Breakups & Divorce Support Group
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Have you ever purposely tanked a date?
I went out on a date tonight. Met the girl on-line and she is local. She is a very nice person but I am not attracted what-so-ever to her. Kind of kills it for me because her profile said that she was average and she was much bigger than average. Yes, she was a nice person but I am not attracted to her at all.
During the date I can tell that she is interested in me. Problem is that I am not interested in her so I decided to tactfully attempt to tank the date. I started talking a lot about my ex and tried to do things that I knew would send warning flags up for some people. It didn't work. So I finished the date after dinner and told her that I had a headache (which I did) and that I was going to go home and chill.
Before I get home I get a text message saying she had fun and she enjoyed my company. Why is it that when I like someone and try not to tank it things don't go the way I want them to and when I try to tank the date the girl likes me?
I feel bad about doing this but I just am not interested in this girl. I am probably going to get blasted here because I say that I wasn't attracted to her even though she was nice but I am being honest here, she just didn't catch my eye.
Honestly, have you ever tried to tank a date like I did? How do you handle these things?
I went out on a date tonight. Met the girl on-line and she is local. She is a very nice person but I am not attracted what-so-ever to her. Kind of kills it for me because her profile said that she was average and she was much bigger than average. Yes, she was a nice person but I am not attracted to her at all.
During the date I can tell that she is interested in me. Problem is that I am not interested in her so I decided to tactfully attempt to tank the date. I started talking a lot about my ex and tried to do things that I knew would send warning flags up for some people. It didn't work. So I finished the date after dinner and told her that I had a headache (which I did) and that I was going to go home and chill.
Before I get home I get a text message saying she had fun and she enjoyed my company. Why is it that when I like someone and try not to tank it things don't go the way I want them to and when I try to tank the date the girl likes me?
I feel bad about doing this but I just am not interested in this girl. I am probably going to get blasted here because I say that I wasn't attracted to her even though she was nice but I am being honest here, she just didn't catch my eye.
Honestly, have you ever tried to tank a date like I did? How do you handle these things?
Good luck!
~Idio
I do want to say, however, the best and longest relationship I every had was with someone I was not attracted to in any way when we met. We became friends and were friends for a very long time when something happened. He became more attractive to me over time and the more of a connection we had as friends it just got stronger. A friendship that caught fire so to speak. After 13 years he ended up breaking my heart so nothing lasts forever but I did learn that the friendship part of any relationship I have in the future is the most important part to me. Attraction will fade in time in any relationship so there has to be that friendship base or it just won't do it for me. My next man's heart will matter most to me regardless of what physical package he presents. Just me. Just my two cents.
I don't think Heave did anything wrong here. May not have worked the way he wanted and directness may have ended it sooner but still nothing wrong in my opinion.
with my now stbx... the exact opposite.. I was attracted to him the second I met him.. physically.. the last 5 yrs he became the ugliest human being on the face of the Earth... every little scar seemed magnified, the slightly receding hairline.. may as well of been Ben Franklins hairline... even his scent made me ill.. he became all around hideous to me
Instead of "tanking a date" or even having a date to begin with.. why not suggest meeting cordially as friends... no promises.. no romantic prospects.. this way, going in, there are no expectations on either side... and if the romantic subject comes up.. be honest!! not returning calls, tanking the date, just all of it.. its a bs head game... and she definitely deserves better... all humans do!
We had a good time. I was polite. I did not lead him on. Later I sent him a thank you and said that I didn't romantically connect with him but honestly would spend time with him if he was looking for someone just to spend time with. He was a good guy.
Maybe she does view herself as average.
I'd love to know how overweight she was. The average woman is 140lbs, not 110 lbs.Perhaps she has this very rare thing in women called "good self esteem".
Unless she is 7' 5" then she can't say she is near average. I said I am fit but I don't have rippling abs. I can run a half marathon and work out regularly. There could be some guys who think fit means skinny mini.
I always show recent pictures and full body shots so guys who don't like my body type can just ignore me. I spent so much time with men who weren't really into my body type but liked my personality! I know that isn't good enough and don't want that.