Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
My wife and I have been having problems in the last few months. Argument after argument. I'd be here all night if I tried to detail them all. Married for 8 years. I've always made it a point to see that she's happy. I have health problems (gastrointestinal, anxiety/depression/panic, etc). She likes to take a vacation every year to the beach 8 hours away. I put a lot of pressure on myself to make sure I'm well enough to go. I tell myself that she works hard and I WILL get in the car and go and not ruin her fun. I'm currently unemployed as I've been able to take time off to see various doctors.
We decided to have a weekend getaway to a tourist destination about 3 hours away. Anything she wanted to do, I'd go. I picked out something to do and she said it was not something she was interested in but I could catch a trolley and go by myself. That really hurt my feelings because in spite of my health issues, I try so hard to do what she wants to keep her happy. There is even a Mexican restaurant in our hometown that she loves to eat at. It hurts my stomach a lot of times but I go anyway because it's what she wants. But when things reverse, she has no problem telling me she won't do this or that.
I brought this up today (along with other issues). She said she thought about it and said she just can't make me happy. Said I'm too good of a person and she can't meet the same level of kindness so we should just divorce.
Now I feel like I can never show any emotions. If I tell her something is bothering me, she'll just say "well I'm always messing up so let's just divorce so you'll be happier."
I don't know what to do. Proceed with filing for divorce or just keep my mouth shut going forward and "go with the flow."
I sincerely thank each of you that takes the time to read this and respond.
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I'm horrified! I knew my insurance would go up due to getting a new car but I didn't expect it to go up over $2,000. I did have an accident with the snow/ice in the winter. I was just telling my brother that I have had my car since March 2, 2026 and have only spent $75 on an oil change. Now this! I called another insurance company and their quote was over $4,000. I guess I have to pay...
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She is being mean to you, so now it's time to take care of YOU. Have your doctors been helpful with your health? Are you treating your anxiety and panic? (I have had anxiety and panic for over 20 years, so I know how challenging that is).
You seem to have lost yourself in this marriage. Time to look out for yourself. Do what YOU want to do to better yourself. Just ignore her mean comments.
I bet she will look at you in a whole new light once you get out there and start doing things for yourself!
Work on your spirit and health, you must draw some boundaries and stick to them. It will be painful at first, but as you learn to respect yourself more and more you will be able to love yourself more.
Marriage is work, but it is also a reward for helping each other grow.
I would not tell you whether you should or should not divorce, but I will advise you to get a free consultation with a family law attorney now, while you have the luxury of time and are not working. Educate yourself, learn what you are entitled to get from the marriage, and don't let your wife know you did this. I think arming yourself with information may set your mind at ease for a bit. Also make sure you are familiar with the family finances. All of this is within your rights.
Everyone’s experience is different, but I will tell you, you can’t be responsible for someone else’s happiness- especially someone who manipulates to deal with their own feelings (and definitely the threat of divorce or telling you you’re too good for them IS manipulation). That is a weight that can’t be carried as long as you want to carry it- it isn’t a healthy relationship, it’s a one sided relationship.
I agree w/ other good comments; seek some individual help for yourself, take care of yourself, and be consistent (like it sounds like you have been). You can’t control others- you can influence- sure- but a relationship is giving and getting- not just giving and bearing the total weight of another.
It’s incredibly difficult- I know- believe me- I know... again please message me and we can talk more, but it’s a decision you have to make, and then take action on your decision. Standing up for having a healthier relationship is a REALLY good thing- hard yes, but either way this goes- there is NOTHING wrong with wanting a stronger relationship!
Take care.
It isn’t healthy to continue on an unhealthy path- you have to make the best decision you can- I support you! Reach out anytime via the messages here. I’ve found some great listeners and great advice here with my own struggles. I am truly sorry for what you’re going through- hang in there the best you can!