Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Hello everyone, I am new to this site, but it has been very helpful already. Well, to make a long story shorter, I have been married to my wife for 6 years now and we were to together for about 9 years. She meant the world to me, was my everything, my best friend. Then I found out a couple of days before Christmas last year, that she had an affair. What a Christmas gift, huh?
Needless to say I was completely devastated and I told her to leave. She packed up her things and moved back with family 1500 miles away. We tried to reconcile for the first month after she left, but got nowhere. I found out she had already starting dating someone else after only a month of being separated. I have since learned that there may have been an OM #2 here when we were together as well.
There really is no other choice now than divorce and that's what I am preparing for. I need to learn to love and respect myself enough to know that I don't need a cheater and a liar as my wife. I feel so used and betrayed. I don't understand why this had to happen? We seemed to have an excellent relationship. We went on so many fun and exciting trips and had the greatest of times.
Now I had to move back to my parents place because I could no longer afford our condo. I feel like such a loser that I am back here again at age 32. Then in mid-June I lost my job and I'm living on unemployment until the end of the summer, when it runs out and looking for work. Many times I feel worthless and my confidence has been crushed.
I am very depressed now most of the time, when I used to be very happy before. It has also increased my anxiety much more. I am very sad and lonely. Some days are better than others and I hope they continue to get better.
If anyone has any advice, comments, or questions feel free to ask me or post. You can add me as a friend if you would like as well. Sorry I made the post so long, thanks for all of your help!
HEARTBROKEN77
Needless to say I was completely devastated and I told her to leave. She packed up her things and moved back with family 1500 miles away. We tried to reconcile for the first month after she left, but got nowhere. I found out she had already starting dating someone else after only a month of being separated. I have since learned that there may have been an OM #2 here when we were together as well.
There really is no other choice now than divorce and that's what I am preparing for. I need to learn to love and respect myself enough to know that I don't need a cheater and a liar as my wife. I feel so used and betrayed. I don't understand why this had to happen? We seemed to have an excellent relationship. We went on so many fun and exciting trips and had the greatest of times.
Now I had to move back to my parents place because I could no longer afford our condo. I feel like such a loser that I am back here again at age 32. Then in mid-June I lost my job and I'm living on unemployment until the end of the summer, when it runs out and looking for work. Many times I feel worthless and my confidence has been crushed.
I am very depressed now most of the time, when I used to be very happy before. It has also increased my anxiety much more. I am very sad and lonely. Some days are better than others and I hope they continue to get better.
If anyone has any advice, comments, or questions feel free to ask me or post. You can add me as a friend if you would like as well. Sorry I made the post so long, thanks for all of your help!
HEARTBROKEN77
Sorry for your loss.
I'm going through this also but at a much earlier stage. I'm in week three. I'm going to try a therapist. I think maybe a bit of professional help will be just the ticket at least for me. There's no shame or no one should think you're insane for going to a therapist. If they do then they're ignorant.
Also you may try to volunteer some place. It's a great way to give back to the comunity and occupy your time.
Good luck to us all. =)
Does anyone know anything about this? I could use some help. I can't afford an attorney right now and I don't think she can either.
Read your first post from this thread. I'm glad you got here.
Good luck to you.
It really knocked me back down. All those years of our lives together in the cards and papers. I don't know, I guess that's just part of the deal, but it sure hurts.
Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day though, since I got all of that out of the way. It's just heartbreaking right now. :(
As for the marriage problems, the pain is still ongoing. I've been in the process of sending her back a few boxes of her things that she left. I'm also getting the credit card debt under control. One little step at a time and maybe I'll make it through this nightmare. :)
Wife and I have been messaging each other lately and it is just such a confusing mess. We can't agree on much (except that we still love and miss each other tremendously) and she won't come back. I won't move there either, I can't. I know it would be a mistake. So I think we are both getting closer to calling it quits for good. :(
The situation is so painful and confusing. My heart is still broken and it's been over 9 months since separation now. My therapist just recently moved on, so now I have to find a new therapist and start my story all over again. This could turn out to be positive though, not sure yet.
One positive piece of news: I finally got our last credit card paid off and cancelled the account. This makes me feel a little better at least. :)
Hard times are definitely still ahead and I still need all the support and friendship I can get. Thanks so much for everything already, my DS family. You're wonderful and continue to amaze me with your kind and caring. Thank you.
I just need to get started on the paperwork. Ugh, this is SO hard but I believe it's necessary. Please keep me in your prayers and thoughts. I know there are more tough times ahead, but I hope this is a step towards a brighter future.
Thanks everyone. :)
I just wanted to say that I am sorry for what is going on...I have been where you are, with some other life glitches...it is not easy and will get harder before it gets better but fight the urge of beating yourself up...don't feel like a loser for the way the economic situation is right now. Trust. I work for unemployment and I know first hand that people who are capable and qualified are either out of work or if they are working, underpaid and overqualified (myself included). I lived at home for a while with my mom for different circumstances but it still made me feel at times like I was at square one and inadequate...
In any case, keep strong, put your best foot forward, and best effort to the present, and take baby steps, day by day to get over the pain and anguish of your divorce for a great future.
*bro hugs* Good Luck...my shiny nickel's worth...
Things went well there and then I met a couple of friends for lunch, when I got a call from my mom saying that my oldest brother had almost taken his own life! I raced to his house and gave him and his wife a hug. I let them know how much I loved them. A couple of my family members were already there thankfully. I never want to see that kind of situation ever again. It was terrible.
On top of all this, it was my younger brother's birthday! Things just don't seem to be getting any easier for me, even though I keep trying. :(
It may take long time but we'll find peace in mind again. You'll get there.
Hugs to you.