive nice and fun girls but all I could think about was the X and wondering why she did this. Why would I still want her when she was just down right mean to be honest my whole family can't stand her and they have her plenty of chances. These girls want to go out again and I don't know if I should and just push through it and keep trying? Or just stay home be miserable and think about the X. I know it's not fair to these other girls. I don't know what to do. I'm honest with these woman I have been out with and they want me to be happy and help. 

leila
leila
Enjoy!!! Meet people. Get to know people single people go out have fun don't think about getting into a relationship because let's face it you are not ready when the moment it's right with the right person you will do it, but for now have fun. Get stronger little by little and you will move on. :)
kbbcoop77
kbbcoop77
Personally I don't think you're ready to date… Take some time to get comfortable with yourself before dating… I tried dating way too early after my wife left and it was for all the wrong reasons… Just get comfortable being alone first believe me it's a lot less pressure after
speechless1000
speechless1000
I was in your situation after my first divorce. Like you I ummed & arhed. Anyway I started seeing someone in hindsight I would never have got involved with had I been of sound mind. After a year he proposed & even though I had doubts I said yes. I'm now getting divorced for a 2nd time. If it wasn't for our son I can honestly say I 100% regret it. I was so desperate for my happy ending. The bottom line is I wasn't ready I was very very vulnerable & I made one mistake after another. Like you all I did was pine for my ex and then when I stopped I interpreted that as being in love with my stbx husband. I don't want to tell you to stay in miserable but your situation sounds very much like mine. I'd say you probably need a bit more time to process what's happened & then you'll make better decisions. My stbx husband isn't a nice man & other than my son I truly wished I'd listened to my friends and family but I didn't and I'm now paying the price. Marry/date in haste repent at leisure. Good luck to you whatever you decide.
tmichelle
tmichelle
You must use this time to meditate and really get to figure out what is it that you want. You also need to figure out, why are you longing for someone that treated you poorly. Enjoy people and have fun without the connection. Relationships are complex and you need this time for you. Wishing you the best time to heal.
JeanK
JeanK
I can relate, I'm going through a divorce myself. He was abusive, now he wants me back but I can't live that way. It will take time but that's hard too. Things will get better. A little at a time but they will. Spend time with people who love you, family friends, it does help.
tabatha
tabatha
I also don't think your ready to date otherwise you wouldn't be putting so much thought into it ... you must have guy friends... those are the ones you should be spending time with. It will all happen on its own and when it does you won't be second guessing yourself. I'm sorry this happened to you but life has a funny way of turning out for the better if you let it ! ...
why-me
why-me
Thanks to everyone that responded it means a lot that you did. Never been this twisted about a break up. It's the first time I didn't do the breaking up and I'll say this it's a eye opener. I feel bad now about I have handled break ups in the past. Not being able to understand the hurt that went along with it. Anyways thanks for the advice
why-me
why-me
Tabatha was just reading the responses again and yes I do have guy friends most of which are married and happily married. Going over to their house and seeing them with their kind, loving and flat out awesome wives is way to much to handle right now. My single friends are booze drinking woman chasing idiots that never grew up. Love them to death but don't want to fall back into the bottle. Been down that road before. My first divorce from my high school sweetheart I ran off to Vegas for 3 years and to say the least lived it up! Anyways just helps typing away on this site. I'm finding it to be relaxing more then anything else right now. It's helping a lot
Nick2017
Nick2017
great post. you are a lucky man and have the upper hand - choices. others dont have that.
serenityspeaks
serenityspeaks
Your just Not Ready....why not just find things you enjoy to occupy yourself. Hobbies and such? I can relate to.this feeling though.
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