Some easily say "I Love You" and they mean just that. Hard to share the meaning because there could be open interpretation. What one says does not always mean what the other party gets.

I have seen such intimate moments being broken with the famous "...but I am not in love with you" which are the worst words anyone in love could hear.

Other times, even when the words are not shared, there are some actions that say more than words. Care, touch, kiss, hug, tenderness.

Little moments say more than words. At least for me.

I won't be uttering those words for a long time. Today at church I noticed all the couple like activity. Felt sad. Still life moves on. I wish I had a hero.

I think that if someone says "I love you" early on in a relationship, it's a red flag because it shows that their emotions can change quickly.

Once they are said they may be true, but I think it takes awhile to really feel a deep love. Early on is more infatuation. But if the words "I love you" mean so much.....how do you stop loving someone or hurt someone so bad?

i definitely think that if someone says it quickly, their love is suspect. i do not want to hear i love you until the other person really even knows who i am. people can fall in love with a first impression of us and then fill in the blanks with an ideal.

those are the first kinds of people that say something like, "i want the person that i first met back." they want their idealized version.

I agree Utterpain... a red flag...one I should have seen. Actually, when he said it, I thought is was kinda scary.

Now I see why.

Then again....like I said,,,my ex husband...took him a while...

Not sure what to make of it all.

Now what do I do with what I have of his?

I dont know that there any steadfast rules, every person is different, and people who are slow to fall and slow to commit sometimes meet someone whom they suddenly feel struck by lightening with (waving)...and 6 years after a breakup, my hearts still feeling that love, its waned considerably but falling quickly sure didnt mean my feelings changed quickly (as much as I soemtimes wish they would by this point).

I think the only thing you can really go by are the hair on the back of your neck, that weird turning in your stomach, you know, those physical manifestations of instinct and intuition, if the tiny sirens and alarms are going off.

Not much in this world is black and white, when it comes to people, we're incredibly sophisticated and complex, and so very diffferent.

Namaste, those words will cross your lips again, I have no doubt :)

and sorry I have no idea what to do with the object, but if you dont want it, dont keep it.

It;s funny, as I read your post, and thought about my X husband, I can't remember when he first (or i first) said I love you...but I surely must have been open to it because we go married.

Then I think about a guy I dated for five months after my divorce...and when he said "I love you" I remember my heart feeling like it was frozen up and someone had sucker punched me. Moving in THAT direction scared the mess out of me!

Yet, it comes to mean so many different things. I know I stll love my X husband, but it's kinda like the way I love my brother: I care very much, but there is no sexual, romantic, etc feelings attached to it. How very different from having been 18, in love, and head over heels.

Love has expectations that I think change the older we get. When the "honeymoon" phase is over, and the true meat and bones of the relationship are laid out there...do we realize we are acting on our 'I love yous"?

Do with the object what you feel comfortable with. If you hold onto it, or get rid of it, do it because that's what you want.

Pollo--it sucks being a single in a couples world, doesn't it?!?!?

It took a long time for me to say those three words to my exH--I was the first of the two of us--but I was in it for the long haul whereas my exH was obviously only a honeymooner. Ugh.

I think it will take me even longer next time... but who really knows what life has in store for us? Maybe I'll be struck by (love) lightning and go head over heels immediately... I doubt it, 'cos that's not me, but point is--nobody knows. We can be as careful as we want to be, but the heart wants what the heart wants.

maybe you can send his possession to one of his relatives.

the heart DOES want what it wants
and sometimes thats such a beautiful thing
and sometimes
its a pain in the a**

:(

I agree that a speedy "ily" is a red flag.....I would run like hell at that point.

reminds me of a saying

"easy come.. easy go"

sorry for the trigger nameste.. for what its worth I've been feeling triggered too. we just have to work through it i guess. hugs to you.

Yeah.

I still get teary eyed when I overhear someone say "Stop touching me".

Those were the words right? LOL!

I think it comes when it comes. Some blurt it out, some feel it but don't say it, some wait to say it second, it's all a big game. If you feel it say it. Two adults should be able to handle being, or not being on the same page.

Absolutely. People invest way too early before they even know what they have. They start feeling good about someone and something inside them snaps and they decide they need the whole pageantry that goes with liking someone. So, before you know it, you have two people saying they love each other before they even know whether they can spend one day under the same roof without killing themselves. Love is like anything. It's like alcohol. Like sugar. Like a greasy cheese burger. It sure tastes good when you first bite into it. But it can leave some pretty bad side effects if you partake in it too often without direction or discipline. There's a time and place for to say those three words. And too often those words are just wasted.