How would anyone know what was posted by an anonymous person be about them unless they hacked into their spouses account.

It may be posted publicly, but there is no way of knowing who it's about unless you and your brother are stalking your stbx/ex.

I have never, ever hacked into anyones account for any reason.
I came here because he was spending a lot of time on the computer/PDA and things were changing. I knew something was up, but I didn't know what. I walked through our bedroom one day and saw the header for DS. I came here and started reading. He had posted pictures of himself. It wasn't that hard to figure out.

He posted his picture as his avatar?

You simply stumbled upon his activity?

I don't understand. I would not be able to specifically, find anyone here unless I actively looked for them and knew what to look for.

I wonder if the reaction to this would be different if genders were reversed.

I'm with Dab on this one. My ex also came here and had a few hurt feelings. I told him I had a few hurt feelings when I found out he was fucking a girl from his office behind my back.
He said "touche'".

Yes, it is human nature to snoop; but it is also human nature to vent and piss and moan. This is where we do it.

(Also, Bridget, you're under a bit of a misconception regarding Skwerl's ex's hopes. He'll be on in a bit to clarify.)

Yes, he did. And no, I don't think so. I was indeed looking for what was up. I didn't have to hack into anything. It was all right there. For everyone to see.

I never said I stumbled onto anything. I said I knew something was wrong and I went looking for it.

He had other avenues to vent. He now regrets what he did here. And if you search this very site you will find his regrets.

My point AGAIN is that you can't expect privacy on a public site.

Go ahead and post whatever you want DAB. If it backfires on you, that's your business.

Ok Jo. I am assuming I don't have the full story. And honestly, I am not deserving of said story. It's your business and I respect both of you.

Bridget, I'm already divorced.

And if my ex is that consumed with a man that she dumped, well, she has my sympathies. I do mean that sincerely.

Bridget - I think the full story is important. Skwerl's ex is a nice person and he does respect her feelings, as he should, and as do I.

I like you too. :)

DAB, we were married at the time. In fact, we still are.
We were in therapy to repair said marriage when I came to DS to find out what he was doing. He was not seeing someone else, he was not viewing porn, he was here, venting about me.
I felt I had an obligation to find out what was going on. What was going on hurt me to the core.

But in the end, maybe it was a blessing. I found out how much he really could not stand me. I found out his true feelings for me. My choice was to move on. His choice is now to hold on. Given all of this, I don't know why.

Bridget, I wish I knew then what I knew now. It might not have changed anything with my marriage (I suspect it would not have.....she just wanted out), but I think I'd feel better about my role in it's demise.

I do wish you and your H luck with moving forward; I know how difficult it is.

Hi all :)

Great discussion.. I think I'm somewhere in between. I think there were things I should not have said about her, but I do think this should be a safe place for me to vent. I have said mean things about here a couple times in the beginning, and I rightly got called out on it. She did invade my privacy by looking around here, however it is an open forum. (She knows my username because I told it to her once. I talk a lot about DS because it's my space to process. She knows I'm obsessed with squirrels lol)

And to clarify, she was never interested in reconciliation. She expressed to me that she was feeling regret about the divorce, mostly for our son's sake, and that these were just passing feelings.
I'm very glad we can still talk about our feelings with each other, but she's gotten to the point that she's worried everything she tells me will be broadcasted here in some attempt to use it against her; to make her look like the bad guy and our divorce was all her fault, and I make her look like a lunatic etc. etc.

However, I still maintain that she has these ideas because of her own ego and insecurity, and lack of understanding of me, and of the nature of DS.

Skwerl, I think you nailed it with "I still maintain that she has these ideas because of her own ego and insecurity".

Ego and insecurity are two of the things we all battle in our breakups, no matter what side of the fence (leaver vs. left) we happen to be on.

I wouldn't know for sure, but if you have said mean things about her in the past, and she knows now from experience that what she tells you in confidence is not kept secret but ends up here, then it may be she is basing her feelings on her experience of you on DS more than, or as well as, her ego and insecurity?

If I put myself in her shoes, I would be reticent and cautious too.

No doubt, Joy..

But wouldn't ego and insecurity effect how an "outsider" would percieve DS?
If I were to listen in on her counseling sessions, wouldn't how I percieve the conversation depend on my ability to be objective, and understand the atmosphere and space that conversation was taking place in?

Well, try if you can to reverse the roles. What if she came here and described all your faults and complaints about the marriage? If you came here, would you be bothered by that? Would it make you feel better if she told everyone here that you are just insecure?

If she has expressed to you that your posting her information here is hurtful to her, I would suggest to you that if you respect her, you will stop. Do you really need to blessing and/or approval of anyone here?

She has made choices about her life that have affected her marriage. You have made choices based on those choices. You both have decided to move on. What more needs to be said?

If, in your original post, you are regretting saying things about her, feeling that you were needing to vent in order to heal, and said healing has taken place..... then stop. And enjoy the silence. You don't have so say anything else. You don't have to justify your previous thoughts. You don't have to blame her insecurity or ego.

You say:
I am sorry I have done something to hurt you. I am stopping now.

And go on and get the happiness you deserve. Be respectful of her, take care of your child, and enjoy your life.