very pragmatic

too bad the brains the pragmatic one
and the heart, not so much

otherwise half of us wouldnt be here

when i think of the word love as in relationship love, i substitute the word "cherish." i think that word evokes clearer images and is more descriptive.

then, i look at the actual displays of it. too often, it does not feel like i am cherished, it does not look like i am cherished, it does not sound like i am cherished. which begs the question:

"if i am so cherished, why the hell are you being such a pain in the ass?

geesh.

haha

I have a feeling everyone here wondered the same thing at some point

((hugs))

lol

good friggin' grief, baby ...

lighten up already.

flashbacks suck. lol

I want to think I'll be more careful and take my time. I usually end up saying it too soon, but it seemed like a good idea every time.

All my past relationships started with extreme wildfire and sex way too soon, creating a false sense of true intimacy.

I'd like to think I wouldn't do that next time. I'd like to think I'll reserve saying the first 'I love you' until I am truly sure.

Really I have no idea. After being swept up in the emotions is over (the beginning honeymoon period), will it last? I have no idea every time, and usually depend on sex being awesome to pacify it.

"Next time, I'll do it much better!". We'll see. I tend to love getting caught up in all the emotions and the wonderful of it all, diving in with both feet and eyes closed.

Not sure I know any other way, other than what is better from what I read and learned outside my own experiences. If only I could follow the same advice I give to everyone else.

Babysteps? No sex too soon?

Not a problem at the moment. Future me can worry about that!

the best way for a woman to express her love as cherishing me, is to live right and be the equal partner that she is supposed to be. if i could find a woman like that, i could work with her easily. but, in my experience, women rarely want to be equal. someone is going to take the fall and it isn't going to be them.

if they can't find a way to pin it on you, they will go find a therapist to show them how to. lol,

I think there is a lot of truth to this saying:

"men use love for sex and women use sex for love"

Men learn the power of words. Women learn the power of their affections.

with all due respect, i disagree, Edgar. i think men can screw any woman but they will only love a woman who they think will be loyal. i think that women overestimate the value of their physical and emotional affection. those are the easy parts. the challenging part is remaining steadfast through the down times without complaint.

yeah, it isn't all encompassing, it is just for the initial part.

Faithful
justcurious
do you evr get uncomfortable when hurt women make generalized negative statements about men?

Talk is cheap... But you can never buy it back. Once you cross that line of saying "I love you", all bets are off. People often use the phrase in a hasty manner, which often gets people in over their heads before they were emotionally ready. It can also be used as a weapon to manipulate and get others to do what they want. One thing is for sure, once it's said, you can't take it back. You become one of two animals - An ass or a weasel.

which one are you LTW?

Joy, no not really. we speak from our experience and there is just no way to keep everything politically correct and worded exactly right. i just let people comment any way that seems right to them at the time. i apologize if my comment sounded harsh. it was not intended to be.

it didnt sound harsh Faithful
it sounded mournful

it's diappointing, Joy, when a woman refuses to be loyal and in with both feet. without loyalty, what is the point?