Actually, I think it is the opposite. That more people have a hard time after a breakup than not. How long were you two together? How did it end?

Not like people are going to walk around town moping and looking sad. We all have to put on a brave face and go back out in the world. It doesn't necessarily mean your ex is happy with that girl. Is there a way you could avoid seeing them so much?

Keep busy with your things, keep talking to new people (just as friends at first) and soon you won't be thinking about him so much as you get more and more busy with your new life:). Delete all his stuff, his social media, etc. You're going to be okay!

@GirlinCalif .. We had been together for close to 10 months ..
I so wish I could avoid seeing him but I can't as we work for the same company (I know cardinal sin !)
What hurts is all the things he used to do with/for me ..like syncing our break time, walking me to my car ..holding the door open ; he now does for her. I guess I am having a hard time expecting that somehow like his exists and I can't have him !

Thank you for listening, I seriously hope I get to that stage where the pain is no longer overbearing :|

Well, that IS rude. How did you two end?
And he's doing the same things for her now? Guess he has no new moves, huh? (Ha ha, just trying to make a joke for you). Maybe you should date a new guy at your company too. Have the new guy walk you to your car :)

I think seeing your ex constantly sounds like torture! Very hard to move forward with constant reminders and watching the new romance.....can you park in different places, start and finish at different times or eat at a different spot? Not forever, but just to have a break from having to watch all that....

Kind of sounds like you need a guys perspective on this one. I’m not always descriptive, so bare with me. So, depending on his mental timing of when he let you go or broke up with you could have a bearing of why he has recovered so fast. Also, guys compartmentalize, so it’s sometimes easier for us to shove the feelings and emotions of one relationship into a compartment, and forget about it for a while or forever. Not all guys are like this though. Sometimes guys really struggle with showing any emotion. Kind of sounds like you were more into the relationship than he was. In my opinion, 10 months isn’t very long, For some guys, the best way to move on is sleeping around or finding just one other to sleep with. For myself, if I didn’t bring sex into the relationship within a certain time period, I had a very hard time creating any concrete foundation with the other person.

10 months feels like a very long time but in the grand scheme of things is just a blink of the eye.
But regardless of how long you were together it’s how much emotion you devoted to the relationship that creates the hurt. Like sillywabbit4u said maybe he wasn’t as invested as you... you may never know why he’s moved on so quickly and honestly that’s a good thing.

If you broke up with him and you’re hurting that he’s moved on quickly maybe think of the reasons why you broke up with him in the first place and think you dodged a bullet with him. If he broke it off with you think back and see if you can pin point the time in the relationship when things changed from honeymoon stage to comfort only. By comfort I mean only being with someone for the sake of not being alone no real connection.

In reality things like this only hurt for a short amount of time. Find the things in the relationship you wanted to change (about yourself and how the relationship made you feel) and work to change those things starting with you first. Were you the jealous girlfriend that caused fights (I can be so I know how that is) and work on your confidence. Did the relationship lack connection and decent deep conversations? Maybe find a few topics you find interesting and make a hobby outta them. Do you like diy jobs or something similar and go to a class and meet new people make new connections with people. A girlfriend of mine goes on cruises to blow off steam after a break up maybe that will work for you too. I myself lose myself to my book boyfriends (lol) with alpha males who apparently know how to treat a woman. But it’s been a while since I’ve been single so that may not work anymore. Find what works best for you taking your mind off him and putting it to work finding something that makes you happy. A relationship will come that will be better then what you had

@GirlinCalif .. Oops, I conveniently left out the part that hurts !
Long story short - I went on a 3 week vacation and I am not sure what happened during that time as he was being really distinct and when I returned he said he thought a lot when I away and he didn't think we should take this any forward as he felt we will not have a happy ending ( we belong to different nationalities) ..he cares about me but isn't willing to go through a heartbreak again for my sake!
I tried my best to reason with what he felt , but you know when a person has made up his mind and there is absolutely nothing one can do to change it ..it's like that .. he needed an out and he took the first change he got!

@ghost23 .. I named it as my " Personal Hell" .I have tried everything possible ..
I leave office late and come in early .. just to avoid seeing something that will hurt , but it helps very little as unintentionally I end up bumping into him or them .. and that unknownness in his eye when he sees me hurts the most.

Thank you for listening:)

@sillywabbit4u I was under the impression that we both were too alike ..in sense both are introverts/ over-thinker ... but I was so wrong it's like he changed
overnight and I was left wondering if this is the real him or the one I knew!

Thank you for attempting to offer me a different perspective.

@wanttobehappy ..Thank you, everything you said makes sense and I agree with some or most of it! ;)
I struggle with fact of not knowing when it went wrong as we were great until it wasn't.. I spent many hours wondering if I saw a clue that I ignored ...
maybe somethings in life we never get closure and just have to expect it for what it is .

It kind of sounds like while you were on vacation he started looking around for someone else to hang out with, maybe he was bored or whatever. Since things suddenly changed when you got back.

Think about why you don't want to be with this guy. For example. He's so quick to move on to the next girl (and at the same job, too?? That's just tacky. And it makes him look like the company playboy... not a good look on him), and other things that you two didn't agree on, argued about, etc. It doesn't seem this was The Guy for you for the long run. You can and will do better! Message me if you want to talk more.

I hope you are doing better...
an update would be nice.

@MemphisWH As I read back at these reply’s n my emotion state at that time to post to today .. the thing improved in my ability to move on from hurtful seeings/ situations...
Now I just take 50% lesser time to recover from it !
I can’t wait to be done with this phase of life as I don’t see any learning in this

Maybe you care deeply. So even though you may not be "in love" with him anymore you probably still care about him as a person and need time to resolve some of the left overs from the relationship with him.
He may or may have not moved on quickly. It's hard to say with out knowing him. A few possibilities though:
1. He didn't actually care about you.
2. He's trying to cover up the uncomfortable feelings of getting over you by dating some one else.
3. He hasn't moved on from you but some one caught his attention. This one is not good because at some point he'll be emotionally confused since he never took the time to move on from you first before relationship hopping.

I know it's hard hun, but keep moving forward. Try to look at the positive things you learned from being in a relationship with this person. As long as you learned something beneficial to you it was never a waste of time but simply a lesson learned.
Next time, you'll have more wisdom and knowledge with choosing a mate.
Hugs <

Why does fear have such a big hold on me. I've known for a very long time that this relationship was not going to work. I discovered this fact after my first child turned three, however, two years after my son turned three I allowed myself to have a second child and stay for 24 years. Sadly, we have gone from speaking much of the day to hardly speaking to each other at all. We don't seem to know how to communicate. We have gone to counseling twice and it did not help. I can no longer worry about if my words will cause him to retreat into the empty bedroom. I don't see a future for us and I don't want to live out my golden years alone. I've purchased an online divorce and will be serving the papers soon. I must push pass fear and be open to the possibility that there maybe someone I am meant to spend the rest of my life with and it is not the person I am with today. And or that there is no person out there for me but me, and that's will have to be okay.