Of course it is completely the new normal for many here. Sometimes a good ugly cry is needed to wash away the crap building up in one's broken heart. But that doesn't mean you should let it rule you. It is easy to become complacent in the deep sorrow and self-pity. As weird as it sounds, this becomes a "comfort zone" of sorts. Force yourself to step outside this comfort zone. Don't go overboard and expect a party-life to fix anything. Just get out in the world. Find things to do alone that don't feel "alone." Spend some time with a friend or family member. Be patient with yourself. Praying helps me a lot. Blessings to you, lostsoul.

You are absolutely right. I really need to cry. I can feel it it just wont come out. I have been talking more to God lately. Thank you sending my love to you

I agree with idontmakeherhapyenuf. You will go through so many negative emotions through this like anger, self-pity, depression. All you can do is go through those emotions, but don't let it control you. Like when you start feeling angry, feel it. Go to a boxing gym or a regular gym to let off the steam. I have been going through the same thing as you. I tried going cold turkey by cutting off communication with my wife. I will shut off my cell phone at times so that I don't have to bury my face on the phone to see she will contact me. That lasted awhile until she texted me asking if I will let her come home. I responded yes, but that didn't change anything because she is still with the other man she left me for. It got to the point that I messaged her that I'm going to file for divorce. You will have your ups and downs. It's emotional roller coaster that everyone here is going through. The only thing you could do is be productive to keep you occupied. Talk to friends and family for support. They will help out in bringing the positive back to you. Stay strong, lostsoul873.

Thanks kornboy85. Yes definitely an emotional rollercoaster. The loneliness has set in and nights are worse because of sleeping alone. Im sorry for what your going through i know it isnt easy. I seem to go from sad to mad to vulnerable and needy and repeat. I dont have friends or family to talk to which is why i am on here. I wish you nothing but strength and courage to get through your situation.

Believe it or not, as I'm typing this my emotions are going all over the place again. I'm a cop in a small town and I worry my emotions will affect my job. Right now depression is kicking in because I know my wife is not doing anything to help herself. Because I do know when people leave for another person, reality is going to kick in really hard. And soon anger is going to kick in. Working in a small town sucks, because there is downtime and my mind cannot be distracted in work.

Yes, LS, it is normal to cry when you are hurt.

May the tears cleanse your heart. Hope healing happens here.

Thank you arfie im awaiting the moment my tears can fall freely.

Kornboy85 it is true our emotions can affect us in our jobs. Is it possible you can take a leave. Downtime is very hard because that is when my mind races the most. I hope you can find a healthy way to deal with the anger when it does set in love and light to you

I will try to take leave in October for my birthday. Head down to Florida and be with family.

This will be the wildest bumpiest roller coaster you will ever be on. But it is something that you will look back on and be proud of your accomplishments you took a big step by changing your number that was great a lot of people don't have the courage to do that. My prayers are with you that you feel better in the near future it's hard but it's possible.

Thank you tynee. I feel as if i did the right thing. Though i also have these feelings of guilt and wonder if im being cruel or harsh. He would always tell me i blow things out of proportion or im negative and at times that replays in my head even though i know he never gave his all or gave me the things i needed in a relationship. I guess i have to keep reminding myself this. I changed my number because for me there is no looking back and i think no contact at all will be the best way to move forward

I think that is a great idea kornboy85 maybe during that time with family you can clear your mind.

"No contact" is an incredibly important part of recovery. Your emotions are going to be all over the map. For many of us, every contact, no matter how small can have negative consequences. Changing your number is brilliant. Congratulations! Guard "no contact" - whether you want it or not! It will definitely help with recovery!

Good luck!

I think you are very brave for changing your number. It has been suggested to me many times that I do the same but can never seem to take such a drastic step. Good for you, even if it very extremely uncomfortable now. You are on the road to recovery. Keep believing that every day is a day closer to healing, even if some days feel crappy.