Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
My girlfriend of over a year now let me know Sunday night that she wants to take a break. she wants it to be just her and the kids for a while. This comes 3 days after her saying that our love was the first real love shes had and she wanted to make a family together. Im 44 shes 36 with two kids 11 and 7. I have an amazing realtionship with the kids and she wants me to continue to be in their lives. She just got accepted into nursing school and something tells me she feels like she just doesnt have time for me. Not that we spent a ton of time together except on weekends. This was a crushing blow to me. Especially since shes taking everything so well and it seemingly doesnt bother her. But she says shes just learned to suppress it. We have both talked about marriage and a future together. Im devestated.
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My best friend ruined my day with her immature, bitchy self. If she doesn't get her way, she has a tizzy fit. I told her weeks ago that I couildn't go to yard sales with her on 9/12 because i have a hair appointment. She wasn't happy. I also told her that I don't have any money to go to yard sales. She tried to talk me into going to more yard sales by saying that if I don't go, there...
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The Friday before Labor Day just before we left, the options given to me basically were either quit of be fired, and if I were to stay on I were to be put on an improvement plan, which is pretty much synonymous with getting fired. I was going to do the improvement plan and just ride it out until I found another job due to money and due to the fact that I did not want to quit without another job....
Maybe you two weren't on the same page about a lot of things? Something to consider. For now, work on yourself, stay busy, give her the space and don't contact her. You need to take care of You.
But you do not need to contact her, you need to stop talking to her and the kids. You will do damage to them, the kids, if you stay in contact and are not 100% in their lives.
You need to work on knowing that she has made her decision and you have to work on your healing now.
Fight every fiber to contact her, it will only make you hurt more every-time afterwards.
Its going to hurt until you deal with it, you need to work it out in your head, write down everything, burn it or eat it either way.
You need to focus on your healthy and healing.
If it was a fun year then live with that and work on your future, look to your future goals.
You are single now and need to get your life back on track to getting yourself ahead of the game. You will hurt there is no doubt about that.
What does not make you better will kill you, so take control face your pain head on.
Be mournful take time to cry, to be angry, to hate, to scream, to sleep.
Give yourself 30 days, work on your pain for 30 days. Heal yourself for 30 days.
This reply by Urbangardner from earlier this year needs revisiting.
urbangardener
urbangardener 01/10/2019
It sounds like you have to be in a relationship to feel complete or maybe even happy. When that happens, we often pick the wrong people. We can only change us, we can't fix or manage others and we can't make anyone happy except ourselves. You need to find a life and activities of your own rather than expecting a lover, partner, girl or boy friend, or spouse to solve your life/social needs for you. Dating for 5 months is not long enough to truly know someone. The person you love may not be the person who is really inside of her. We each have to find our self confidence and self identity for ourselves not through other people. Consider that perhaps she is a crutch that allows you NOT to change or make a good life for yourself? I really liked The New Codependency book by the author of Codependent No More.
A few months after the relationship ended - I joined an older singles ministry at a local church. It was a good thing for me. I found out how to be the best person I could be. I also met a lot of great people there who had similar situations in their lives. We would help to inspire each other on and pray for each other. Everything goes better with prayer! I kept on dating and eventually met my wife.
Prayers for you to be able to find a good singles group to find support and encourage you onward.