I'm new here , I don't have family , other then my husband and my sons, my husband notified me a few days ago that he was done with our marriage a few days after my child's birthday . We have been married for 15 years , together for more then 23 years . Our marriage has had many challenges . My older son from a previous relationship put us through the ringer a few years back . My oldest son is an adult now and not living with us . He isn't doing to well because he has issues . But that's another story. That was 8 years ago . My husband wanted a separation back then and we separated for 6 months. He came back before my youngest child went to kindergarten. Anyway , he's always been distant but I thought we were working at it , on my child's birthday , we seemed very happy making a cake together and such. I was wrong because he told me he wanted a divorce. He said he was almost 50 and he has nothing to show for it . He said our relationship has run its course and he wants to just be on his own. My youngest just turned 13 . I feel blind sighted , things weren't perfect but I didn't know he was thinking this is his head . He said he felt this way for years and has been thinking the last few weeks. I a
Was trying to make it work . I feel like while I was working for us he was just working against. He is cold and distant ,he is very comfortable about the fact we are divorcing. I on the other hand , I am suffering greatly . My skin crawls from anxiety , I can't really eat , I am sad and cry a lot , I am afraid and I feel very alone. I can't sleep .
I know from our previous separation 8 years ago that if this happened again I would let him go . We are going to a lawyer today for a counciltation. We are going today because we agree on a quick divorce. We agree on making it amicable . We are not fighting. And still living together , he told our son with me present , just want to be honest about what's going on. Once we get through the divorce we will head toward him moving out. Try to get through this together. But , it isn't really together of course , he's relieved it seems , to divorce he seems exited about his future where as I feel devastated. I did not want a divorce . I told him I did not want one but he says he does so now I am trying to move forward. I feel frozen, the pain is very intense . I feel like I can't handle this , no support from him of course he just doesn't seem to concerned with my pain or my sons pain. His words was " you'll be alright" . I asked him when he first told me , don't you love me? He said with a sneer "a little bit " he says I was a good wife and that it was a good experience . Crushing I tell you. I don't know how I am going to make it . I feel destroyed. I feel my future is empty, I'm 43 , it hurts so bad. Im staying as strong as I can for my son . I feel very alone . I want to just lay on the ground and stay there , but I try to keep moving. I don't feel like I have any support system . I see s therapist who helped me through the struggle with my eldest son, I'm not even sure he can help me anymore. My pain is greater than anything I have felt before , everyday is so painful I don't know what to do.