Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I'm new here , I don't have family , other then my husband and my sons, my husband notified me a few days ago that he was done with our marriage a few days after my child's birthday . We have been married for 15 years , together for more then 23 years . Our marriage has had many challenges . My older son from a previous relationship put us through the ringer a few years back . My oldest son is an adult now and not living with us . He isn't doing to well because he has issues . But that's another story. That was 8 years ago . My husband wanted a separation back then and we separated for 6 months. He came back before my youngest child went to kindergarten. Anyway , he's always been distant but I thought we were working at it , on my child's birthday , we seemed very happy making a cake together and such. I was wrong because he told me he wanted a divorce. He said he was almost 50 and he has nothing to show for it . He said our relationship has run its course and he wants to just be on his own. My youngest just turned 13 . I feel blind sighted , things weren't perfect but I didn't know he was thinking this is his head . He said he felt this way for years and has been thinking the last few weeks. I a
Was trying to make it work . I feel like while I was working for us he was just working against. He is cold and distant ,he is very comfortable about the fact we are divorcing. I on the other hand , I am suffering greatly . My skin crawls from anxiety , I can't really eat , I am sad and cry a lot , I am afraid and I feel very alone. I can't sleep .
I know from our previous separation 8 years ago that if this happened again I would let him go . We are going to a lawyer today for a counciltation. We are going today because we agree on a quick divorce. We agree on making it amicable . We are not fighting. And still living together , he told our son with me present , just want to be honest about what's going on. Once we get through the divorce we will head toward him moving out. Try to get through this together. But , it isn't really together of course , he's relieved it seems , to divorce he seems exited about his future where as I feel devastated. I did not want a divorce . I told him I did not want one but he says he does so now I am trying to move forward. I feel frozen, the pain is very intense . I feel like I can't handle this , no support from him of course he just doesn't seem to concerned with my pain or my sons pain. His words was " you'll be alright" . I asked him when he first told me , don't you love me? He said with a sneer "a little bit " he says I was a good wife and that it was a good experience . Crushing I tell you. I don't know how I am going to make it . I feel destroyed. I feel my future is empty, I'm 43 , it hurts so bad. Im staying as strong as I can for my son . I feel very alone . I want to just lay on the ground and stay there , but I try to keep moving. I don't feel like I have any support system . I see s therapist who helped me through the struggle with my eldest son, I'm not even sure he can help me anymore. My pain is greater than anything I have felt before , everyday is so painful I don't know what to do.
Was trying to make it work . I feel like while I was working for us he was just working against. He is cold and distant ,he is very comfortable about the fact we are divorcing. I on the other hand , I am suffering greatly . My skin crawls from anxiety , I can't really eat , I am sad and cry a lot , I am afraid and I feel very alone. I can't sleep .
I know from our previous separation 8 years ago that if this happened again I would let him go . We are going to a lawyer today for a counciltation. We are going today because we agree on a quick divorce. We agree on making it amicable . We are not fighting. And still living together , he told our son with me present , just want to be honest about what's going on. Once we get through the divorce we will head toward him moving out. Try to get through this together. But , it isn't really together of course , he's relieved it seems , to divorce he seems exited about his future where as I feel devastated. I did not want a divorce . I told him I did not want one but he says he does so now I am trying to move forward. I feel frozen, the pain is very intense . I feel like I can't handle this , no support from him of course he just doesn't seem to concerned with my pain or my sons pain. His words was " you'll be alright" . I asked him when he first told me , don't you love me? He said with a sneer "a little bit " he says I was a good wife and that it was a good experience . Crushing I tell you. I don't know how I am going to make it . I feel destroyed. I feel my future is empty, I'm 43 , it hurts so bad. Im staying as strong as I can for my son . I feel very alone . I want to just lay on the ground and stay there , but I try to keep moving. I don't feel like I have any support system . I see s therapist who helped me through the struggle with my eldest son, I'm not even sure he can help me anymore. My pain is greater than anything I have felt before , everyday is so painful I don't know what to do.
You are in shock ( so am I ) you may aslo keep asking why what did i do ( You didnt).
Keep strong i feel for you talk as much to freinds as you can it will help.
xxx
I had no clue what was going on in his mind as he acted normal towards me. I went away for 6 wks and came home on wkends I went for training to be a manager for a convience store and stayed at his brothers and wifes house in another town. they lived right around the corner from the store I would be training in. It just made sense to stay a block away from where I was training then to travel each day 60miles each way.
Well in that 6 weeks I was gone he went on a few dating sites and put an ad in saying loney married man wants company etc... or just said he was single depending which kind of site he went on.
I came home thinking how happy I was that I trained for the job and was going to manage a brand new store that was built in my own town now. I walked in with my suitcase saying honey im home and he came down the steps with his and told me I am leaving you I met someone else. sounds crazy right? I couldn't believe what I was hearing and he said im filing for divorce and sorry and walked out on me.
I was so dumbfounded as I watched him leave in front of me like it was nothing. I didn't know you could get divorced so quickly he left me in july and the divorce was final in feb. 7 months.
he had nothing came into the realinship with nothing so he left with nothing since I owned the house etc.
I haven't spoken 8 words to that man since the day he walked out on me. this was back in 2008/2009 so im over it but like you I cant imagine what you are going through, it took me a while to see the light at the end of that tunnel but it is there I promise!
The divorce should take another 4-6 weeks to be finalized , I feel some relief , and that sounds strange seeing that I was completely blindsided by this , but I do clearly see that I deserve much better then all this chaos . I'm tired of it all and just want to move on with my life whatever my life will be.
I have been just waiting for this divorce and once it is finalized I will tell my stbx it is time for him to leave my house. He actually asked if he could stay after the divorce to pay off his truck first so it will be easier on him when he leaves. What a joke! No way . I didn't say anything about it but I am sure he knows that isn't going to happen and if he doesn't then I guess he will find out when the time comes.
I am doing much better then I was at the beginning , it's rough but things are moving along as it should be .
Good luck. I know exactly how you feel.
Take care and good luck :)