Yeah the migraine that was so terrible so couldn't drive...I was wondering when the truth would hit the fan on that. Sorry man.,.isnt it sad their stories and lies are so transparent? I know you don't want to believe it when it's happening to you...take care I know it sucks when the truth blows up in your face. You'll be ok, just process it for a bit and keep moving forward.

I remember when you posted about the migraine. I've been fed a few lines myself that I swallowed because I so wanted to believe them. That sucks. 20/20 hindsight, but it still hurts like hell. I'm so sorry for your pain.

horrible way to find out.. for both you and your daughter.. you dont even get a chance to really react.. a horrible position to put your children in.. but take the positive out of this.. she's shady.. and she's no longer your shady.. no more reason for her to lie, your fight is over.. its coming to terms with that thats rough.. one day at a time

I'm sorry, tailspin. I can't imagine the pain. Process and be glad you don't have to be with someone like that anymore. You deserve better.

Big hugs.

Funny thing is I had a strong feeling this was the case. When she texted me to forward her mail, I simply asked, "Why the major rush to file for divorce, is (loser's name) pressuring you to do it as soon as possible? Her response, "Yeah right. He's not even in the picture. I don't want to be in any relationships at all."

Like seriously, she's already moved out, already filing for divorce, already made it clear we are done.... Why even bother lie about not being in a relationship, especially with that loser? Doesn't make sense why she feels she needs to continue to hide the truth.

They deserve each other, 2 shady people back in a shady relationship AGAIN. I just feel sad for my stepdaughter having them as parents.

They don't even live together, because that 44 year old loser still lives at home with his mommy and daddy! She's probably going to end up supporting him with the job that I got for her.

I am glad you finally found out the truth. When they lie to your face, it just makes the situations even that much more disgusting. I remember when you posted about the migraine sleep over. Why do liars think that we believe their BS stories. Mine just took the OW on an overnight. He was supposed to meet me to sign some paperwork. Instead sent me a text message saying that he got his days confused and inadvertently made plans and now couldn't meet me until the next day. We literally live like 2 minutes apart. Like I can't figure that one out. Liars suck!! Good riddance. Think of you getting her that job as doing it for your step daughter that you care about. At least she will be cared for by you, not so sure her drug dealing father who lives with his mommy is capable.

I'm sorry you found it this way. As I recall you were skeptical about the migraine story from the start but having your suspicions confirmed hurts nonetheless. Good riddance to bad rubbish. You deserve so much better than a liar and a cheat. Your stepdaughter deserves better too but she's stuck with the two of them for life. It's great that she can still depend on you.

"Like seriously, she's already moved out, already filing for divorce, already made it clear we are done.... Why even bother lie about not being in a relationship, especially with that loser? Doesn't make sense why she feels she needs to continue to hide the truth."

Oh man can I relate to this. My serial 2+ year lying, cheating stbx wife still has not admitted to a single indiscretion. I know of 5 men with varying degrees of certainty from 100% to about 85% that she has cheated with. And there are likely more; she has had great opportunity and red flags are everywhere.

This bitch dragged me through a horrendous marriage counseling episode, never admitting to cheating, while I made myself vulnerable and did what I could to salvage the marriage. She was cold and uninvested the whole time. She was actually cheating at the time!!! Even when she announced that she wanted a divorce she did not admit to cheating. It was a week or two later that I found out.

We are in the midst of the divorce process. I have moved out of the house to protect my sanity and she is inviting him over to my house and cheating THERE - among other places.

There is no accounting for this type of behavior. I chalk it up to extreme selfishness and narcissism, perhaps mental illness.

You are not alone.

I am sorry but honestly it is her loss! You sound like a great guy whom is stable and went more than above and beyond to accommodate her.

Thanks everyone. You guys have been so helpful to me. You guys will never understand how much help you all have been and how appreciative I am for finding this site. I probably wouldn't have done half as well as I am doing if it wasn't for the support and kind words from you all.

I'm not sure if this is closure or not, but knowing for certain the truth, I now know I have no other choice other than to move on.

I just don't understand how she would chose a 44 year old, no job having, weed selling, still living with parents, loser over me. Not that I'm Mr. Wonderful or anything, but I know for a fact a am leaps and bounds better than that guy. Just does not make sense...

Downgrading is more common than you think. I racked my brain over the same thing..own my own house and business, always provided for her and the kids, let her do what she wanted with her money, yet she left for some asshat with 4 kids with 4 diff women, kids that won't have anything to do with him, and he shared an apartment with a couple guys and had a crap job. BUT I realized bottom line is she left and with whom she did is her problem now. Over time you won't care who she's with anymore. Just work on you now. Quite frankly I'm start it to enjoy being single lol...no more drama.

She's so very flippant in her text response to you after you are carting her around her daughter and his daughter. She is shady!!!!!!!!!! You know that's how my ex and his ex wife did me. I had his children on my health insurance because they couldn't be bothered yet they had money for all the finer things in life . Whatever. Better times are ahead for us my friend. Better times without moochers and cheaters.

I am happy you at least know the truth. How have you been doing since she has moved out?

I remember you posting about this back then.
The truth always comes out, eventually.
I too feel bad for your step daughter, glad she has you in her life.
As much as it hurts to find out, once the hurt fades, it really is true: the truth will set you free.
Now you know for sure your instincts were right about that situation.
Now you know for sure she cannot be trusted to tell you the truth.
And as much as it can hurt, you know who she really is and can one day realise you're better off.
Sounds like they deserve each others' misery. As kbbcoop said, downgrading is very common. It's easier for her to return to something shallow and shady, rather than for her to do the real work to improve herself.
Big hugs to you.

Got a text from a mutual friend of mine and my shady ass STBX. He said he saw her and her loser BF/ex-BF/BF again, loser ass baby daddy in a hotel lobby in the city. First of all, I didn't need to be made aware of that, thank you. Secondly, she's probably paying for that hotel stay (again), using money she earned at the job that I got for her.

THEN, I stupidly saw that this mutual friend of ours "friended" her on Facebook under a new account and user name (she's now using her maiden name). Her profile picture is of her posing by a window of a hotel room. I know that hotel, it's a Lake Tahoe hotel, the one she went to with him last weekend.

Anyway, it just pisses me off. I know I shouldn't care, but I'm just so pissed off at her and her BF's shadiness. I struggled to support her and her kids for almost a decade, where she didn't work and didn't pay for shit the entire time and now there she is spending money on him, again with money she's earning from a job I got her!