Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Hello everyone, I am new to this site, but it has been very helpful already. Well, to make a long story shorter, I have been married to my wife for 6 years now and we were to together for about 9 years. She meant the world to me, was my everything, my best friend. Then I found out a couple of days before Christmas last year, that she had an affair. What a Christmas gift, huh?
Needless to say I was completely devastated and I told her to leave. She packed up her things and moved back with family 1500 miles away. We tried to reconcile for the first month after she left, but got nowhere. I found out she had already starting dating someone else after only a month of being separated. I have since learned that there may have been an OM #2 here when we were together as well.
There really is no other choice now than divorce and that's what I am preparing for. I need to learn to love and respect myself enough to know that I don't need a cheater and a liar as my wife. I feel so used and betrayed. I don't understand why this had to happen? We seemed to have an excellent relationship. We went on so many fun and exciting trips and had the greatest of times.
Now I had to move back to my parents place because I could no longer afford our condo. I feel like such a loser that I am back here again at age 32. Then in mid-June I lost my job and I'm living on unemployment until the end of the summer, when it runs out and looking for work. Many times I feel worthless and my confidence has been crushed.
I am very depressed now most of the time, when I used to be very happy before. It has also increased my anxiety much more. I am very sad and lonely. Some days are better than others and I hope they continue to get better.
If anyone has any advice, comments, or questions feel free to ask me or post. You can add me as a friend if you would like as well. Sorry I made the post so long, thanks for all of your help!
HEARTBROKEN77
Needless to say I was completely devastated and I told her to leave. She packed up her things and moved back with family 1500 miles away. We tried to reconcile for the first month after she left, but got nowhere. I found out she had already starting dating someone else after only a month of being separated. I have since learned that there may have been an OM #2 here when we were together as well.
There really is no other choice now than divorce and that's what I am preparing for. I need to learn to love and respect myself enough to know that I don't need a cheater and a liar as my wife. I feel so used and betrayed. I don't understand why this had to happen? We seemed to have an excellent relationship. We went on so many fun and exciting trips and had the greatest of times.
Now I had to move back to my parents place because I could no longer afford our condo. I feel like such a loser that I am back here again at age 32. Then in mid-June I lost my job and I'm living on unemployment until the end of the summer, when it runs out and looking for work. Many times I feel worthless and my confidence has been crushed.
I am very depressed now most of the time, when I used to be very happy before. It has also increased my anxiety much more. I am very sad and lonely. Some days are better than others and I hope they continue to get better.
If anyone has any advice, comments, or questions feel free to ask me or post. You can add me as a friend if you would like as well. Sorry I made the post so long, thanks for all of your help!
HEARTBROKEN77
Thanks for all of your help everyone. I will still be on this bumpy, rough road for a while, so don't forget about me, ok?
Sending you loads of hugs. Your days will get better.
It's hard to go back to parents. This is temporary situation. Take time you need to take care of you. Journaling has helped me alot. Counteract feelings of depression by starting regimen of exercise. After what you have been through understand your decision to divorce.
Rebuilding When your relationship ends. I just started it and im in the first chapter and at the end of one page talking about acceptance is the all important positive side to this first building block called denial.
at the end of the page it said Take a deep breath and say it
"My love relationship has ended"
Now let your self cry for a while.
Boy did I ever , but while i'm writing this and reading the exact same words , I'm not crying, doesn't mean i wont later or tomorrow ,but right now I'm not and it's a good first start.
The people on this board give such wonderful advice and are in all different stages of their break-ups.
What i have found you just have to take baby steps ,because this type of pain is not going to go away over night and there are days when I feel ok and I truely examine the failed relationship and writing down these facts also helps ,especially when I am feeling like a loser and not worthy helps me stop and say hey wait a minute there is two here not just one at fault.
Hang in there , I know it's difficult ,but just take one day at a time
Sincerely
Michele
I guess I should update everyone a bit. I found out about her infidelity in December 2009 and we separated at the end of that year. The divorce was finalized in November 2010. We still text each other about every 2 weeks or so and actually talk on the phone maybe once every two months. She says she is miserable without me too, but I can't really believe anything she says.
Maybe it's still too early, but I struggle every single day with all this and everything that has happened. I have anxiety and depression. I am constantly worrying and I don't know how to calm myself and be more at peace? I wasn't always like this. Before this all happened, I was really quite happy, energetic, and motivated. Now I am just drowning in sorrow. Losing my job has added to my anxiety greatly as well. :( I keep looking for work but can't find anything. It's so frustrating. It's just so much all at once and I am having such a struggle dealing and moving on.
Please stick with me guys and help me. I really need all the help I can get. Thanks for listening. I appreciate all your help so much. :)