Y'all live in different States and he's made it pretty clear that "he thinks your on different pages" probably good to let it go, he doesn't seem to be interested in a long-term, long-distance thing.

I said we weren’t on the same page first. He told me he has fears of being alone. Hence me wondering if I should try to reach out again. This could be his defense mechanism

Did you say that you only went on one date?

It seems him saying you should move to Florida, when you barely know him, he was half-joking. So, I would let that part go. The way he's been acting since after that date does seem he is not that interested in pursuing any relationship.

And, there's the whole long distance thing... which is difficult to do.

Don't make any plans to go to Florida. Sure, you can reach out now, as long as you don't get your hopes up. But sure, send him a friendly text, ask him how he is, etc. Just be friendly. Don't bring up the other stuff you already said, don't apologize again. Just start fresh.

Hello,

This guy gave you an exciting and engaging conversation in just a short course of time, this is at the "start-up" phase of what you perceived as something that appeared to be what you expect. And what is interesting is that the creative part of the date is where he fed on your emotions in a way that pleases you, and, naturally, this date has personal meaning to you only. I believe that he provided you with only the framework about the first-rate type of relationship you desire, and, to a degree, I believe that he planned it this way for a purpose in him. I am curious about how you met. I ask this because looking on this as an observer, or by what you tell here of your experience - I need more facts to support my beliefs.

I will remind you that appearances are deceiving, yet it could be that this guy has some integrity. Nevertheless, he is avoiding you and this is obvious. People go a lot by appearances too. What puzzles me is that he claims sweetness as a personal trait, only he avoids you and leaves you to wonder what the matter is. Indeed, he did tell you that people flee from him because of this trait, in that I admire him for forewarning you.

Best to you...I am so sorry that you are dealing with trying to figure out where to go from here.

Remiah, we met on tinder. I just feel like I messed it up because I came off as distracting him during his work. I tried to make things right in a text last Monday but he didn’t respond. He seems to have insecurity issues tbh. And not to sound rude, but I am the more attractive one between us, and that doesn’t matter to me because he’s so sweet. Sigh. The commenter above said I could text, my good friend told me not to text, so idk what to do. I really like him

Thanks for the update :-)

I smile that you mention the more attractive one between you. I've come to realize that a look in the sunlight, informing our conceptualization of beauty, is not always so significant to a good relationship. You are wise!

On the matter of how you met, it appears that "tinder" is match, chat and date type of social media? So your initial contact was relatively overall online word chat. You might prefer to go back and review your deepest shared conversations. Research shows that people gain a first impression of you within the first few seconds of contact. Thereafter, it takes a great deal for them to revise impressions.

My point: this guy is not showing up for emotional appointments. Admittedly it's not unusual for a person with emotional insecurities to avoid chatting when they prefer to burn all ties and vow never to love again. And I do feel that you are pressuring him, yet you are dealing with your own personal issues as well. So, just a reminder, cool the enthusiasm and get flexible in your expectations with this one. Follow it with a thank-you for your time; he did you a good turn. However, the next move is really up to him after that. This guy lives by code for a good reason. If you overextend your attention to him, attempting to get details of which he is uncomfortable to discuss with you, then you break his own guidelines, you lose him consequently. I really feel that it is the milage of pain he has endured that is keeping him away from you. Only please don't audit his feelings; let him come to you.

Bless your day. Hugs!

...back to tell you that I did online research after this last reply, and I think that this article may be interesting to you for further ideas about what you are encountering with this guy. And, just to mention it, all replies here are very useful and honest, upfront insights. I admire how informed your posters are! I've learned a few things myself :-) Thanks (all) for sharing your stories and inspirational thoughts.

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/love-matters/2018/06/six-ways-to-avoid-pitfalls-and-find-success-in-online-dating/

You really like the one-time only picture he created for you to see. If he was really such an absolutely amazing and romantic man, would he not continue that behavior? What happened to his sweetness and niceness?

He hooked you with a romantic date, reeled you in sweet words. Once he successfully caught you, the facade of being a great guy has been dropped, and now you see who he really is. And because who he really is doesn't match the perfect image of him he planted in your mind, you are making excuses for him.

Honestly, I don't see a relationship in the making. I see a one time fantasy date, followed by a pattern of rudeness, avoidance and excuses.

If this is the "honeymoon stage", I don't wouldn't want to be there when the bloom of a new relationship falls off.

You seem to have some insecurity issues of your own. You met on Tinder, went on 1 date and then he went back home....to another State. He's not replying to your messages, he's said he's "on a different page"...given you all the earmarks of not being interested in a Relationship...and your not listening.

Guys don't usually go on Tinder to find their 1 true, happily ever after love. He was in your town for a short time. I doubt his work keeps him so busy he can't have a life, texting, dating or otherwise. It doesn't matter who's better looking, his behavior gave you what you wanted and then changed dramatically when he no longer wanted to be involved with you. You're now seeing who he really his....not so nice and charming.

You've gotten a lot of great advice here, but you don't seem to want to hear it, your friends have advised you....

Chasing after someone who doesn't want to be chased is just going to cause you to suffer....

I would listen to your friend who knows you best. I would suggest not reaching out. Leave it in his court. I’m sorry, I know it’s frustrating and you are going through a stressful time with your dad. This has happened to me also where I’m the better catch of the two of us and the men don’t appreciate what they have. Let him miss you and don’t be too quick to take him back.

You should let this go and take it as a memorable wonderful fun and exciting time that you enjoyed together. You can’t force things, let it go, put it in the back of your mind and concentrate on being happy inside of yourself. You should never have to beg or continually ask someone to spend time with you, it devalues you, you are of value and you are important, someone else will come into your life and you will be stronger from this experience :-)

I know you are feeling anxious right now and I am sorry that he is not on the same page with you. I do not want to offend you, but it does sound like you are coming on a bit too strong. It does sound like you came on perhaps a bit needy. I can see why, because you are going through something very difficult now with your dad. But I could see how this person you just met would feel a little overwhelmed, as he may feel like you have unrealistic expectations of him to support you the way a long-term boyfriend would when he has no idea who you really are and has only gone on one date with you. I could see how it might make him feel pressured and cause him to feel a bit overwhelmed and pull back. Iin all honesty, how well can you know a man you went on one date with. I think you are jumping too far ahead. He obviously knows where you stand, and the next move should be up to him. You may not hear from him again, and that hurts, but you honestly do not know him. It is easy to have fun and be charming for one date. I think this one may be a write off -- lesson learned to not jump into relationship without building a foundation of friendship first. There is a book I really encourage you to get and read before you try to move into another dating scenario. It is called Love, Sex, and Lasting Relationships by Chip Ingram. It changed the way I think about relationships, and I think it could be helpful in how you approach future relationships.